Anya’s better at looking innocent, but Zac has an adorable child in his arms and isn’t afraid to use him. “Look at PJ all sleepy,” he says, and Cal’s expression softens even as he shakes his head at Zac’s methods. Doesn’t matter. Cal can know what Zac’s doing all day long—won’t keep it from working.
It’s quiet for a moment as Cal steals a sip of Anya’s herbal tea, one big hand cupping PJ’s foot in its yellow Big Bird sock, and then Zac and Anya blurt in unison, “So did you buy the tickets or not?”
Cal’s eyebrow wings up, and he pointedly takes another long sip of tea, punishing them both. Zac pokes him in the side until he caves and says, “I did.”
“Yes!” Anya hisses under her breath, because no amount of rubbing it in is worth getting a sleepy toddler all riled up right before bedtime. She stabs a finger in Zac’s direction. “Eat it!”
Zac huffs a breath, glaring at Cal. “Really? You had to do this to me?”
“Yes, I did it to you, all to make you suffer.” Cal glances heavenward as if asking for help from a higher power.
“Don’t you dare try to renege either,” Anya tells Zac.
Zac gives her a dirty look. “I’m offended. You’re offensive. I would never. Never.”
Cal sighs. “I think I’m crazy. This is a terrible idea. They’re not going to understand. I want to go, I really do, but this is asking for trouble, isn’t it?”
“There’s no easy way out,” Zac says, because he’s a smart, wise person, regardless of what Anya says. “If you want them in your life, though, you can’t do it halfway. You suck at lying, and the stress of hiding it is going to make you want to relapse.”
“They’ll either take us as we are, or they won’t.” Anya leans over as best she can, making a soft grunting noise as she shifts her belly around. She presses her cheek against Cal’s shoulder. “But even if they won’t, it doesn’t make what we have any less real. You’ll still have us.”
“I know.” He smiles down at her. He takes her hand, kisses the back of her wrist. “I do know. Now. I was happy before my mother called me and started all this. I can be happy without them again. I just want them to understand. I want to believe they’re the kind of people who will try to understand. It’s not a test...except that it is. It’s not one I’m giving them, but it’s a test all the same, and I want them to pass it.”
“I hope they will,” Anya says.
“They will,” Zac says. There’s no doubt in his mind. “We have grandchildren to throw at them. One of them is adorable when he isn’t being a tantrum-throwing little s-h-i-t, and the other one they’ll be able to see from scratch. They’ll think it’s weird, and they’ll probably get all hung up on whether Cal’s the biological dude for PJ or the squirt—”
“Stop calling her squirt, for the love of all that is holy—” Anya moans.
“—the squirt, who is a he, a he-squirt, because we’re going to name him Harvey so that we can get the whole thing in the family—”
Cal laughs. “That’s what PJ stands for? You named him after PJ Harvey?”
“Who’d you think we named him after?” Zac asks.
“I don’t know. I figured it was a family name. That the J stood for Junior.”
“What are we, normals? We’re rock stars. These children are lucky they’re not being named after vegetables.”
“It’s a girl,” Anya interrupts. “We can name her Harvey if you want to, though.”
“Deal,” Zac says. “Anyway—”
“Hold on,” Cal interjects. “Really? A little girl named Harvey?”
“Anyway!” Zac repeats loudly, because he still hasn’t made his point and besides, any girl named Harvey is going to be a badass, legendary punk rock musician and he’ll have none of Cal’s weird, old-fashioned protests about it. He’ll only trigger Anya’s speech about how dumb it is to attach the shape of one’s genitals to the arbitrary mouth-noises used to identify human beings. It’s one of her better speeches, if Zac is honest—there’s a reason Zac has no qualms about his son being legally named Polly Jean—but now is not the time. “Anyway, the Keller grandparents will no doubt ask which of the kids has Cal’s particular set of genes, because they won’t get it at first, and you’ll have to put your big boy panties on, Cal, and not tell them so they can’t get all squirrelly about it.”
“PJ’s mine every bit as much as Harvey is,” Cal says defiantly, to nobody in particular, and Zac leans over and bites his earlobe as a reward.
“So we’ll go. We’ll let them have grandparent feelings.” Zac pulls back, leaving Cal all flustered from getting nibbled on. “And we’ll make them come with us to do stuff with the kids so they can see how not-weird it all is.”
“The zoo,” Anya suggests.
“Not in December in Nebraska,” Cal tells her apologetically.
“Ooh, the museum!” Zac says.
“Better,” Cal says.
“And then they’ll realize that a marriage is less about how many people are in it and more about how happy you are.” Zac nods. It’s the best plan he’s ever come up with, in his humble opinion.
“It sounds so easy,” Cal admits. Anya points at the bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table, and Cal obligingly leans forward to get it for her before adding, “It can’t be that easy.”
“Probably not. We’ll deal.” Zac shrugs.
“Fine. But after this, it’s someone else’s turn to have drama,” Cal says. “I’ve had enough to last for years. I’m tired of being a hassle.”
“You’re not a hassle,” Anya says, and Zac doesn’t know why Cal gets her sweet voice so much more often than Zac does, but he can’t make himself mind. Cal always goes soft and pink when she talks to him that way, and Zac really likes that look on him.
“I mean, you are,” Zac says, full of fake apology, and Cal elbows him. Gently, because PJ’s eyes are falling shut. “But we love you anyway.”
Cal’s expression goes soft. “I love you both too. So much.” He’s super earnest about it, because he’s a goober. Zac rolls his eyes, because that kind of earnestness isn’t rock-and-roll at all, but he can’t help that his chest goes warm and achy at the words all the same.
Cal sees through him, of course, and smiles as he takes Zac’s hand, lets his thumb run over the plain dark-silver band that Zac’s wearing. They decided early on that they would all need new wedding bands to exchange under the trees in their backyard during the simple ceremony they shared for this new marriage. Not that Anya and Zac disliked the ones they had. But they wanted Cal to see that he wasn’t merely an addition to their existing marriage—he was an integral part of the whole. Anya cried a little at taking her old one off, and Zac almost had too, surprised by how wrong it felt to have a bare hand.