No. He walked out.
He left, so I shake my head. “Not unless I meet some hot guy in the next couple of weeks.” But even as I say it, my heart aches at the memory of him.
“You never know what could happen.” Vickie grins. “Now, let’s have a hot chocolate and catch up. I have a feeling after all the years of estrangement, we have a lot of talking to do.”
I settle in, happy to spend time with my sister.
But even as I feel at ease with her, my heart is still worrying itself over my relationship with Colton. Though I broke it off, I don’t want him to walk away.
I want him to fight.
But not at the expense of his career.
29
Violet
I pick up my laptop, log in, and open a browser. Scrolling through Facebook is boring. I turn to Ida’s website because it’s the only thing that really entertains me, especially when I’m feeling like this. Like the world is slowing down, and I’m on the ride, waiting for it to start back up.
Colton’s been gone for a week. I’m not some lovesick teenager. I know he’ll be back because of his job, but to be honest, I miss him. It’s been a long time since I truly thought about someone else being in my life.
I spent my teens thinking about school, about getting through college, and when I hit my early twenties, my focus was on work. My internship, and now I’m here, promoted to a fully-fledged journalist, writing articles, and informing people of the latest goings-on in the city.
But I still rely on the advice column that’s never once steered me wrong. Though most of the advice was given to others, I used it in my own daily life.
My phone buzzes before I have time to dig into the new submissions on the website, and I see Colton’s name flash across my screen. He’s been calling every day, but I just can’t bring myself to respond. Or to answer. I should walk away, tell him to leave me alone, and that I don’t want him in my life after seeing him with her in the newspaper article from the night he arrived back from LA. The kiss has been haunting me for days.
But I don’t.
Because it’s a lie, and I pride myself on always telling the truth. Even if it hurts another person, it’s the only way to live because if you have to remember one lie, you usually have to remember so many more.
The phone buzzes again, another message, and I know they’ll come every few hours throughout the day. He’s visiting his friend Simon, and I wonder if he’s told them about me. If he’s admitted to what happened. Perhaps he’s asking for advice.
Sighing, I open my messages and tap on the first text.
Colton: I won’t give up. I’m yours. Always, and even though you might not believe it, I’ll make sure you understand that by the time Christmas comes.
It’s a promise. One I’m certain he’ll keep. One thing I learned about Colton King is he doesn’t give up until he has something he wants in his hands. But that doesn’t matter. Even if he does prove himself to me, I don’t know if I can live a life in the public eye.
And so, I cannot ask him to give up his career, just like I wouldn’t want him to ask me to give up mine. He loves modeling, I love writing. He enjoys being in the studio and onsite. His love for traveling is something I admire about him, but I can’t drop my life because he needs to fly some place to shoot. I understand the need for doing something you’re passionate about, and I can’t stand in his way.
Being the target of paparazzi every day of my life is not my idea of a perfect life. Shaking my head, I open the second message and scan the words once. Then again. And a third time.
Seconds later, there’s a knock on my door, which has me shooting up from the couch. It can’t be. Even though his message assured me he’d be at my apartment in a few moments, I don’t believe it.
Another knock, then silence. He doesn’t call out to me, he doesn’t shout through the door, so I pad over to it and wait. Leaning my ear against the surface, I listen to a phone buzz from the other side, and then his deep British accent fills the space.
“Yeah, I’m here, but I don’t know if she’s home.” He listens, I’m guessing, as silence greets me. Then he says, “I’m not leaving until she either opens the damn door, or she returns from wherever she is. It’s ridiculous that we’re apart when all I want is to be beside her.”
More silence stretches across the barrier between us. I wonder what the other person on the line is saying. I wonder if it’s Simon he’s talking to. Perhaps it’s someone else, maybe Blythe. But she wouldn’t be the one he’d talk to about us. I know this because when she saw us together, she didn’t seem all that happy about me taking Colton’s attention away from the job she’d set up for him. At least, that’s what she believed I would do.
“I’m sitting on the floor, on the small welcome mat outside her door. She has to come home, surely.” Suddenly, he sounds so afraid, as if I’d run off and never return. And I wonder briefly what the person on the other end of the line is telling him.
Maybe they’re explaining that I can’t just up and leave in a week, but I mean, it’s entirely possible. He sighs so loudly, and I feel it right down to my bones. I want nothing more than to hold him in this second. I want to feel his warmth embrace me like he used to.
“Okay, goodbye,” he states before disconnecting, and then I’m met with quiet. I wonder if I should open the door, put him out of his misery. I sigh this time before I unlatch the lock and pull open the door, causing him to fall back over the threshold of my apartment and onto the soft carpet.
“What are you doing here, Colton?”
“Darling,” he sighs, looking up at me from the floor. He rolls onto his knees, staying on the welcome mat, and makes no move to stand. He holds a bouquet of red roses, a dozen if I’m not mistaken, and smiles. “I’m here because you need to know how much I care for you. How much I …” His words trail off, and I know what he’s trying to say, and my heart stutters in my chest.
In all my years, all the dates I’ve been on, and the very few relationships I’ve had, never once did I say to the guy, nor did the guy I was with say those words to me. And now, I hold my breath, waiting.
“I love you,” he finally admits, his voice lilting with every syllable, and I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face. “The girl they forced on me, that was nothing. She’s not who I want. Please, you have to believe me.” There’s a plea in his expression, in those deep and endless eyes that captured my attention from the start. “I would never and could never do anything to hurt you. She pressed her mouth to mine, what the camera shot, that was her coming onto me. What they didn’t catch was me pulling away,” he tells me. “That woman didn’t hold a candle to you.”
“You look silly down there,” I tease, earning myself a chuckle as he pushes to his feet, and now, I have to tip my head back to look into his eyes. They’re clear, almost glassy as he regards me for a long time.
Then he holds the roses out toward me. “Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?” he finally asks, and I stare at him, making him sweat it out for a while before I slowly nod.