I leaned forward. “We’ll hear you out, but let me make something clear before you go any further: we don’t care what you do or how you help. We won’t give you our allegiance. Xest is ours.”
His smile grew a little tenser and more frigid, if that were possible. “I didn’t think offering to help would be greeted with such hostility and resistance.”
Hawk pulled out a chair, sitting beside me. “We’re merely laying out our conditions, but we’re listening.”
“I’d heard you two weren’t so simpatico, but I see that was faulty information.” Lou sniffed in displeasure.
Neither of us replied as we sat shoulder to shoulder. We might fight constantly, but we did seem to unite at all the right times.
“I’m going to help, with no strings attached.” Lou leaned forward, steepling his fingers in front of him. “I know how to put the monster back in its bottle. But if you don’t care to know, send me away. It’s your choice.”
“And just how do we go about doing it?” Hawk asked.
“You don’t.” Lou made a swirling motion with his finger before he stopped and pointed it at me. “She does.”
Just what I needed right now. Another delusional man—angel—telling me I could do things I couldn’t. Why was it that every male in Xest seemed to believe I was more capable than I was? Under normal circumstances it might be flattering. Even in the beginning, it had been kind of interesting and cool to have people think I was special.
But the games were done. We needed hard facts and proven methods. I couldn’t afford to get wrapped up in flattery. I needed a plan etched in concrete.
“If I’ve been able to, why haven’t we found this special ability yet?”
“Because you haven’t known what to do, and neither have your confidants. But I do.” Lou placed a hand on his chest and graced us with a smug smile.
“What if it’s a trap?” Oscar leaned forward in his seat.
Everyone had piled into the back room the moment Lou walked out, except for Gillian. It appeared she was planning on working later hours.
“It could be, but it’s a chance I have to take,” I said, my legs kicked up on the table in front of the couch as I tried to present a calm image.
“How are you supposed to get it there?” Bibbi asked, as if I hadn’t left that part out on purpose.
“I can’t say. It’s a bit delicate.” I couldn’t say. If I did, everyone in this room would tell me I was crazy. I was still waiting for Hawk to say it.
“But Lou told you how to get it to come?” Musso asked. His forehead was wrinkled as he hung back over by the fireplace, as if he didn’t want anything to do with what was to come.
“Yes,” I said, having a hard time meeting his stare.
Hawk wasn’t saying much. On the average day, knowing where Hawk stood on an issue wasn’t a problem, but he was keeping his cards close to his vest. Reading him tonight was like reading Latin. I was committed to doing whatever I had to, and that meant trying out Lou’s plan. But I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at Hawk every few minutes, trying to get a read.
“Are you sure about this?” Bibbi lapped the room again.
“Yes,” I said. “I have to give it a try. Lou said it wouldn’t necessarily work forever. It’ll just buy us time. It makes me believe he was telling the truth.” He also said he couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t hurt me, although he thought I’d make it out alive. They didn’t need to know that much detail.
“There’s no other options?” Bertha asked.
“No. We’ve been running around chasing our tails. We can’t even pin it down. I’ll think about it for a few days, but this might be the only way.” I spoke a truth that no one else was willing to admit.
The room looked at me as if I’d announced the looming date of my funeral.
“You should do whatever you feel is right and I’ll back you one hundred percent, body and mind.” Bibbi squared her shoulders and her face firmed up, losing all softness.
“Thank you.” The transformation Bibbi had made, from meek young girl to hard soldier, was nothing less than amazing. Or maybe it hadn’t been a transformation at all but a shedding of an outer skin to reveal the truth beneath. Either way, I was proud to call her a friend.
“That goes for me too,” Zab said.
“It goes for us all,” Oscar said.
There was one voice that remained silent. I wouldn’t look his way again, as if begging for approval. It had to be done, and I was the only one who could do it. No matter how much this show of support helped, other than lifting my spirits, it didn’t affect the plan.
The time ticked by slowly as the room emptied until it was just me and him left.
“If you have a criticism, I’d prefer you say it. At least put it out there so I can tell you that you’re wrong.” It was unfortunate that I was only partially joking.
“No critique. I’m always on your side, whether you realize it or not.” Hawk’s calm statement helped settle something inside of me.
For the first time in hours, I met his gaze. He walked over and sat opposite me, resting his arm on the back of the couch, looking as tired as I felt.
“I’ll back you up, whatever your decision,” he said.
“Then why were you so silent?” I asked.
“It doesn’t mean I like it. But very rarely am I happy with any of the plans you decide upon.” His face softened.
“I want to do it tomorrow, early, before anyone knows we’re gone.” I toyed with the fringe on the throw blanket beside me. “Just us. That’s it. If things go badly, I don’t want to worry about anyone else getting caught in the crossfire.”
“It’s not going to be easy.”
That sounded like the understatement of the decade. The way Lou had laid it out, I’d be lucky to make it through the first part of what was coming.
Hawk stood.
“You think it’ll work?” I asked before he could leave, hating how desperate that had come out.
He took a step toward me. “You’ll make it.”
“How do you know?”
He leaned down, his lips crashing over mine, his presence swallowing me whole the way it always did when he touched me.
I was breathless when he broke off a few seconds later.
Hawk cupped my face with a firm grip. I couldn’t break away from the intensity of his stare. “I can’t stop you from doing this, but I’ll be damned if I let you die.”
He walked out of the room, leaving me stunned for different reasons.
It wasn’t yet dawn when I made my way downstairs in what I considered my best combat gear of black boots with steel toes, leather pants, and a jacket that wasn’t very warm but didn’t have any bulk to slow me down.
Hawk was waiting for me, looking pretty kick-ass himself.
“You ready?” he asked as I walked into the room.
Sleep hadn’t come to me until well into the night, but my tank was fueled with adrenaline. From the calmness that had settled over me, it seemed my engine ran cleaner on that stuff than sleep and good food. It was something to think about in the future. Or had I become adrenaline adapted? Either way, I was about as steady as you could get.