But no matter how bad I wanted it, I didn’t want him to feel pressured to do so. He didn’t have to prove anything to me. If he never wanted to get fucked, I’d be happy with that, too.
I let go of his ass, then slipped my hands under the hem of his shirt and skated my palms across his lower back. He hummed at the contact.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” I said. “Now. Or ever. It’s not a requirement.”
Nix pulled back, then tipped the back of his head against the door. He arched one eyebrow, in that insanely endearing way he had, and then bit his lip around a smile. “I know,” he said. “I want to.” He looped his arms around my neck. “I want to so, so fucking badly.”
I groaned, burying my face in his neck as I grabbed his ass again. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said. “God, I want it. Been thinking about it.”
“Jesus,” I panted.
“Want to feel you inside me,” he murmured. “Want to come on your cock.”
My hips jerked of their own accord, and my cock pulsed hard where it was trapped in my jeans. Desire ran down my spine like a physical touch, and I drew my tongue across the smooth skin of his neck. Fuck, I needed him under me now.
“Come on,” I said. It took a lot of self-control, but I dragged myself off him and pulled him toward the bedroom.
I corralled him inside, then kicked the door close and shoved Nix onto the bed. Nix landed on the mattress, laughing, then sprawled back lazily with his legs spread wide and fingers interlaced behind his head. “Excited?”
I rolled my eyes, then stripped my shirt off in one smooth motion. Nix’s expression went from teasing to wanting in an instant, his lips slightly parted as his gaze traveled over my chest. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my jeans, tugging them down, and Nix’s gaze zeroed in on the motion.
“Are you?” I teased.
“Fucking hell, Dawson,” Nix said. He stripped his own shirt off, too.
“Jeans, too,” I said as I did the same thing.
Finally, we were both in just our briefs, and I crawled onto the bed over him, settling over his hips so I could kiss him deeply and hungrily. I maneuvered us up the mattress, kissing him as I slid my hand up and down his muscled chest. The kiss was fucking hot, and promising, but without the urgency. I still wanted him just as badly, but I wanted this to be amazing for him.
Nix sighed into the kiss, his mouth open and lazy against mine. I dipped my fingers under the waistband of his briefs. Where we were pressed together on the bed, I could feel the hard curve of his cock against my hip. His heart beat hard and fast, and under my touch, he was a little tense.
“Hey,” I said. I kissed his neck, his collarbones, shoulder. “You okay?”
Nix laughed softly, then slid his hand over my shoulder and across my nape. Like he was grounding himself. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Just—just a little nervous.”
“That’s normal,” I said. I kissed his chest, right over his heart. “You know you can stop me at any time, right?”
Nix nodded, and some of the tension in his body eased. “I know.”
“Or just slow me down. Or ask me to do something different.” I peppered his chest with more kisses. “Just tell me what feels good and what doesn’t.” I looked up to meet his eyes, and his gaze was soft. “I want to take care of you,” I said. “Want you to feel good.”
“You always make me feel good,” Nix sighed. “I trust you.”
My heart somersaulted in my chest. I surged back up to kiss him hard, then fumbled in my nightstand for the lube. Nix watched me with his lower lip drawn in between his teeth, a flush coloring his cheeks. He was still nervous, that much was clear, but now instead of tension in his expression, there was a little anticipation. He’d seen how good he’d made me feel, fucking me brainless, and now I wanted to make him feel the same way.
I dropped the lube on the mattress next to us, then slowly, slowly peeled Nix out of his underwear. He lifted his hips to help me, blushing harder as I pulled them down his strong legs and then tossed them aside. I paused and smoothed my hands up his chest, gazing down at him. Stretched out like this, his lean muscles were taut and defined, and his cock was flushed and hard against his belly.
“God, you’re so gorgeous,” I said.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” Nix said with a quirk of his brow.
I laughed, then leaned down. I drew my tongue up the length of his cock, from base to tip, and Nix gasped in delighted surprise. I adored his cock—hot, hard, soft-skinned—I loved the feeling of it in my mouth, too. I couldn’t resist closing my lips around the head, just to hear Nix shiver and sigh at the sensation.
I didn’t want to get him too worked up, though, not yet. I kissed his hip gently, then guided him to spread his legs a little wider. I kept mouthing lazy kisses on his hip as I drizzled lube over my fingers, getting myself nice and slick to prepare him.
Then I slid my hand low, in between his handsomely muscled ass cheeks to press against his hole. I didn’t slide inside, not yet, just stroked my slick fingers across the soft skin to get him used to the feeling. Nix shuddered, tilting his hips back to encourage me to touch him.
“Feels good,” Nix murmured. “Come on, I’m not gonna break.”
“Oh, now you’re eager?” I asked with a smile. I loved being this close to him, dropping kisses on his hips, abs, cock, petting at him teasingly until he was shifting restlessly beneath my touch.
Then I slowly, slowly, slid one finger inside him.
Nix exhaled hard at the feeling, not quite a sigh but not quite a huff—an unsure sound of desire. I swallowed hard and rutted my hips against the mattress a little, desperate for pressure against my aching cock.
“S’weird,” Nix said.
“Yeah, it gets better,” I said, grinning up at him.
“Get to that part, then,” he said.
“So demanding,” I said warmly, and slid another finger inside him. Nix made that same exhale again, and a flush built in his cheeks and spread down to his chest. I began to fuck my fingers into him a little faster—God, he was so fucking tight. And I was the first person to ever touch him like this. A possessive thrill raced through me, and I sucked the head of his cock into my mouth again.
Nix moaned at the feeling, his hips shifting restlessly like he wasn’t sure if he wanted my fingers or my mouth more. I sucked hard as I fucked my fingers deep inside him, then curling them a little, searching for that place inside him where—
“Oh!” Nix cried out, back arching. “Oh, fuck, Dawson.”
Right there. I hummed in pleasure around his cock as I kept my fingers curled at that same angle, fucking him slowly and thoroughly, making sure to drag my fingers over his sweet spot repeatedly. Soon I had three inside him, fucking him and sucking him off in rhythm that had him moaning and arching off the bed. He was so responsive, and I was the one who’d made him fall apart like this. Arousal raced through me, my cock throbbing hard in my briefs.
“Dawson,” Nix demanded suddenly, tugging at my hair. “Stop, stop.”
I pulled off his cock and slowly withdrew my fingers. “You okay?”
Nix gazed at me with his eyes wide and his lips swollen, sweat beading on his forehead and in the hollow of his throat. “Gonna come,” he admitted. “Want you to fuck me. Want to come on your cock.”