How clearly I see it now.
Blackened hair, dark brown penetrating eyes that analyze everything. An aura of confidence and protectiveness surrounding him. The jokester with a cool demeanor but deadly actions. His stubble and calm, deep voice have changed, Ocean’s broader, taller and well-built with a powerful body and not the slender teenager anymore. How didn’t I see it earlier? Subconsciously, maybe I did.
“Nothing?” A smirk tugs at his lips.
Reaching for my arms, Ocean helps me from the floor. I wince with the shooting pains slicing through my stomach, an ache runs through my shoulder but nothing can dampen this revelation.
“Hmm? Only one thing makes me smile thinking about my childhood.”
“What might that one thing be?” Arms wrap around me, holding me firmly next to his tight body.
“Fantasizing about and watching a cocky teenage boy any chance I got, even if it meant being ridiculed later. Wishing that he would be my first kiss and secretly hoping each night he would take me away from my abusers.” I drop my head in embarrassment. I was so young and so naive. No teenage boy could do that, but Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty were still fresh in my mind.
Ocean’s finger locks under my chin, lifting it up slowly. “Me?”
Nodding my head, I smile shyly.
“It may be late, but your wishes are going to come true, baby. Starting right now.”
Bending his face down to meet mine, my unhinged brother gone for now, Ocean’s lips meet mine.
Hard.
Pulling me up, holding my waist tight, I don’t stumble back under his force. Commanding and almost aggressive, his tongue enters my mouth, intertwining and competing with mine. There is no soft and gentle or set pace, it’s frantic and loud. Groans escape his lips, moans ring through the air from me. Our teeth clash and my hands grab the back of his head, twisting my fingers through his long hair, keeping him close to me.
Air is not needed. Ocean is my lifeline in this moment. Tingling courses through me, a wildfire radiating from my chest. Warm hands clench at my ass, digging in. It doesn’t hurt. Not much anyway. Unprepared, he steadies me as he continues a frenzied assault on my lips. This blaze has been building for years and today’s the day it’s been set free of all restrictions. Unsure of much, having Ocean’s lips on me is right. And how he is bruising my lips, I’d say he agrees.
Responding in my own chaotic way, unsure if I’m really doing any of this correctly, I thrust my tongue in more and battle his. Biting down on his lip accidentally, blood swirls in my mouth and I rear back.
“Sorry.” Heaving, I suck in a deep breath.
“Never be sorry for showing me all of you, Phoebe.”
My name rolls off his tongue close to my ear and it’s like a shower of glitter has been blown across me, making me shine for the first time. My name’s never sounded so good.
Nodding, I rest my head on his chest thumping against my ear. Exhaustion overcoming me.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” His hand envelops the back of my head.
“Yeah. I’ll grab some clothes.” Really not wanting to let go of Ocean, I step over the glass and the mess in my bedroom and find my overnight bag, stuffing it full with underwear and my clothes stacked in my drawers, taking my brush and cosmetics scattered on my dresser.
With one last glance, shivers run up my spine. This is no longer a safe haven for me. My brother has tarnished it and again killed any happiness I had here. Sighing, I release my shoulders and move.
“I’ve got what I need.” I focus on the male in front of me, not what’s behind me.
“You sure do.”
Taking my hand, we leave my small world behind me.
Phoebe…
A girl I knew a lifetime ago.
Not that we were an item. Days would pass and I would watch her from afar, hoping when I walked into the shop, I would see her delicate features, her lengthy black hair, and small lips. Disappointed if I didn’t see her, but knowing she’d be spying on me at four-thirty every afternoon was enough. It didn’t matter that she was a kid, liking how she didn’t flaunt herself over me. I got enough of that at school and I hated it.
Anger was known to me. Ricocheting through me multiple times, but no greater on the last day I saw Phoebe and her dickhead of a father and brother. Fury built inside and all I wanted to do was smash their faces and bones into smithereens for Phoebe, so they couldn’t touch her again.
But I was taken away.
Deflated and dazed, I walked onto a bus with my sister leaving my mother and father the day after I realized Phoebe meant more than I was willing to see at first. We would be away for four weeks during the summer break.
I changed, hell, Melody and I both changed. Her for the better, she found girls her own age to do girly crap with, instead of worrying about how Mom was going to get through another day without becoming comatose. Days were spent laughing, swimming and living life like a thirteen-year-old should. I, on the other hand, found a crowd of guys who lived life on the edge. Mine already on a slippery downhill slope, drugs and alcohol became a daily diet. Sneaking away from scheduled activities and at night, doing dangerous stunts and risking my life multiple times, the adrenaline surged through and I felt alive.
Returning home or the place where my bed was, I kept going with my new routine.
It’s not as though anyone in the house cared, they all had their own selfish needs. Phoebe was a distant memory. I couldn’t go near her, she was a kid. One I would end up destroying.
Always grateful to my guys for pulling me from the brink of death, numerous times, I sorted my shit out and learned the hard way before I ended up in a casket. I had been close, but with them, became who I am now.
“I should have gone in with you.” Pounding the steering wheel, I try not to scare her.
“We didn’t know he would find my house.” Her hands latch together in her lap, her eyes worried.
“Christ, baby, it’s so easy to find that kind of shit out. Hell, I got the details in less than five minutes.”
“Oh.”
“I can’t believe I let the fucker get away.” Frustrated that he touched Blueb—fuck, Phoebe, I’m at boiling point because he left the house by the front door on his own two legs.
“He hurt you. There was nothing you could do.”
“A little smashed glass won’t keep me down…” With a smirk, I look at her, swallowed by the black leather seat. “So, what should I call you?”
Pondering the question for a minute, there’s an internal battle happening. “I’m Bluebell to everyone now. Phoebe doesn’t exist. So, I’m going to leave that choice up to you.”
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. I’ll think about it, because Phoebe is still very much alive in my mind.
“We’re here.” Driving down to the underground parking lot, I see Slate and Emerald’s mass of cars but most importantly his Shelby Cobra, Tanner’s blue Camaro sits in the other corner opposite from Caden’s green Hellcat revealing that the guys are all here. I park in my spot.
“The guys live here most of the time, in our building because of the security we need, it’s easier if we are all together. The offices we work out of are here, as is The Gem: our legal strip joint. Only known associates can get in there. This place is tighter than any maximum jail facility.” Pride beams from me, but it’s important she understands how safe she is but also how dangerous our work is and how vicious we are.