My voice cracks a bit on that last part, and I clear my throat in an attempt to keep my emotions in check. This time, I can’t even blame it on anyone else. These are solely my own, and it’s honestly a little bizarre. The room is overflowing with emotions, yet I feel none of them. Not the sadness that has to be present or the anger at how unfair all of this is. Maybe that’s for the best, because if they all feel as deeply as I do right now, I’d break under the weight of their grief for sure.
Reggie appears in front of the fireplace, and we all sit up straighter, dragging sleeves across our faces and clearing our throats. She takes one look around the room, but rather than some sarcastic remark leaving her lips, she just nods, her brow furrowing as her lips bunch together.
“I’m sorry for interrupting,” she says softly.
“It’s okay, Reg. We were just…” I look at each of my brothers.
“You don’t need to explain. I get it. This isn’t easy for any of us. Not even me. I just got you all back and now…” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Fuck. It sucks not being able to cry.”
“Look,” Cole says, studying Reggie with serious intensity, “if shit hits the fan, we need to know that you’ll be here for Fate. Take care of her and make sure she’s okay. She’s going to need someone by her side.”
“You don’t even need to ask. I’ll always be here. For any of you.”
“Thanks, Reg,” I say softly. “I think it would be a good idea to make sure Nate is available too. He seems like he was close to Fate, and while it fucking pains me to say this, it would be good for her to have someone here to comfort her if the worst happens.”
She nods. “I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”
I take another look around the room. At the men that have been a part of my life for so long that it feels like they’ve always been there. In a way, I guess they have. We have centuries together, even if we can’t remember them, and if this is the end, then at least I can go knowing that I’ve told them what they mean to me.
I refuse to focus much on the future - on all the what ifs playing around in my brain - from this point on. My only goal is to spend whatever time I have left with my little ghost, soaking up as much of her as I can. It may be days or it may be hours. Either way, I’m going to love her with all I have and hope that it’s enough to see her through for eternity. Just in case.
With that final thought, I feel this sense of...warmth envelop me, like maybe the Gateway is giving me a giant hug, and I have to turn away from the guys as I’m suddenly overcome with my own emotions for once, a tear rolling down my cheek.
Aside from an epic orgy, the last seventy-two hours have been a huge disappointment. I know what you’re thinking. My entire unlife seems to be one giant calamity after another. You wouldn’t be wrong.
You hear that, Universe? Even they think it’s time to cut this ghost girl some slack.
Sighing, I spin myself around in my chair. The desk is still untouched, the picture of my guys staring back at me each time I circle round. The note Macklin left for me a hundred years ago sits neatly on top of a stack of books. No one knows what the hell it means, so I’m not even sure why I’ve kept the damn thing. I release another sigh, dropping my head back to stare up at the ceiling while the chair spins.
“You’re going to get sick,” Cole says, suddenly standing in front of my desk. His face is upside down each time my chair does a complete three-sixty, but his scowl is unmistakable from any angle.
“What’s it to you?”
“Who do you think is going to have to clean that shit up?”
“Reggie?”
He just raises that infuriating eyebrow of his as he comes around the desk, placing a hand on the back of my chair to stop its momentum.
When I lift my head, Cole is crouching down in front of me. “Love, we’re running out of time.”
I study the man before me. Sure, he’s still scowling and he’s still an asshole most of the time, but my soul practically melts from his nearness. Everything he’s feeling washes over me, and it’s so jumbled and chaotic that I have to take a deep breath or seriously risk losing my lunch on those brand new boots he’s wearing. Not that I’ll give him the satisfaction of knowing that, mind you. But despite all of that, or maybe because of it, I don’t understand how he can ask me to do something like this. Something that could very well kill my own soul if anything were to go wrong.
“Imagine it was me. Imagine you had to stand by and watch as someone drained the life from my body. You’re forced to watch the breath leave my lungs and can do nothing as my heart stops beating. All the while you’re hoping and praying nothing goes wrong and you don’t lose me in the process. Now imagine having to watch that five times over. How can you ask that of me?”
His thumb comes up to wipe away a tear I didn’t even realize had leaked out of my dysfunctional eye.
“We don’t have a choice, love. Our powers are getting worse. Some weakening. Others are becoming some sort of weird hodge podge with all of our powers mixed in, but they’re completely nonfunctional. We...” I can feel the struggle inside him as he trails off. His gaze leaves mine, and I know whatever he’s about to tell me is going to take this from bad to worse. “We’re growing weaker, Fate.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We haven’t wanted to say anything, figuring it was just stress or the added load caused by our powers going crazy, but Mack confirmed it’s more than that. We’re physically growing weaker. Knox stumbled in the hall today, out of nowhere. Had Thad not been there, he may have crashed to the floor. Thad helped him back to his room, and he seems fine now, but we’re all starting to feel it. I don’t think we have much time left.”
My heart is pounding frantically while my mind fights to find another option. An alternative. I won’t risk losing my guys forever. There has to be another way, right?
“I can see those gears turning, love, but we have only one choice.”
I throw myself at him then, which probably isn’t the smartest move considering he just told me how weak they’re all feeling, but he catches me, like I knew he would, wrapping those muscular arms of his around me. I always feel so safe here. Like nothing can touch me, nothing can touch us, as long as we’re together like this.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says with his face buried in my hair.
“You can’t promise that.” My voice cracks. All of his emotions are combining with all of my own, creating a whirlwind inside me. My power comes to life, the air chilling and the flames in the fireplace flaring bright.
He pulls back, looking me straight in the eyes. His icy blues study me while his hands frame my face. “I won’t ever leave you. Even if I die and they can’t reinstate the bond, I’ll always be with you. There’s nothing that could drag me away.”
And he kisses me. It’s one of desperation and longing. And love. So much fucking love.
When he finally pulls back, he rests his forehead on mine. I need to tell him. Show him. Something. I can’t risk leaving it unspoken.
“Cole, I-”
“I love you, Fate. Forever and always. You’re the other half of my soul.”