“But it that is a big deal.” I say quietly.
“Look,” she let’s out a frustrated sigh. “You want my story. Here it is. I spent most of my life knocking around foster families, jumping from home to home, bad parent after bad parent…black eyes to busted lips to forty-year-old hands on my ass.”
“Jesus.” I run my hand through my hair again. “I’m so fucking sorry.” To my surprise, she laughs.
She pushes her plate away, the food untouched. Her chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. And all I want to do is crawl inside her brain and steal all of the terrible thoughts, the nightmare memories, and make her better.
I want to hold her close and tell her it’s gonna be okay and wipe her tears, except she’s strong and there aren’t any. We sit in silence for a few minutes as the patrons and waitresses bustle around us.
“All you need to know is that I’ve had to fight really fucking hard to even be here right now.” She gestures to the crappy diner around us. “I’ve literally given everything I’ve got to survive. Done things I don’t believe in. Fallen in with people I can’t even think about. I didn’t want to be this person, but unfortunately, that’s the goddamn hand that the universe decided to deal me, and you—I don’t know where you fit in all of this but you’ve interrupted some plans, let’s just say that.”
“I’m sorry to be an inconvenience,” I tell her playfully.
“On a lighter note. I’m obsessed with music. I can listen to it all day. I love fruit and chocolate and I apparently have a thing for hot guys that like to pry more than they should.” She says the last part lightly and I chuckle.
“Well, I’ll make you a deal.” Her eyebrow moves to a perfect but wary arch.
“I won’t ask you anything else about your past if you eat some of your food.” Her face breaks out into a wide and amazing smile.
The rain starts to lash down outside, cracking against the diner windows like thousands of tiny whips, the wind howling through the broken glass. The taxis outside crashed through the quickly rising pools at the side of the road, soaking passers-by with muddied water, making them retreat even further into the doorways and stoops and under-awnings, sheltering helplessly under discarded sheets of newspaper and broken umbrellas turned inward from the gales.
I watch the weather rage from the right side of the window pane, and think about how this thing with Alana, whatever it is, was a lot like a storm—tumultuous and completely unpredictable, but worth every second of sunshine that pushed through after the clouds had cleared. She finishes her last mouthful of pancakes.
“What?” she asks suspiciously. “Have I got something on my face?”
I reach out and take her hand.
“Yeah,” I tell her softly. “Right here.” And I lean across and kiss her, full on the mouth.
Chapter 5
Megan
It’s our six-month anniversary and tonight I want Kam’s jaw to drop. It’s special, one of the most special days I’ve ever had.
I’m wearing a tight bandage with straps that cross over my chest and back, with a neckline that shows off my breasts to their best advantage, the hemline resting several inches above my knee. It’s the most revealing thing I’ve ever worn. Today I let Gabriella have her way with my makeup. She applied false eyelashes, deep black eyeliner that makes mine look like a cat, and red lips. When I look at myself the girl in the mirror is sexy, and I try to relish every ounce of it. I want Kam to take one look at me and rip my dress off. I thought I’d feel awkward wearing something like this, but I feel oddly comfortable.
I slip on a pair of black pumps and touch up my hair. I’m wearing it bone straight with a part down the middle. When I open the door Kam’s mouth drops and I can’t say that a tingle of excitement goes through me, but as my eyes roam the dark suit that fits his body like a GQ model, I tingle all over. He’s exceptionally handsome today and I can’t help but think that everything I’ve gone through has been worth it to experience moments like this.
“You look…” His eyes are darkening and I can tell they’re full of lust. He closes the door behind him and I smile widely.
“Is Gabriella home?” he asks in a deep voice as he glances around the apartment.
“She left for work an hour ago,” I tell him, feeling hot under his gaze. He pulls me over by the waist, his hand gripping my butt, touching me everywhere.
“We can’t—you have a reservation,” I protest weakly as he backs me against the wall, his hand slipping off my underwear. I can feel him hard against me.
“I’ll be quick,” he promises. Before I can object I’m pressed against the wall with him inside of me.
“Kam,” I whimper before his lips attack mine, his thrust fast, deep, and deliberate. I grip his neck holding on for dear life as he moves faster, deeper, and harder. We’ve made love so many different ways but this is different—the hunger in his eyes, the desperation of his kiss, his hands all over my body…breast, thighs, neck. I can feel him building as he starts to go faster.
“Oh God,” I cry out as his grip tightens around my waist, unable to catch my breath.
“I’m about to come,” he warns me, his moan guttural. I’m on the edge of my own release as I wrap my thighs tighter around his waist and I feel his body shudder as he quickly pulls out of me as my own climax rocks through my body. He sets me down as we both catch our breath. He kisses me long and deep. I let out a laugh.
“I wanted you to rip my clothes off but not before dinner,” I tease him. He sucks in a laugh, pulling down my dress. My apartment is tiny so it only takes a few steps for me to grab him a towel. I glance in the mirror, my hair no longer sleek and straight but my makeup still intact…aside from my smudged lipstick. I remind myself to thank Gabriella for using her expensive setting spray.
He pulls me to him and kisses me again. It’s soft, unhurried, and grateful. “I wanted to give you this at dinner, but I can’t wait.” He reaches into his breast pocket and hands me a small black envelope. I arch my brow curiously. I’m so nervous but I tear into it, wanting to know what it is. Kam’s gifts are always thoughtful and frequent but the buzzing through my body makes me think this will be more than special. My heart flinches when I see two silver keys on it.
“I want you to move in with me.” I’m speechless. I’m a cliché because I have no words. Move in with him? That’s such a big step. Is he sure? Is he ready? Am I ready? I think I am…or maybe I’m not?
“I-I don’t know what to say,” I stutter. He takes my face in his and holds it while he kisses me. When he pulls away I say to him what I always do. This man has kissed away every no I’ve ever had.
“Okay.”
I’m moving in with Kam. I’ll be living with him. It’s what is consuming most of my thoughts at dinner. The restaurant is beautifully elegant with five star food, and the wine makes me smile ridiculously. Kam’s finger trailing up and down my thigh makes me feel drunk with happiness for life. I think of the last time I felt sad or fearful since I’ve heard the voices and it’s been at least three months. The fact that I'm not counting anymore speaks volumes. I cut a piece of the most delicious chocolate cake I’ve ever tasted and feed it to Kam, trying to keep my breath calm as his one of his fingers slides inside of my underwear. I press against it and hold in a whimper. Our eyes lock as he licks his lips and I think of his tongue where his fingers are. I don’t know what’s happening to me. When did I become this person, so hungry with a need for sex that the thought of him under the table and in between my thighs makes me want to leave right now?