‘I can’t answer that for you. I’m learning there are no hard and fast rules about motherhood. The same applies with affairs of the heart, or life for that matter. You’ll know when it’s time to say goodbye and if it’s not yet, then there’s no right or wrong with that either. People do what they do, Luke. Queenie used to say that. She also used to say, “If you don’t know what to do, do nothing, say nothing and the answer will come to you.” That mantra has worked for me so many times.’
‘Rosa?’
‘Yes?’
‘What if you do know what you want to do?’
‘Just say or do it with honesty, I guess.’
‘Then, can I stay with you tonight?’
CHAPTER 22
‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star…’ Christopher Webb came into the room, lifted the crying baby from his makeshift pram bed in Mary Cobb’s bedroom and placed him over his shoulder. Then, realising that he’d forgotten the rest of the old nursery rhyme, the new grandad began to make it up and deliver it in the best way he was able with his limited vocal range.
‘WAAAAAH!’
‘Shush, little man, it’s all OK. There is lots of love for you here and Mummy will be back in the morning.’
‘WAAAAAH!’ But Little Ned wanted his mummy right now.
Mary reappeared in her bedroom, wearing a new navy velour dressing gown that still had its label in and holding a warmed bottle of milk. Her long black hair had been tidily brushed.
‘Here.’ She put the milk on the bedside table, then taking the distressed little bundle of warmth and energy, she wrapped him in the crocheted blanket that lived at Seaspray Cottage for whenever he visited.
He stopped crying immediately and instead began to deliver hitching breaths; recovery sounds of contentment at the familiar sound and smells of his grandmother and her home. Mary put her finger to his gums. The baby didn’t flinch. ‘I don’t think it’s teeth tonight. I think he must have just woken up and wondered where he was, bless him. What’s the time?’
Christopher went through to the spare room and picked his watch off the side. ‘It’s the devil’s hour. Three a.m. to be precise,’ he said, coming back into her room.
‘Devil’s hour? I’ve never heard that before.’ She tested the temperature of the milk on the back of her hand and put the teat to Little Ned’s mouth. He started to suck hungrily.
‘Yes, when I first started my business, I learned that a lot of deaths happened in the early hours. I checked it out and discovered that our body and immune systems are actually more vulnerable between three and five a.m.’
‘That’s cheery, isn’t it,’ Mary said. ‘Well, we are all very much alive and kicking in this house and when he’s had his bottle and a fresh nappy, I for one need some more sleep – if I can get off again, that is.’ She shivered. ‘The heating should kick in in a minute.’
Once he’d finished and been burped, Mary changed Little Ned’s nappy on a towel on the bed, patted some cream on his sore bottom, buttoned up his Babygro and swaddled him in the blanket again. Then she tucked him into the crook of her arm, sensing that he wasn’t quite ready to go back to sleep yet.
‘If there is something wrong with me and I am losing my marbles, Kit, you will look after Rosa, won’t you?’ she whispered.
‘Oh Polly. I’m sure you’re not, but of course, without question.’ He paused. ‘And I would look after you too.’
Mary felt herself well up. ‘You would?’
The man didn’t answer. ‘To be fair, she doesn’t seem to need a lot of looking after, that one.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘Of course I do.’
‘And I don’t want a huge send-off. I like to keep myself to myself. And I must tell Rosa that I want to be buried in with my mother and Queenie.’ Mary paused. ‘My mother died while she was having me.’ Her voice tailed off at the end.
‘That is so sad.’
‘Yes, it is. I don’t tell many people that.’
‘I know,’ was Christopher’s reply as he joined the fragile woman on the edge of the bed.
They sat in silence. Thighs touching. Hearts knowing. The contented snuffling noises coming from their grandson were slightly hypnotic. After what seemed like only a few minutes, Mary jolted slightly as if she was dropping off to sleep. Then, just like he had done with his Nathaniel all those years ago, Christopher took Little Ned from her and tucked him back in the pram. The baby did not stir. He then did the same to Mary. Coaxing her to get back into bed, he tucked her in and leaned over to kiss her cheek, then pulled up the embroidered bedspread that was resting by her feet. Leaving the two sleeping, he went back into the spare bedroom and was soon fast asleep himself.
CHAPTER 23
Lucas bounded down the stairs of the Ship to find Danny dancing around to Slade and ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’ on the radio. Sausages were grilling and he had made some hash browns.
‘I overslept. Sorry, mate.’ Lucas nicked one of the hash browns off the side, then finding it was very hot, quickly dropped it with an ouch! ‘Good work on making these yourself.’
‘Late one, was it?’ Danny took a slurp of his coffee. ‘I thought you might stay at Gull’s Rest, considering what had happened.’
‘Er no. You know what Rosa’s like, nothing fazes her.’
He didn’t want to explain that while waiting for a reply to his question about staying the night, Josh had phoned, and Rosa had mouthed to Lucas that she was fine and would see him tomorrow. In his dreams he had thought maybe they could just lie together until the sun came up, chatting and laughing. Despite him knowing perfectly well that Rosa would never hurt Josh, he often had fantasies like this. There was always a glimmer of hope, that maybe she would turn around and say that it was him she had wanted all along and they would run off into the sunset together and live happily ever after. But he had grown up to realise that there were very few happy ever afters in real life. And that she had only kissed him before because she had been blind drunk and thought that her husband had cheated on her. He needed to stop watching so many bloody romcoms on Netflix.
‘Oh sod it!’ Danny said into the ether, forgetting about the no swearing ban, then to Lucas, who was making sure the breakfast table was up to scratch: ‘Mate, if Ms Swift’ – he too emphasised the Ms – ‘comes down, take her order, will ya? I just need to run over to Nate and get some ketchup off him. Looks like we are clean out after the burgers last night.’
Danny was back as quickly as he had left. He shivered as he came in out of the cold. Wiping his hands on his apron, he hurried back into the kitchen, put the ketchup in a small bowl and added a teaspoon. As he went through to put it on the restaurant table, he noticed a woman sitting with her back to him.
‘Good morning, madam,’ he said politely. ‘I do hope you slept well. How can I tempt you to have your eggs this morning?’
The woman turned around, causing Danny’s mouth and eyes to spring open in disbelief. ‘If I were a joker, I would say fertilised,’ she replied calmly, with a slight smirk on her face.