Fight for a better, brighter day. A day where those million pieces of your heart and life, the million pieces of you, can slowly but surely start coming back together.
I believe you are strong enough.
I believe in you.
With love,
Emma xxxx
If you or someone you know has been affected by any of the issues raised in this book, please remember you’re not alone.
The following organizations might help:
The Samaritans (www.samaritans.org) are there if you need someone to talk to. Completely confidential and supportive, the Samaritans are available to listen twenty-four hours a day. Call free, any time, from any phone: 116 123.
You could also call Childline on 0800 1111.
YoungMinds (www.youngminds.org.uk) supports young people’s mental health and has a good section on understanding your feelings and how to get help.
Mind (www.mind.org.uk) has an A–Z of mental health with information on a wide range of conditions and details of various treatment options. There are also lots of case studies, plus self-care tips.
If you’d like to find a counsellor, the following links to associations of accredited counsellors in your area might help:
UK Council for Psychotherapy – https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk
British Psychological Society – www.bps.org.uk
The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy – https://www.bacp.co.uk
You might also consider approaching your GP, who may be able to tell you about local services that can help.
For more resources, including useful books and things that I’ve found helpful for anxiety, please visit my website.
I was very young when I discovered the power of stories. How they allow us to travel without moving our feet. How they can transform us, and make us feel less alone. How they can save us. So it’s such a privilege to be able to tell one of my own, and I’m truly thankful to the wonderful people who have helped make that happen.
First and foremost, my heartfelt thanks to editor extraordinaire Naomi Colthurst. You have made my journey to publication so special. Thank you for your love for this book from the very start. Thank you for handling Neena (and me!) with such care and attention. Thank you for believing in us. This book is what it is thanks to you.
And a very big thank-you to my super agent, the incredible Jo Unwin. Your enthusiasm for Neena’s story – and your endless support and wisdom – means so much. There’s no one I’d rather have in my corner.
To the whole team at Penguin Random House Children’s, but especially: Andrea Kearney, you designed the perfect cover for Neena and I can’t thank you enough; Shreeta Shah, you have been a dream copy-editor, thank you for your careful notes and suggestions; Jasmine and Michael, my very own dream team, I am so lucky to have you two by my side through publication. Special thanks to Siena Parker and everyone involved in the brilliant WriteNow scheme. To my fellow mentees: what a privilege to share this journey with such a talented bunch! Nazneen Ahmed, thank you for reading an early copy and for your kind words. And an extra big thank-you to Ruth Knowles: this journey began with you, and I honestly couldn’t think of a better home for Neena than PRH Children’s.
I have many ridiculously talented writer friends who have supported me: I’m grateful to you all. But I have to say a special thank-you to a few. Dr Sharon Lewis, I can’t quite express how special your friendship is and how much it means to me. Thank you for reading, for your endless support, for your professional advice and for your constant generosity. I’d be lost without you. And Abi Lown, I could not wish for a kinder writing buddy: thank you for all the last-minute reading, the pep talks and your brilliant insights. More than anything, thank you for always being there. To my small but wonderful writing group, Sanjida Kay and Claire Snook, for all your encouragement, feedback and wisdom, especially in the early days. You ladies helped me stop procrastinating and get Neena’s story down on paper in the best way that I could. Thank you. And to Ali Reynolds, thank you for believing so fiercely that I could do this. Sometimes people come into your life at just the right time; this was one of those times.
Thank you, dear Dr Bekki Stone, for reading (more than once!), for understanding so completely, for supporting me so generously and for giving me your professional thoughts. Any mistakes are my own. Your passion for this book has meant so much – and your friendship has kept me going through my own tough times, for which I’ll always be thankful.
To my brilliant Bristol writing group: Tannith, Harriet, Ken, Kate and everyone else, thank you for always being there and for championing the early chapters of this book. You are all wildly talented and I look forward to sharing bookshelves with you.
Over the years, I’ve been incredibly lucky to have some outstanding writing teachers. Thank you, all of you. But special thanks to David Morley for being the first to tell me I was a writer and setting me on this path, and to Maureen Freely for the words that made all the difference at a time when I needed them. Richard Kerridge, Mimi Thebo, Lucy English and Glenn Carmichael – your encouragement has meant so much.
It’s been such a pleasure to have met the Nineteen Newbies on this journey. Aisha Bushby, thank you for sharing my excitement when the good things began happening and for all your advice in the early days. And a very special thank-you to Yasmin Rahman for being my sounding board when I barely knew you, and for your generous sensitivity-read and boundless enthusiasm for this book. I’m so glad Neena found her way to you, and that I did too.
To my wonderful family: where do I start? Thank you for your unwavering belief in me and for all your support. Son and Sim, for all the endless chats, the coffees, and for dreaming with me. Kit, for all your thoughts and excitement at every stage. Dad, thank you for filling the house with poetry and your stories when we were growing up, and not even realizing the impact they had. Thank you, dear Mum, for helping us believe that anything is possible, and for showing us that too. And to my Nano, who is no longer here – but who lives on, fiercely and wildly, in all of us. I will be forever grateful for everything you taught me simply by being you. My very own Akash – with me wherever I go. My dear family, thank you for having such big hearts, and for teaching me to grow mine again after things were hard. You are, all of you, an inspiration.
And, last but not least, to my loves Oli and Benji. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oli, you have shared my dreams and joined me on this adventure, and it’s been such a privilege to share it with you. And thank you, my darling Benji, for making my dreams bigger. You are so strong and unbelievably kind, and you inspire me every day. You are both my world.