The back of my legs bump the bed and I sit down, Elliot’s hands leaving my body as he stands over me. I feel his eyes on me and I look up at him. He watches me, his eyes never leaving my face and I can see all the desire in his eyes.
“Nora,” Elliot murmurs, “I thought I wanted you back that night on the beach but nothing compares to this moment right now.”
My heart begins to flutter in my chest at his words and once again, just like when we first met, I’m overcome by the situation, totally affected by him. Elliot’s body covers mine and I tangle my hands in his hair, pulling him closer, showing him I feel the same way.
My body melts into his, as his hips press against mine, feeling exactly how he feels about this moment as I slide my underwear down. His lips are everywhere, leaving my skin hot and wanting more, and without stopping him, I reach for a condom in my nightstand.
I hear the foil being ripped open, my eyes are closed and when he enters me, I let out a soft moan. It’s a moment I’ve longed for, that I’ve waited for, and it couldn’t be more perfect.
The room is shrouded in darkness and again the only sound filling it is the sound of the ceiling fan spinning above, matched with our calm, slow breaths. My body is curled around Elliot’s and the warmth and smell of his skin comforts me. Elliot runs his fingers softly up and down my back. There’s so much simplicity in his gesture, yet so much comfort.
I had no idea something so pure and perfect could exist with someone I hardly know. The ease of being with him and the level of comfort I have is something I’ve worked toward with other people, but with Elliot, it’s natural. While this is what I’ve wanted for so long, I can’t even begin to fathom how we will make this work. What if it fails? What if I lose him all over again?
“Go to sleep, Nora,” he whispers in my ear, his voice like a melody that replays in my head. “This time we’ll be together when you wake up.”
My thoughts fade as I feel Elliot trace my tattoo with his finger and as he whispers, “Write what you love,” I fall asleep in Elliot’s arms.
The next morning, I wake up with Elliot next to me and I smile. He’s awake, just lying there watching me sleep. It’s still early, but I don’t care. I want to spend as much time with him as I can. We both know eventually he’s going to have to leave.
“How long have you been up?” I ask, my voice hoarse with sleep and still tired from the events of last night. The light from the sun is beaming through the windows, basking the room in warmth, but it doesn’t compare to the feeling of Elliot’s body next to mine.
“Maybe an hour,” he says shrugging his shoulders slightly before leaning over and kissing me softly.
“My day doesn’t get much better than this,” I murmur against his lips and I feel him smile. “Can we stay here forever?”
Elliot laughs and pulls me on top of him and now I’m laughing too. Straddling his hips, I press my lips to his with a smile still plastered on my face. As much as I’ve wanted this, dreamed about it, searched for Elliot, this isn’t real life. We have lives that exist without each other. He lives in Chicago and I live in New York. I finally have the career I’ve longed for all my life and judging by the way he speaks, the way he’s dressed, he’s become successful in what he does. It all brings me back to not knowing anything about each other.
“Can we really do this?” I ask and he furrows his brow at me, his hands resting on my hips. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and I can see him processing what we’re doing here and if it will even work.
He smiles at me, a genuine honest smile and says, “Of course we can.” He’s completely confident in his answer as if this is the answer to everything his life has been missing. That I’m the reason he was put on this Earth. I want to have his confidence, I want to want things the way he does, but growing up, I know happiness can be taken from you and life and relationships take work and effort and more than anything…time. And right now, time isn’t something that we have. We have more obstacles than open space.
“Forever the optimist,” I say, my fingers running up the length of his body, starting at his hips and letting my fingers linger along his ribs. I don’t want him to know I’m second-guessing this. It’s just me being negative and after all my searches and all my time spent never finding him, I feel like this must be a dream. That at some point it will all disappear.
“It’s easy, Nora,” Elliot says, simply and confidently, his hand cupping the back of my neck. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’ll do whatever we need to make this work.”
He sits up and my legs wrap around his waist. His confidence is infectious and I have to have faith that what I felt for him all those years ago and what I still feel now is true and real, and deep inside I know I love him.
It doesn’t stop me from thinking this entire thing is damn crazy. I’m still running through a whole series of emotions, but right now I’m feeling euphoric and excited and strangely free.
“I have someone I want you to meet,” I tell him, kissing the tip of his nose and he smiles at me.
An hour later we are standing outside the door to Alice and James’ apartment, hitting the buzzer several times but still getting no response. I sent Alice a text before we left my house, and she sent an indignant response about it being too fucking early. I didn’t tell her why I was coming over and I’m not sure why, I guess I wanted it to be as much of a surprise to her as it was to me. She’s lived through it with me and has helped me cope all this time.
I give her a few more minutes before I use my key to enter her building and Elliot and I climb the stairs to her third floor walk-up. We’re standing at the door to her unit as I raise my hand to knock, Elliot takes hold of my elbow stopping me.
“Who lives here?” he asks, an indecisive look on his face as if I’m about to barge into someone’s apartment I don’t know.
“You’ll see,” I respond, giving him a wink. “She’ll be pissed, but she’ll get over it. She owes me anyway after dealing with years of her bullshit.”
“Nora,” he says, this time firmly, like the tone in his voice might make me rethink my idea of waking someone up and it makes me laugh. “It’s only eight-thirty and obviously this person isn’t interested in getting up right now. We can come back later.”
“Relax,” I tell him, letting out an annoyed huff at his insistence. And this time I pound my closed fist against the black lacquer door with Elliot standing behind me.
When Alice doesn’t answer, I hit the door again and call her name. The black door stands out among a series of neutrally painted doors in her hallway and I shake my head a little, thinking the door fits Alice perfectly.
“Alice, open the damn door or I’m going to let myself in,” I practically yell, but still attempt to keep my voice down out of respect for her neighbors.
A few seconds later I hear movement in the apartment followed by feet shuffling along the floor, and I turn and give Elliot a quick grin.
The lock on the door clicks and that’s when Alice begins muttering and swearing at me under her breath as she flings the door open. She doesn’t even look up as she stands there with sheet marks on her face and her hair a mess, wearing an oversized t-shirt and her underwear.