She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “Jason, it is so obvious how much you love her.”
“But how did you know all of those things?”
She chuckles, clearly amused, but not maliciously. “Because I know love. What I don’t know is if you are going to do anything about it.”
I shake my head. “She deserves better than me.”
“Of course she does. All men are idiots when it comes to expressing their feelings. Don’t be a stereotype, Jason. What she truly deserves is a man who lets her make her own damn decisions and doesn’t tell her what she does and doesn’t need.”
“You don’t understand.” I blow out a breath. “There are things about me that you don’t know.”
It’s her turn to hold up her hand. “And I don’t need to. That’s between you and Sam.”
Her words are like a kick to my gut. Especially in light of what Cade told me—that Sam already knew about my history. But, even if that were true, even if she doesn’t care that I’m a criminal, Sam still deserves someone better than me. Someone who hasn’t already hurt her.
I scrub a hand on the back of my neck. “I’ve been such an ass to her. In my efforts to stay away to keep her away from me, I was a dick to her. She didn’t even think I liked her.”
“Will you treat her well?”
“Of course,” I say automatically. Jesus, if I had a chance with Sam, in a real relationship, I’d do everything I could to make her happy. “What I did already … I never imagined that that would hurt her. I was trying to protect her from me.”
“You were being the big strong man and deciding what was best for her.” Poppy gives an exaggerated eye roll. “Stop doing that. She’s a strong woman. She’s smart and accomplished and so talented. She doesn’t need you to make choices for her. And I feel certain when I say that if you don’t treat her right or you act like an arse, she will be the first to tell you that.”
“So how am I supposed to convince her now that I love her? That I want to be with her even recognizing that she deserves better?”
“Make a grand gesture.”
“What?”
“You know at the end of every romantic comedy and romance novel there is a grand gesture. The big sweeping gesture from one character—the one who has fucked up—that tells the other character how much they love them, how they want to be with them, how they’re sorry for being said fuckup and it won’t happen again.”
Poppy grins at me, she’s got one of those pleasing faces, just round and happy with a gap between her two front teeth. “Now buck up, Casanova, because she’s heading back to the table.”
Sam’s all smiles when she sits back down, this time on the other side of me. “I’m gonna be an aunt. Rachel’s pregnant.”
“Well that’s brilliant, congratulations Auntie Sam,” Poppy says. Then she glances at me and winks, then gives an exaggerated yawn. “I’m actually quite tired, love. The jet lag you know. I think I’ll just pop on back to the hotel and get a good night’s sleep. Think you can finish this celebration without me?”
Sam frowns at her friend. “Are you sure? Because there’s no reason to let this asshole scare you off.”
Poppy chuckles. “I’m positive. And Jason and I are good friends now, aren’t we?”
I nod quickly. “Yes.”
Poppy looks at Noah. “Do you think you could give me a ride to The Montgomery?”
“Sure darlin’, I’d love to,” he says. He stands and holds his arm out to her.
Sam points a finger at Noah. “Make sure she’s safe. Poppy, please text me when you get to your room.”
“Of course I will. Jason, it was nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Sam stands and I grab her hand, then stand next to her. “Where are you going?”
“I want to go home.”
“I’ll take you. I know your car is still in the shop.”
“I’m angry with you,” she hisses.
“I can see that. It’s fucking hot.”
She spins around and pokes a finger into my chest. “No, we’re not playing that game. I told you I don’t want to be your secret.”
“I know that.” Staring down into her beautiful face, I almost can’t breathe. Sam is everything I’ll ever want. Everything it feels like I can’t have. And despite what her friend said, there’s a good chance I’ve already fucked this up too much and that she won’t forgive me.
All I know is that if there’s any chance—any chance at all—that I haven’t fucked this up beyond repair, then I have to go for it. I have to try.
Now that I’ve had Sam, there’s no way I could go back to living without her. Not willingly, not without fighting for her.
“Come’er,” I tell her. “I need to show you something.” I drag her to the long wooden bar across the room. I nod to the owner, Luke. “You can charge me later if I break anything,” I tell him. His brows rise, but he doesn’t say anything. “Please just stay right here,” I tell Sam.
Then I climb up onto the barstool and step onto the bar. I have to position myself so I’m between some of the hanging glass racks so I don’t actually break anything.
“Can I have everyone’s attention?” I yell.
Someone taps a spoon against a glass. Ding, ding. Ding. I glance up and realize it’s Gabe still sitting with the rest of our coworkers.
The bar finally quiets enough. “Yeah, um, I’m Jason and I have an announcement to make.”
“What are you doing?” Sam hisses at me. She grabs onto the bottom of my pants and tugs on me.
I just smile at her.
“I have been nothing but a complete ass to this beautiful woman standing in front of me. Samantha, wave at all the people. And I did it for stupid reasons, trying to protect her. Someone dropped some wisdom on me tonight, told me that it’s not my job to make decisions for Sam, that she’s a capable enough woman to do that herself.”
I look down at Sam, at her lovely face, glowing with residual happiness from her sister’s call. I want her to glow like that because of me. “The truth is,” I take a deep breath. “The truth is I love you. I’m wildly in love with you. I’ve sniffed shampoo bottles for you. And I know I don’t deserve you, but I still want a chance with you. I want to be with you. I want the opportunity to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You’re already the last thought I have before I fall asleep at night and the first one when I wake up. Now I want to have those thoughts in the same room with you. The same bed.”
Wolf whistles sound throughout the bar.
“I guess that’s all. Thanks for listening.” I jump down and the room is still mostly quiet.
Once I’m face-to-face with her I can see unshed tears shining in her pretty eyes. “I’m not fucking ashamed of you. I’m ashamed of me. But you knew all along, didn’t you? Knew that I had a criminal record.”
She swallows visibly. “Of course, I knew. I know about all of y’all’s secrets. And the special skills. I couldn’t do my job effectively if I didn’t know.”