As I open my eyes, the room is spinning, but my focus is on him. Each movement in rhythm, every kiss, every touch—he shouldn’t be able to make me feel like this; it’s almost as if he can read my mind.
“I want to be the one to show you things you’ve never seen,” he whispers in my ear as he unhooks my bra. “Make you feel things you’ve never felt.” His hand slides up my thigh before he picks me up. “Just let me.”
The strap of my dress slides down my shoulder. “And what do I have to do?” I whimper, completely under his spell.
He lifts me higher so I’m looking into his eyes, and he brings his mouth to my ear. “Say yes.”
There are so many reasons I should say no. I barely know him. We’ve only been out twice.
“Yes,” I say, breathless.
The time it takes for Cal and me to reach his bedroom on the second floor of his apartment passes within seconds; he carries me as if I were a feather. Once we enter the room, he pulls me into a slow, deep kiss that leaves me hungry for more. After his lips leave mine, we catch our breath. With the few seconds apart, my mind begins to race.
“Wait, um. Do you have any… any protection?” I ask, feeling the awkwardness of the question as soon as it leaves my lips. Still, this is the first time I’ve about to share my body with a man I’m not in a committed relationship with. I hadn’t quite planned for things to go this far tonight, and Hillary’s earlier premonition mocks me.
I open my eyes as I feel his arms loosen their grip around my waist. Damn, those gray eyes are spellbinding. He sets me down, and my toes are revel in the softest carpet I’ve ever walked on. I shift my focus to the rest of his face, searching his expression for any hint of anger. I’ve heard horror stories of men who refuse to use condoms. Thankfully, he flashes me a wide grin, takes my hand, and leads me toward the bed. He sits and rummages through a drawer built into the headboard. I try to calm my nerves and hormones by distracting myself and surveying my surroundings.
His room is large with stone-gray walls. A fireplace sits high on the wall adjacent to his California king bed that seems to stretch for miles, decked in blue and gray linen. I quickly scan the room for personal effects, but there are none. No photographs, trinkets, or clothing scattered about. I do notice an unopened king-sized Snickers bar on the mantel above the fireplace, which paints shadows across the walls. A woman’s voice pours from the surround sound system.
I feel his hand slide across my stomach, and it reels me back into the moment, waking every nerve in my body. The gold foil wrapper is sitting beside him on the bed, waiting for me. I take a deep breath and move to sit beside him, but his hand on my wrist stops me.
“Here,” he says, gesturing to the space in front of him, in a deep, authoritative voice.
My body tingles all over, and I move to where he’s indicated. He shifts forward to the edge of the bed and gently pulls me closer to him. His face is now only inches from my stomach, and his lips caress the space above my navel gently as the muscles in my stomach, and lower, flex in response. His fingers slowly trail up the back of my thighs as I look into his eyes—dark gray now, lust replacing the light green specks that dawned in them earlier.
“I want you to know that you’re in control.” He sensuously licks the lips that I badly want to cover mine.
He moves his hands up my thighs, sweeping across my backside to my waist. He bites his lip but suddenly leans back on the bed, resting his weight on his elbows. His eyes are locked with mine, and I feel as though he’s teasing me. I’m confused, but then I remember his earlier words. He’s waiting on me. I feel myself flush all over and let out a small breath. I turn around so that my back is toward him.
“Take off your clothes.” My voice is low and unrecognizable, but I can’t help feeling some satisfaction at the confidence that courses through me. I feel him behind me and hear him removing his clothes. A few seconds later, I hear the wrapper opening. My heart is beating a mile a minute. “Now take off mine.”
The nervous pit in my stomach transforms into an excitement I’ve never felt—a rush that’s foreign, a craving I don’t recognize. I feel him behind me. His hands move the hair falling down my back to one side of my shoulder; he licks each shoulder blade, sending tingles up my spine. He slowly unzips my dress and pulls it down my shoulders. I feel his arousal pressing against me. His tongue caresses the back of my neck. One of his hands explores my body while the other removes my bra. I’m free.
Usually, this would be the point where I’d feel awkward, nervous, and self-conscious about revealing my body, but this is different. I reach my arm up to hold onto his neck, my knees literally weak, but a slow excitement has been building since I told him to take off his clothes. His touches and dragging kisses on my body are becoming torturous.
His fingers find their way between my thighs, push aside the thin, now moist, lacy material, and slip inside me. I gasp, involuntarily throwing my head back. I push his hand away and swiftly turn around to face him.
“I didn’t say you could do that,” I whisper, a teasing grin on my face that disappears as soon as I see his perfectly sculpted bare body.
I don’t have long to admire it before he picks me up, capturing my mouth. His tongue dominates mine into submission, and it’s not until I’m on the bed, with my body captured beneath his, that he releases it. I catch my breath, and he smiles down at me wickedly. He brings his mouth to my ear, and I slide my hand up his back.
“Do you know what you want now?” he asks before his lips trail down my breast, enrapturing one of my nipples.
I try to focus on what he’s saying. He stops, and I look at him pleadingly.
“Tell me what you want,” he demands, facing me, his eyes hypnotizing.
My body’s yearning for him, craving him, almost on the brink of begging him to enter. “Everything,” I admit almost desperately, having never spoken a more honest thing in my life.
He smiles, seemingly satisfied. “That’s what you’re going to get.”
May 9th 2011
May 9th, 2011
“Lauren, sweetie?”
Raven’s voice wakes me up. I open my eyes and see the sky is dark but lit with stars. I’ve fallen asleep on the patio couch, waiting for Cal to come back.
“What time is it?” My body is stiff. I sit up to work out the kinks in my back. “Is Cal back?” I grimace, trying my best to keep the urgency out of my voice. I feel anxious; butterflies are lining my stomach again.
“I’m sure he’ll be back soon and that everything is fine.” Raven unsuccessfully tries to sound confident.
I can’t even hide my disappointment. I’m too tired to try to play the role of a happy and content wife. It isn’t even worth it after the show Cal and I put on for her neighbors.
“Can you think of why he wouldn’t tell you what happened?” she asks.
I roll my eyes. If only I could think of a reason other than he doesn’t want to.
“Lauren, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” she asks, taking a seat beside me.
Okay, here it comes. “You’re going to ask it anyway, aren’t you?” I reply sardonically and make room for her to sit beside me.