We were good together in so many ways, and then in a few ways, we were totally incompatible. We had our fair share of problems. Issues that we both worked hard to overcome. But ultimately, Richie’s demons got the better of him and he ended his life.
He'd come into the gym to not only improve his physical health, but his mental health as well. I felt as if I had failed him. I had failed him. The guilt and the burden overwhelmed me. But with the support of my closest friends—Porter, Steel, and Stirling—as well as eighteen months in therapy, I made progress. Baby steps, but still progress.
“Do you still, you know, visit?” Porter’s words snapped me back to reality. He had a freakish way of knowing what was on my mind.
“You mean Richie?” I asked. The words felt heavy in my throat.
Porter nodded.
“Yeah, just once a month. Bring some new flowers, make sure the gravestone is clean and tidy, that sort of thing, you know?”
“That’s so nice that you do that,” Porter got up and gave me a hug. I let him lean into my body for a moment.
Again, at times like this, the decency of the guy shone through.
As did his disgusting sweatiness, which I could feel against my skin.
“Get off me, you’re all wet. Have you even showered?” I asked, pushing him away with a lighthearted laugh.
“Of course I have,” he replied indignantly. He bit down on his lip and moved in again, yet staying far enough away from me not to warrant another push. ”I have noticed that I’ve been sweating a lot more and for a lot longer after each workout since I turned forty. Is that normal, Hudson?”
I let out a deep laugh. “There is nothing normal about you, Porter. And stop distracting me. How are you doing with deleting Gruff?”
He sulked back over to grab his phone, his brows pinched tightly together as he gawked at the screen.
“They make it really tough. I can’t find a way to delete it in any of the settings.” He looked up, saw my face, and quickly looked back down again. “But don’t worry, I’ll find it.”
“Yeah, you better,” I said, starting to feel the irritation boiling up inside of me again. “I want that thing deleted before you leave here tonight.”
I could have sworn I heard him mutter something about him being the Dom and not me, but I let it slide.
“Hey, boss.”
I turned in the direction of the deep male voice. It was shortly followed by a friendly female voice.
“Hey, Hudson.”
“Hey, Teddy. Hey, Stephanie,” I said, greeting them with a warm smile as they ran their club passes through the machine. “Have a great workout, guys.”
“Mmm, mmm, mmm.” Porter’s lip-smacking assaulted my ears and his still-sweaty palm landed on my shoulder. “Who were they?” His tongue hung loosely out the side of his mouth.
“That was Teddy and Stephanie,” I said, worming my way from underneath his disgustingly clammy hand and moving a few steps away.
“What I wouldn’t give to see his hole,” Porter said, his eyes following Teddy as he walked over to the warm-up area as he began doing some inadvertently suggestive stretches, bending over from the waist and revealing his perfectly pert ass.
“I think Stephanie might have something to say about that,” I said with a snicker.
“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing...or watching. A lot of people are into that these days, you know?” Porter said, tilting his head to the side as Teddy did a ridiculous-looking stretch that even made me tilt my head for a better view.
He was a very fit man, a former football player who still possessed an impressive physique and very, very muscular legs that were now, somehow, above his head.
“Besides,” Porter said. His lips were moving, but his eyes weren't. They were still firmly transfixed on Teddy. “What straight guy calls another guy boss?”
I rolled my eyes even though I knew he wouldn’t notice.
“It’s like calling a guy man or dude. Plenty of straight guys say it,” I said.
“Yeah, well I wish they’d say it to me.”
I managed to snap myself out of the Teddy-trance, happy to leave Porter lingering in his for a moment or two longer. I could only imagine the filthy thoughts running through his mind.
“Alright, back to deleting the app please,” I said after a few moments had passed, giving him a tap on his wet shoulder.
He moved over to the phone and sat back down again slowly. He put his feet up on the counter—another pet peeve of mine, but I didn’t say anything. If it got him to delete the app, I could live with it.
“Can’t blame a guy for looking,” he said. I thought he was talking about Teddy until I walked up behind him and saw a smooth, puckered hole filling the screen.
“Hey, you’re meant to be deleting the app,” I growled. “Besides, technically those photos are for me, not for you.”
“You’re no fun,” he said as I pushed his feet off the counter. They landed on the floor with a heavy thud.
“You know I don’t like that,” I said, ignoring his scowl.
“Hey, it’s not my fault. I never get this many hole pics. Let me enjoy it for a minute,” he protested.
“You don’t?”
“Nope, never,” he replied with a firm head shake.
“So, how come I get so many?” I asked.
He quirked an eyebrow at me.
“Do I really need to spell it out for you?” he asked.
Clearly, he did.
“You’ve got total alpha vibes happening, Hudson. People take one look at you—your massive muscles, your tattoo sleeves, your shaved head—they see all of that and they’ve got you pegged.”
Ha, if only they knew.
“And they want it,” he continued. “That’s why all these thirsty bottoms are sending you pics, like these,” he said as he pointed a photo of a hairy, open hole at me.
“Put that away,” I said, looking around, praying there were no customers milling about. This was precisely the reason why the front counter was a Staff Only area. Maybe I should just replace the sign with a No Porter one instead.
I sulked over to the other side of the counter to create some space between Porter and myself. His irritating words echoed in my head. He was right, though, which irritated me even more. People did look at me and instantly have their minds made up.
I had to be this, or I had to be into that…
They were always wrong. No one had ever figured me out yet.
Not even Richie.
I looked out at the gym floor. Apart from Teddy and Stephanie, there were only about half a dozen other people working out. I let out a depressed sigh, rubbing my eyes, hoping that as if by magic, I’d reopen them to find the gym packed full of people like it used to be. Like all three of my gyms used to be until the year from hell happened.
I’d been forced to close down two of my gyms. I was down to just this one, and it wasn’t doing so great either.
Maybe it was life’s way of telling me to move on? Who knew...
I glanced up at the clock on the wall. Shit, it was almost eight. I flew by a stunned Porter who looked at me like I was an alien as I lunged for the remote controls. I grabbed one in each hand and began flicking each of the eight TV screens that were perched above the cardio area over to channel nine.