They drove the first few minutes in silence, each of them thinking about the space between them, about the reasons that they’d exploded. Lola knew that she was shit scared. She had miraculously found someone who made her entire body tingle all over just by being in the same space as her, somebody who made her glance at the clock compulsively just because she looked forward to seeing him, to talking to him. And he doesn’t want me. She frowned at the lie. She knew that he wanted her, had felt the lust radiating off him as much as it had off her. So, why then, was she so darned afraid that he wasn’t in as deep as she was?
“I’m sorry,” he began again, “about how I phrased what I said earlier.”
“Jacob, it’s fine.” She felt awkward, stupid because she knew that she had also completely overreacted to his bad mood.
“It’s not. I really have been distracted and you really are the reason,” he said, bringing her head up with a sharp jerk. Holding up a hand to silence her, he added, “But that’s not your fault. It’s mine. And coupled with the fact that I emotionally traumatized a ten-year-old today, I was just…mad.”
She touched his arm gently. “I’m also sorry.” The words were hard for her to say, but she ground them out anyway.
They sat in silence the rest of the way and when he pulled into her parking space a few minutes later, she felt her mind begin to relax. Turning, she grabbed her purse off the seat, fished around inside until she’d found her keys.
“I’m sorry for…manhandling you.”
“Thanks.” She kept her reply short because she felt the blush rush to her cheeks. She’d never tell him that she had quite liked the view from her position over his shoulder.
Hopping out of the SUV without saying more, she closed the car door behind her, walked over to the stairs. She knew that he followed close behind her because the skin on the back of her neck pulled tight. Oh my God! Stop! She would not, under any circumstances, be the reason that he felt like he couldn’t do his job.
Distracted, she reached for the door without looking, just as Jake said, “Lola, don’t!”
Pausing, her keys mid-air, she turned to look at him, saw that he was frowning down at the lock, and glanced to where his eyes were focused. Her vision narrowed and she felt her heart stop in her chest. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she felt herself give in to the scream that she wanted to let loose. No! Please, no.
At that moment, she felt entirely removed from her body. Numb to the point where she didn’t hear Jacob talking to her until he reached out a hand and touched her arm, forcing her eyes back to his and off the mangled lock on her front door.
“I’m here.” When he gently nudged her aside, she moved without any additional prompting. She knew that he didn’t have his gun on him because they had talked about the fact that it might scare Jordan Holt before they had left that morning. She had seen him unload it and lock it in the box that he kept stored in her kitchen cupboard since moving in.
He gently pushed the door, careful not to touch the doorknob, but the door didn’t budge. “It looks like the lock held,” he said, quietly. “But somebody definitely tried to break in.”
“Let me go and ask my landlord to open it for us.” She would not give in to the fear that she felt dancing on the end of her mind. If she could just focus on a task, she could pretend that nothing had happened, that nothing was currently out of the ordinary…that everything was fine.
“Let me come with you. I don’t want you going alone.”
“He could still be here?”
“Unlikely, but it’s not worth the risk.”
Nodding mutely, she marched back down the stairs, desperately trying not to think about the fact that she could have been home alone. It was early afternoon on a Sunday and had they not had their out-of-routine meeting with Jordan Holt, she most certainly would have been.
When she knocked on her landlord’s door, Jacob came to stand beside her and without saying anything, gently took her hand in his. She didn’t pull away despite her promise that she’d give him space because it felt so good just to have the contact, just to feel his skin against hers and know that if anyone wanted to protect her, if anyone could protect her, it was Jacob Simmone.
Chapter 15
By the time Sunday evening rolled around, the police were swarming the little complex, their lively chatter breaking what was usually such a peaceful and quiet spot. Lola sat on the little patch of grass in the courtyard, enjoying the sunshine with Matt while Jacob oversaw the team that had come to try and lift any evidence from her mangled lock. When Matt asked her what was going on, she told him, but only because she was too tired to lie.
He sat quietly as she went through the whole story, his eyes slowly growing wider as he listened. “You should have told me,” he said when she was done. Lola couldn’t face the hurt in his voice. She looked away when he added, “I would have come over. I would have stayed.”
“I didn’t want to burden you, Matt. And…I didn’t know that it was anything serious at the time.”
Nugget cuddled up to her leg and flopped over onto her back, exposing her belly to Lola. She absently rubbed the dog’s stomach, smiling when the terrier groaned in contentment and closed her eyes.
“So, are you actually dating the cop?”
She looked up at him. He’d roped his long, corded arms loosely over his shins, and even in the blue jeans and white tee-shirt that he wore, he looked like he should be in an ad for Hurley. “It’s…complicated,” she said finally.
“But?”
She tapped his shoe with her own, trying desperately to relieve the resigned tone of his voice. “There’s something there that we’re trying to figure out. It’s just been…hard with the case ongoing. Apparently, or at least according to Jake, there’s some grey area with us dating while the investigation is open.”
Nodding silently, he took her hand in his, linked their fingers in a way she found comforting, not sexual, and she wondered how he’d intended it until he said, “I see the way that you look at him. The way that he looks at you.” When she blushed and turned away, he dropped her hand, caught her chin in his hand, and turned her face back to his. “I’m happy for you. For both of you.”
Even though his own eyes were sad, Lola felt immense relief. “Thank you.”
A voice cleared behind her and they both turned to find Jacob glaring down at them. Where Matt grinned, she felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Oh, fantastic.
“The apartment’s been processed,” he said calmly. Too calmly. “It’s yours again.”
She cast a glance behind him and noticed that the police vehicles had all left. Standing, she upset Nugget who snorted and waddled over to snuggle up to Matt’s thigh but not before sending her a slanted look.
“See you soon, Lola,” Matt said, still grinning up at her.
“Bye, Matt.”
She followed Jacob up the stairs, very aware of the fact that he didn’t look at her, or even acknowledge that she was there at all.
When they stepped into the apartment, he closed the door behind them and slipped the deadbolt into place. Lola felt her breath catch in her throat at the sound, a solid grate of metal on metal that made her heart pound faster in her chest. “Are you okay?” she asked, seeing that he still wouldn’t look at her, choosing instead to pace back and forth in the ten linear feet alongside his mattress.