She shakes her head slowly. "No, I'm fine." She hesitates as if she wants to say more but isn't sure she should.
"You can tell me anything, Amethyst." I stroke my fingers across her forehead and tuck her hair behind her ear. "I thought you knew that about me."
Whatever barrier she was trying to put up falls, and she melts into me, her arms going around me as she hugs me. I wrap her in my embrace and carry her to her day bed. I sit down and cradle her in my lap.
"You can tell me anything. I'm not going to judge. I just want to know what happened."
She snuggles against my chest. "It's just a mess. I moved here to be my own person and pay my own way. I want to make my own decisions. That's why I got a job taking pictures at the Ferris wheel. This is supposed to be how I start my life. My real life. Not the life my parents have groomed me for.” Her words tumble over each other in a torrent. “I don't want to do what my mother does. I don't want to be a model. My father..." She takes a deep breath and finally leans back and meets my gaze. "That was my father in the car."
"Oh." I don't know what to think about that. I've never had any 'meet the parents’ moments in my life. But Amethyst's father would be a different story. I’d like to know the man that raised such a wonderful woman. Then again, I’d also like to kick his ass for upsetting Amethyst.
"So it was your father in the car. What did he want?"
She sighs heavily. "He wants me to come home and become a carbon copy of my mother. I don't want that."
"Okay, then it's settled. You don't want that, so you won't do that."
"I wish it was that easy." She fidgets a little in my arms, and I stroke her hair to calm her.
"Of course it's that easy. Your life is what you want it to be. Not what your parents say it should be."
"I want to believe that. It's just that he paid for my college, and they always took care of me when I was younger. Maybe not emotionally or anything like that, but they did keep a roof over my head. Whenever I've needed money, they spent it on me. But it didn't come with any sort—I guess it didn't come with love?" She shakes her head. "But maybe money is their love language. I really don't know. All I know is that I want to do what I want to do, and not what they want me to do.” She flinches, as if she’s worried how I’ll react. “My parents want me to be a model like my mother. No thank you. That's not my dream." She sighs again. “I must sound like a big baby to you, right? Like a stupid little girl.”
“Not at all. Not even a little bit. I remember a time not that long ago when I was at a crossroads. People telling me what I should do warring with the choice I wanted to make for myself.” I lean back, and she nestles against my chest.
“What did you pick?”
“I picked me. I chose to come here and start fresh. It was the right decision, because it’s how I met you.”
She smiles so big. God, she’s so beautiful. No wonder her father wants her to be a model, but that doesn’t matter. If it’s not what Amethyst wants, then it’s not going to happen.
I tilt her chin up. "Okay, so it seems like you know what you're not going to do. That's half the battle. So what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to stay here and become a photographer. A professional one. Not just one that works at the Ferris wheel."
She says it with half hesitancy, half excitement. Like she wants it, but she's afraid to really go for it.
"Then do it. Do all of it. Keep working on your photography and live your life the way you see fit. If your father has a problem with that, he can always come talk to me. I'm a bouncer at the bar, but I can also bounce jackasses in any part of town."
She laughs and hugs me tighter. "You make it seem like my dreams are possible. That's one of the things I love about you, Big."
My heart stops beating for a minute, but it quickly catches up as my brain begins to whir. "You love that about me, huh?"
She wriggles in my grip. "Yes," she says timidly.
"Good. There's plenty I love about you."
She looks up at me again. "Oh yeah? Like what?"
"For one." I run my hands down her side, feeling her curves until I get to her hips. "I love this curvy body." I kiss her forehead. "I love this clever mind." I lean down further and plant a soft kiss on her lips. "And last, I love your warm heart. It suffuses everything you do, and I can't get enough of you."
She sighs so sweetly. "Everything you say just makes me melt. How is that? A big tough guy like you over here destroying me with sweet words."
I'd happily destroy her with more than just my words tonight, but I can still sense her inner turmoil over her father's visit. My phone buzzes again, but I keep ignoring it.
"Come on, let's get comfortable." I stand up and strip off my coat, then slide over in her small bed and pat the mattress. "Get in."
“Finally staying the night?” She grins and reaches for the covers, pulling them down and then whipping them up over us as she snuggles in close to me.
"I'm here for you, beautiful. Whatever you need, whatever you decide, whatever you're feeling, you can tell me." I kiss her crown as she takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I’m not here for anything more than that. I promise.”
She exhales hard. "I know. You’ve been so patient with me. Big, you're the best thing that's happened to me since I've moved here, and I don't care what my father says, I'm not letting this new life go. Especially not when you're in it."
I hold her as the night rolls along. Her thoughts finally grow quiet, and she slips off to sleep. I may not know her father, but I know for certain that I won't allow anyone to take her dreams from her, not even him.
13
Amethyst
I smile, feeling Big’s arms wrapped around my holding me close. His warm breath tickles the skin at my neck where his face is buried. I can’t remember the last time I slept this well. Even after my father’s threats. I don’t know if he means them or not.
Would he really try to get me checked in somewhere? My other fear is that he’ll go after Big. At this point, I don’t put anything past him. My only comfort is that I know without a doubt that Big would not be afraid of my father.
He doesn’t seem the type to be afraid of much, but that doesn’t mean he’ll want to deal with my father’s nonsense. I’m not sure which would be worse, if I lost Big or my father committing me somewhere.
“Relax,” Big says, his voice filled with sleep. He presses his mouth against my neck, and I melt into him as my heart flutters in my chest. He always makes me feel safe, as if nothing in the world could touch me as long as I’m in his arms.
“I love waking up with you.” For so long I’ve felt lost. Right now, I don’t. I’m right where I want to be.
“Good.” He kisses me again.
I shift, wanting to be closer to him, but I’m already pressed up tight to him.
He’s wrapped around me like I’m the most precious thing in the world to him, and he’s protecting me. No one has ever made me feel like he does. He accepts me just as I am. It’s not about what’s on the outside; he loves me for who I really am.