I pull away, though, because I don't want to be creepy after he's shown me he's not interested. Smiling, I reach for my utensils again and pick at my own food.
We eat in silence.
I hate silence. I get enough of that alone. I think about what he said, that ration bars are his home cooking, and I have to ask. "Your mother served you ration bars?" It seems a shitty way to bring up a kid, but what do I know about alien society? Even though my last owner was mesakkah, he was also very elderly and didn't talk much about his childhood. Surely it can't hurt to ask.
Rektar goes still. His big throat works, and he swallows hard.
Shit. "I'm sorry. Did I ask something inappropriate?"
He shakes his head. "Not at all. It is just…my past is shameful. I was born a bastard to a lesser house. My mother gave me up shortly after birth so I would not bring shame to their name. My family name is al'Aira'n because I served at al'Aira Base when I was growing up. The enunciation at the end tells that it is a name assigned by my unit, not given at birth." His polite smile is faint. "It is a shameful thing and one that most do not bring up."
"I'm so sorry. I really stepped in it, didn't I?"
"Not at all." He pokes at his food, as if hesitant to eat any more. "But now you know why I am out here on Risda III."
"Because you're a bastard?"
Rektar nods. "No matter how well I perform as a soldier, I will only be able to rise so far due to the stain of my birth. This was not a post any logical male would want, so it was assigned to me."
Jeez. "What about Khex? Is he a bastard too?"
He chuckles. "No. I had a good record but a bad name, and so I am here. Khex has a bad record and a good name."
"So he's a naughty boy?" I say, smiling. "And you're the good guy?"
"Something like that." Rektar's smile widens.
My heart aches at the sight of it, because he really is handsome. I love his big, broad features and his shy smile. It doesn't surprise me that he's one that plays by all the rules. I feel bad that life hasn't been fair to him, but then again, it hasn't been all that fair to me, either. Thinking about Khex brings me to a good segue, though. I pick up the last of the tahaari pie, which seems to be his favorite, and dish it onto his plate. I don't blame him for liking it—it's a bit like the sweet potato pie from home, but with a slightly spicier zing to it. It's one of my favorites to make, and normally I'd eat a lot more of it, but for now, I like feeding him. "So…about Khex. Is he…single?"
"He does not have a mate, if that is what you are asking."
"Got his eye on anyone in particular on Risda?"
"Not that I am aware of?" He stares down at the last piece of pie in his plate and then looks up at me. "Why do you ask?"
Time to lay it all out on the table. "Because I think I need a husband," I state point-blank. "And I was wondering if he was up for the job."
7
REKTAR
I am good at hiding my emotions, for the most part. A lifetime of military service and of never having anything to claim for my own has allowed me to mask when I am angry or upset. I finish eating Lucy's fine dinner, make conversation with her, and then I excuse myself back out to the barn for the night, all the while managing to somehow keep it together.
In reality, I am seething with jealousy.
Khex. She wants to know if Khex is available for her to mate with. I like Khex—he is impossible not to like with his easygoing nature—but right now, I want to punch him for stealing Lucy's heart.
I want Lucy for myself. I want that female to look at me with adoration. I want her to wear her low-cut tunics to bed with me. I want to eat her fine meals and wake up with her in my arms. I want to hear her joyous laughter every day. I want all these things…and she wants Khex.
It must be because I am a bastard. Not for the first time, I curse my lot in life and the noble parents that gave me up without giving their names. I have never been wanted. I am used to that. But I have also never wanted anything as much as I want Lucy. It's hard to believe that she is willing to mate with an alien…and she has her sights on Khex.
To say I am disappointed is an understatement.
Of course she wants him. He is tall and strong and comes from a decent family. He is easy to get along with and has a smile for everyone. He talks easily with others and never worries that he frightens them. Meanwhile I have massive hands and arms, and some of the females in town cross the street when they see me. I am too large to make them comfortable.
I would never hurt Lucy. Never.
Fighting back my bitter disappointment, I head out to the barn. The meat-stock are out in the field because the weather is mild, and the only scents here are those of old hay and machinery…and Lucy's laundry. The primal scent of her clothing feeds into my aching need for her and I can resist no longer. I tug at my belt, loosening it, and then undo the front of my trou, shoving them down to my knees. When my cock springs free, I grab it and stroke hard, imagining Lucy's smile. Her sweet, sweet smile.
Then, I remember that I have her undergarments.
I pull them out of the hidden pocket I have them stashed in and bring them to my nose. They are full of her musk, rich and ripe, and I shudder all over with the scent of her. Nothing has ever smelled so perfect. With a groan, I take another deep whiff and then bring the silky fabric to my cock.
And I begin to work myself with it. Her scent is all over my skin now, and if I close my eyes, I can almost imagine it is her hand on my shaft, her cunt that is clasping around my length instead of my fingers, her—
"Before you go to bed, I thought I'd bring you some blankets," Lucy calls out, just as the barn door opens.
My eyes widen and I go still.
Trapped.
It's too late to do anything, though. I am caught, my hand on my cock, her clothing being used for shameful things.
Lucy stands in the doorway, staring at me. I know how it must look, with my hand on my length and my trou around my knees as I stand in the middle of her barn. I look like a fool—or worse, a pervert. Even so, I cannot help but stare at her dusky pink mouth and how her lips part when she gazes at me.
Nor can I help that I stroke my cock again at the sight of her. It is instinctive.
"Oh. Rektar." Her gaze flicks between my face and then my cock and then back to my face again. "I'm…interrupting?"
I shake my head, mortified. "You are not. I should not be…" I let my words trail off, because what can I say? I should not be touching myself? I should not be stealing her underclothes? I should not be standing in her barn with my trou at my knees while she is worried about her safety? That my jealousy over her affection for Khex is making me mad with need?
Truly, I am the worst of males.
Her gaze slides to my cock again and her brows knit together. "Are those my panties?"
I open my mouth, but only a strange sound comes out. No words.
She chuckles, the sound low and sultry, and takes a step forward. Then another, and then she is standing in front of me, all the while I am frozen and unable to move. I watch in stunned silence as she puts a hand lightly on my chest, a thoughtful expression on her face, and then she looks up at me. Smiles.