Warmth poured through her body at that naughty wink and the smile that accompanied it. Watching the real Elias leak past the buttoned-up layers of pomp and formality was so much fun. Kelsey almost reached for his hand, but stopped herself just in time.
The gardens looked deserted—did the entire capital city go to mass?—but the outer grounds of the palace were open to public tours. They had to be careful. Or so Elias kept insisting. Repeatedly. That if anyone found out, he’d lose his job. And his honor. Because he was a commoner and she was royalty.
Kelsey didn’t believe it. What was the good of having the title of princess if it couldn’t be used to protect her…what…boyfriend? If she could call him that. Considering she might be moving back to Manhattan in a week, that seemed presumptuous.
She’d never ask Elias to give up his life here in Moncriano. No matter how much she respected him…enjoyed him…adored being with him…craved more time naked with him…
Nothing cranked down the lid on the urge to touch him like thinking about religion. “We’re Presbyterian, I guess? We mostly went on Christmas and Easter.”
“Any excuse for carols and ham,” Mallory said.
“Perhaps you’d be willing to undertake a basic education in the rituals, so that when required to attend church as a family you wouldn’t feel confused.”
Turning in a slow circle to take in the unfamiliar mountains, the glint of the ocean in the opposite direction, and of course, the palace, Kelsey said, “This shouldn’t be breaking news, but I’m existing in a perpetual state of confusion.”
“Stop that. You’re doing great,” Mallory said stoutly. “You’re not a spy cramming for a black op. These things take time. Citizens spend eighteen years learning history and culture and tradition as they grow up. They’re trying to stuff it all into you in a matter of weeks. Don’t put yourself down.”
Kelsey blew her a kiss. Her sister never failed to boost her confidence levels. Something that burbled way below average in her bloodstream. “Habit, I guess.”
“A crappy habit, one you need to break. Royalty should be extremely self-assured.”
“Like you know.”
“Uh, you know how much I love old movies. Lots of them revolve around royalty.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if she could just binge watch some black-and-white movies with snappy dialogue and great hats and be all caught up? “I watch all those medical dramas. You don’t see me posing as a doctor, do you?”
“Not yet. Who knows what next secret about your new life will be unveiled?” Mallory wriggled her fingers and lifted her arms as though lifting a sheet.
They both giggled. It was such a relief to not be tamping down any of their humor in public. Maybe a totally deserted park wasn’t very public, but Kelsey was already sick of minding her Ps and Qs all the time. Not in a rebellious, teenage way. Just in a not wanting to be fake way. Serene and stoic did not come naturally to her.
So far, being royal felt a lot like being on a nonstop job interview.
She was positive it wasn’t just her relatives doing the judging. Everyone from the footmen to the other security teams to yes, Renate at the salon, who all saw this near-clone of Genevieve walking around with unfettered access to the royal family. They had to have guessed who she was already, and been sworn to secrecy. Either way, the only people she could relax, be herself around, were Mallory, Elias, Sir Evan, and her chambermaid, Anya.
Living a lie didn’t sound appealing. Giving up who she was on the outside was one thing. Her job, her country, her preferred daily uniform of yoga pants—Kelsey could live without those, if necessary. But giving up who she was on the inside was an entirely different matter. It was as if she was a doll, having her stuffing replaced.
Was there a way to embrace being a princess while remaining her ordinary self? Because she truly wanted to give Moncriano a fair shot. Being a part of the House of Villani was a centuries-old legacy. It’d be immature to turn her back on it just for not being what she’d planned. Yet it felt very mature to realize that she could not truly become a Villani if it meant giving up everything that made her Kelsey Wishner…
“Look, there.” Elias pointed past the edge of the lake to a copse of leafed-out trees. In their shade sat what looked similar to a Grecian temple. Four marble columns, holding up a pitched roof. Centered under its peak was the image of a crown over the name Serena.
Mallory stopped and grabbed Kelsey’s arm. “Is that her tomb?”
“Yes.”
Whoa. Talk about a bait and switch. Kelsey took in the enlarged black silhouette in relief on pale-blue marble. Its shape was almost identical to her own face. A pair of silver plaques bracketed it, covered in writing she wasn’t close enough to read. Curiosity carried her forward even as she shot Elias a stone-cold glare.
“You said you wanted to show me something meaningful on the palace grounds.”
Elias put his hands in his pockets, bunching up his jacket, the one she knew he only wore in this heat to cover his gun. To protect her at all times. “It is meaningful, to me. I’ve been here many times with Christian over the years.”
“But I’m wearing shorts.” Kelsey didn’t think she should be in all black and a hat with a veil. But something more respectful than frayed denim shorts and a concert tee from Elton John’s last tour would be appropriate for her first visit to her mother’s grave. The closest she’d come to meeting the woman who gave her life.
This morning had taken a hard left to the surreal.
The inner corners of his dark-brown eyebrows pulled together in obvious concern. “I could tell that you were all in your head about her suicide. You didn’t relax at all during the portrait session last night.”
Not relaxed? That was like calling a volcano a warm mud bath. “I was posing for a family portrait with people I barely know with a heavy tiara shellacked to the top of my head. The grand duchess stared at me, Genevieve wouldn’t look at me, and yeah, I was processing everything. It takes a few hours, for goodness’ sake.”
“You’re saying you’re better now? Calmer?”
“I was,” she said pointedly.
His usual nod bent deeper, into a half bow. “My apologies. I’d hoped bringing you here, unannounced, would be akin to removing a bandage without warning. Less painful. Less worrisome.”
“And you made sure Mallory came along in case I got emotional.” Kelsey had been caught off guard, sure. But the thoughtfulness behind his decision to blindside her with this field trip was inarguable. Better than a dozen roses, or dinner at an expensive restaurant. Elias got nothing out of this. He’d done it strictly for her.
With practiced polish, he side-stepped the actual answer as they approached the base of the pavilion. “I’m aware you two haven’t gotten to spend as much time together as you’d like.”