“Maybe, but I doubt a movie can distract a man as well as our girl Candy can.”
I rolled my eyes and giggled. “You may have a point there.”
“So, should I tell Menace you’re interested in the position?”
“Menace?”
“He’s the one who does most of the hiring around here. Once I give him the go-ahead, he’ll do a background check and—”
“A background check?” I asked, sounding more horrified than I’d intended. It wasn’t that I had anything to hide. I’d never been in any kind of trouble or associated with anyone who had, but I feared there would be questions about my past I wasn’t prepared to answer. “Is that really necessary? I’ve been working at Crockett’s for all this time, and Gladys never did a background check.”
“There a reason why you seem so concerned about it?”
“I’m not concerned. I was just wondering why he thought it was necessary.”
“It’s standard measure for all new hires. It’s a way for us to make sure we know who we’re bringing into the fold.”
“Okay. That makes sense. I’ll get him whatever information he needs.”
As the words left my mouth, I thought back to the day I’d left San Antonio and the mix of excitement and sadness that had filled my heart as I prepared to leave. Before pulling out of the driveway, I looked up at our large two-story home and searched for any sign of my parents. I hoped one of them might come out and try to stop me from leaving or at the very least give me a hug goodbye to show they actually cared about me, but they were nowhere to be found. Kate, on the other hand, was standing in her bedroom window. Despite all the hurt feelings and bitterness, I loved my sister, I truly did, but as I’d sat there looking into her cold, dark eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d felt the same about me.
I was pulled from my thoughts when Rafe placed his hand on my thigh and asked, “You good with all this?”
“Absolutely. Leaving Crockett’s and starting here is a lot to take in all at once.”
“It definitely is.” He studied me for a minute, his eyes searching mine, then he replied, “I think it’s time to be getting you home.”
“Yeah, you might be right.”
Rafe took my hand in his and lead me out to the parking lot. After I buckled on my helmet, he helped me get on his bike behind him, and then we were on our way to my apartment. Unlike the time before, I didn’t even notice the lights or anything else about my surroundings. Thinking about the day I’d left home had dredged up feelings and memories I’d tried desperately to put behind me, and no matter how hard I tried to push it from my mind, one of my worst memories came rushing into my thoughts.
It was Christmas morning. I was seven, maybe eight, and Kate was five. We were gathered around the tree opening presents. As usual, my parents made a huge fuss over every present my sister unwrapped, going on and on like they’d never seen anything so adorable, while I sat off by myself and opened mine with little notice. I didn’t mind. At that moment, I was too anxious to care. I’d written Santa a thousand letters, each one pleading him for a Mommy and Me doll, and I couldn’t wait to see if I’d actually received one. When I’d gotten down to my last present, I eagerly reached for it and started ripping away at the paper. To my grand surprise, it was the exact doll I’d been hoping for. Without thinking, I held the box up in the air and gasped. “Momma, look! Santa brought it.”
Without even turning her head to look at me, she answered, “That’s great, Marlie. I’m glad you got it.”
“I love her!”
“I want dat dolly, Momma,” Kate fussed
“Well, I’m not sure if Santa brought you one of those dolls, sweetie.”
Big crocodile tears filled Kate’s eyes as she whined, “I want to play with the dolly, Mommy.”
Mom quickly turned to me and said, “Marlie, let your sister play with the doll for a little while.”
“But I want to play with her...Santa brought her to me.”
“I’m very aware of that. I’m also aware of the fact your sister is upset and crying on Christmas. You being stingy with a silly toy isn’t helping matters.”
“But Momma...”
Her tone grew angry and demanding as she ordered, “Give your sister the damn doll.”
My heart immediately dropped into my stomach as I watched Kate hop up and rush over to me. She extended her hands and greedily wiggled her fingers as she waited for me to hand over my precious doll. Knowing there’d be a huge argument if I didn’t give it to her, I handed my sister the doll and pleaded, “Please be careful with her.”
Without responding, Kate snatched the doll from my hands and raced to her room, leaving her mountain of toys behind. I gathered the few gifts I’d been given, and as I started towards my room, I glanced over to my parents. They were both talking amongst themselves and never even seemed to notice when I left. I carried my things to my room and put them away, then lay across the bed and cried for what seemed like days. I probably would’ve stayed there all day if Mom hadn’t called us all in for dinner. Reluctantly, I pulled myself out of bed and made my way into the dining room. Just as I’d sat down, Kate came be-bopping in with my doll in her hand. She dropped it into my lap with a huff.
“It’s broke-d.”
“What?” I looked down at my prized possession and was devastated to find the nipple piece of the bottle broken off in its mouth. And not only that, but there was also something wrong with its eye. “What did you do?”
“Nuttin’. It just broke-d.” She pulled herself up in the seat next to me and shrugged. “You can have her back now.”
“Mom! She ruined my Mommy and Me doll!”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean to.” Mom placed the turkey down on the table as she said, “We will get you another one.”
“You promise?”
“Yes, Marlie. Now, stop whining and let’s get ready to eat.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I’d like to say my mother kept her word and got me another doll, but sadly, she did not. In fact, she wouldn’t even discuss it with me. The memory of that night might seem trivial to some, after all, it was just a silly doll, but for me, it was the realization that I lived in my sister’s shadow—making me invisible to everyone around me, especially my parents.
I would remain there in her shadow until the day I packed my bags and left. I’d never regretted my decision to leave. In fact, I think it was the best decision I’ve ever made—even more so now that I’d found myself on the back of Rafe’s bike again. When we pulled up to my apartment, Rafe got off his bike and followed me up to the door. He stepped over to me as he asked, “You okay? You seem a little distracted or something.”
“Sorry about that. I guess I had a lot on my mind.”
I wasn’t surprised when Rafe pushed, “You guess?”
“I have a lot on my mind.”
“I know how that can be.” He leaned in a little closer. “I’ve had something on my mind all damn day to the point it’s become a problem.”
“Oh, really? And what, might I ask, would that be?”