All I could muster was a slight nod and “Mm-hmm.”
His smirk quickly faded as he looked down at me sprawled out on the bed, and then he said, “You’re amazing, Marlowe. Absolutely amazing.”
Before I had time to respond, he was back on top of me, centering himself between my legs. He hovered over me, the heat of our breaths mingling between us. When the anticipation became too much, his mouth crashed down around mine with a hard, demanding kiss. His hand dove into my hair, grasping at the nape of my neck as he delved deeper into my mouth, our tongues twisting and tasting each other with all the passion and desire we’d kept bottled up since the first night we’d met.
Before I could pull myself back to reality, he shifted his body between my legs. He looked down at me, his eyes full of desire as he raked his hard cock along my entrance, driving me wild with need. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I begged, “Please, Rafe.”
A deep growl vibrated through his chest as he answered my plea and drove deep inside. I was totally unprepared for the searing pain and ended up gasping with a pained grimace. Caught off-guard by my reaction, Rafe’s eyes met mine as he searched for answers that I wasn’t ready to give. “Marlowe?”
He’d just realized it was my first time, and I was too scared to look him in the eye. I felt so awkward and ashamed that I hadn’t told him, but it wasn’t something you just threw out there. Most women my age had plenty of experience, and I was a little embarrassed that I hadn’t been with a man before. And to be honest, once we started kissing and peeling off each other’s clothes, I’d gotten pretty worked up and didn’t want to stop. Hoping he wouldn’t shut me down, I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him in place. “I’m fine, Rafe.”
“Fuck, Marlowe.” He brushed a loose strand of my hair from my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Don’t make a big deal of this,” I whispered. “Please, just keep going.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” I told him, doing my best to reassure him. I needed him to know that I trusted him and knew he’d never intentionally hurt me. “I want this with you.” I placed my hand on his cheek. “I’ve wanted it since the first night you kissed me.”
After several moments, Rafe finally began to move, slow and tender, giving me time to adjust to the feeling of him inside me. His eyes were locked on mine, searching for any sign that I was in any kind of pain. I wasn’t. The discomfort had already subsided, and my body had slowly started to respond to him as tingles of excitement crept over me. I found myself craving more. I wanted him to stop holding back and let go. I wanted him to give me all he had. I lifted my hips, trying to encourage him to go deeper, harder, but he continued his slow, gentle rhythm.
I tightened my legs around his waist and rocked against him, hoping he’d finally give me what I so desperately needed. When he pulled back, I cried out, “Rafe, please!”
“Damn. You’re so fucking tight,” he moaned as he ground his hips against mine. A deep growl echoed through the room as he finally gave in and thrust deep inside me. Each move he made was more intense than the last. My eyes clenched shut and my head fell back as he continued to increase his rhythm. Chills ran down the back of my spine when he raked his teeth over my nipple, then pulled it into his mouth.
Every nerve in my body was reacting to his touch. My breath quickened, and the muscles in my stomach constricted as the intensity of my orgasm built within me. A deep groan vibrated through my throat as he continued with his relentless rhythm. I fought to catch my breath as a wave of pleasure crashed over me, and my orgasm took hold. I was lost in a daze of ecstasy, completely consumed with the heat of desire when he drove into me one last time, finally reaching his own release.
The sounds of our ragged breaths filled the room as Rafe tossed his condom in the trash, then collapsed down on the bed next to me. We both lay there in silence for several moments before he rolled over on his side to face me. Every muscle in my body relaxed when he reached over and started to trail the tips of his fingers along my arm. I knew he was worried, so I smiled and tried to ease his concern as I whispered, “That was amazing.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, really. You don’t have to worry.”
“I wish you would’ve told me. I would’ve taken my time with you...made sure you were ready.”
“I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, Rafe. I still don’t.”
“The fact that you don’t want to talk about it is what bothers me, Marlowe.” His eyes narrowed. “I don’t want you feeling like you have to keep secrets from me. That’s not what this is about.”
“I’m not keeping secrets, Rafe.” I felt like I was sinking into a pit of quicksand. Nothing I said seemed to come out right. “I was just a little embarrassed about it and didn’t know how to tell you. That’s all.”
“You can tell me anything. The good, the bad, and the ugly.” He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. “I want to know it all.”
“Well, my life has been pretty mundane, so that should take all of about two seconds.”
“Oh, no. I don’t think so.” He cocked his eyebrow with a sexy grin. “You’re the one who just up and moved from San Antonio to Tennessee without having a clue what you were going to do when you got here. There has to be a reason why.”
“I’ve already told you, it’s complicated.”
“I’m okay with complicated.”
“Let’s just say things weren’t exactly good at home.” I didn’t want it to sound like I’d grown up in an abusive home, so I quickly added, “It wasn’t that I wasn’t well taken care of or whatever. I just never really felt like I mattered, if that makes sense.”
A strange expression crossed his face as he asked, “You didn’t feel like you mattered? To who? Your family?”
“To my parents. My sister. My friends. Not to anyone. Everyone was too wrapped up in my sister to even notice me.” My eyes drifted away from him as I mumbled, “I know that makes me sound awful, but you’d just have to see it for yourself to understand.”
“You’re incredible, Marlowe. You shouldn’t ever have been made to feel like you were second to anyone.”
“I wish my parents felt like that. Even once. It would’ve made all the difference in the world.” I could feel myself becoming emotional, and I didn’t want that to happen. Not tonight. Not after sharing my first time with him. Hoping for an escape, I sat up in the bed and eased the covers back. “I think I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ll be right back.”
Before he had a chance to protest, I got up and went into the bathroom. I turned on the water, and before giving it a chance to warm up, I stepped inside and let the cold water cascade down my back. I tried to push away those hurtful memories that were trying to force themselves back into my mind. I might not have been successful if Rafe hadn’t stepped into the shower behind me. He slipped his arms around my waist and eased me close as he whispered, “You okay?”
“Better now.” I leaned my head back resting it on his shoulder. “In case you didn’t notice, I have a hard time talking about my family.”