“You just want to show your girlfriend off to everyone,” I tease, which makes Nicole blush.
“You bet.” He sneaks a kiss on her cheek and sits down at the table.
As I grab a grape from a bowl of fruit on the counter, I can’t help but feel a small amount of jealousy.
Before I left for Berkeley, I hoped that campus might be the place I met my special someone. A guy who I’d laugh and talk with, a spontaneous man who’d whisk me off on mini rendezvous. Someone who had the same core beliefs as me or at least wouldn’t laugh when I said I wanted to save the planet in a conservative way. I also hoped that maybe, just maybe, I’d feel that spark.
The kind of spark I feel when I’m with Wes.
Dad comes home with a few bottles of wine and a script for an upcoming episode of his show. Nicole asks him a thousand questions about what it’s like filming, and Dad answers them all with glee. Mom and I sneak a wink to each other because we know he’s eating it up, and it’s good for him. He’s worked hard, keeping his dream afloat while supporting our family. It’s nice to see him reaping the rewards.
After dinner, the three of us head out to the bar. Chad and Nicole instantly go to his friends, who are at the pool tables, while I meet up with some of mine sitting at the bar.
“I’m so glad you made it!” Angie says. She’s my best friend from back home, who I haven’t spoken to in way too long. “You move away and completely forget about us non-college-goers.”
I laugh because I know she’s kidding about forgetting about her. That could never happen. We’ve been in each other’s lives since we were in second grade.
“Sorry. I know; I suck. School’s been intense,” I reply as I give Carlie and Emma, two other girls I grew up with, hugs.
“Hey, I’d forget about us, too, if I were living with Wesley Knight. Please tell me you get to see that fine specimen of a man without his shirt on a daily basis,” Emma says.
My heart rate picks up at just the mention of his name. I try to blow off the notion and act nonchalant about it. “You do realize I grew up with the guy, right?”
They all sigh with heart eyes in their expressions.
“You’re so lucky. Hell, I’d be happy with your brother just the same,” Carlie says, and I nudge her arm.
“Ew! I have a hard enough time, seeing him with his new girlfriend. I can’t imagine having him with one of my friends.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, my stomach turns.
Yes, pot, kettle, black and all that shit.
“Girl, what I would do to have one day with Wes Knight. I’d let that man tie me up, lick me up and down, and do what he pleases with that body of his,” Emma says, holding her hands behind her back and pretending she’s being tied up.
They all giggle when, deep inside, I want to tell them he’s more than just a hot piece of ass—and she hasn’t even seen how amazing said body has improved over the years. But he’s more than a gorgeous physique. He’s kind and deep, his laughter makes my heart happy, and his stories turn my bad moods around.
I can’t tell them any of this though.
He’s my deep, dark secret.
I go home earlier than everyone else, telling them I have to wake up early to help my mom cook in the morning. Really, I just want to curl up in bed and call Wes.
I put on my pajamas and brush my teeth, wondering if I should call. My first night away from him, and here I am, thinking about him, wanting him. Feeling like I can’t rest until I hear his voice.
I’ve never been like this. Never been so needy. It’s all so unnerving.
Fuck it. I pick up the phone and dial his number.
It only rings once.
“Miss me already?” Wes answers with that smooth, brooding voice.
I smile into my pillow, amazed at just how happy his voice makes me. “How’d your test go?”
“It was easy. Glad it’s over though. How was your night? I thought you’d be out, partying with friends.”
“I was, but I wanted to come home early. Wasn’t feeling it.”
He lowers the music in the background. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I just …” I bite my lip and look up at the ceiling, hesitant to say how I really feel but go for it anyway. “Is it weird that I miss you?”
As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I instantly regret them. We’re not that kind of couple. We’re not a real couple actually. We’re less than that. And more than that. I place my palm on my head, hoping I didn’t make things more complicated.
“No. It’s not weird. I found myself standing outside your door about an hour ago, and then I remembered you weren’t there.” His sigh-like laugh echoes through the receiver.
A huge smile builds on my face. “Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, there’s no one else here to tell me at least once a day what a jerk I am.”
“Well, if it brings you comfort, I’ll gladly sit here and let you know that you indeed are a jerk.”
He chuckles deeply, and I find myself curling up into the pillow with the phone to my ear, imagining we’re lying together.
“You should get some sleep. I know you have to be up early to help your mom.”
“My alarm is set for seven. What are your plans tomorrow? I wish you had taken my family’s invitation and come here for Thanksgiving.”
He lets out a deep sigh. I can picture him lying with his hand curled under his head and furrowing his brow. “They’re serving food at the commissary, but I’ll probably order Chinese and watch football.”
It’s silent for a moment as we sit here, absorbing each other’s thoughts. No one wants to be home alone on a holiday. Wes likes my family, and I know they love him.
It’s why I wonder, “Why won’t you come back to Los Angeles? What happened that keeps you away?”
“Nothing. Everything,” he breathes.
I know talking about his personal life isn’t easy. Because I know this, I don’t ask any more questions. I just listen. Because when Wes decides to open up to someone, you know it means you’ve earned his ultimate trust.
“It’s just not a place where I feel comfortable. I have a lot of good memories—don’t get me wrong—but they are all trampled by my family ones. I can’t explain it without getting into it, and trust me, I don’t want to.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry—”
“Stacey, you’re allowed to ask questions. I love that you want to ask. Just be okay with the fact that I might not be ready to share.”
“I like hearing your stories. The good and the bad.”
“Then, it’s a good thing I enjoy talking to you. You make my crap days a lot brighter.”
We stay up talking until two in the morning. When I hear Chad and Nicole come home, I look at the clock and realize I need to get some sleep. As I hang up, I have this feeling of contentment as I fall asleep. Spending the next four days without Wes is going to be hard.
Nicole and I help with preparing dinner as Chad and my dad watch football after they work in the yard.
Nicole fits in perfectly with our family, and I know my mom loves having her around. Our holiday is usually just the four of us since our grandparents and cousins all live in other states. Having an extra body around makes the house feel livelier. Maybe in a few years, it’ll be bustling with people. Chad and I will both be bringing people home and maybe start families of our own. It’s crazy to think we’re just a few years away from all that.