“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He takes my chin in his hand, his fingers stroking down the vein in my neck. I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding. I try not to look in his dark eyes, but his face is right in mine, so close I can smell his aftershave and the mint of his toothpaste.
“Don’t lie to me, Mia. I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you know better than to lie to me.”
“Did he die?” I ask.
“Thanks to your efforts, no.”
I bring my hand to his, hoping he’ll loosen his grip. Something about the control he has over me is both frightening and intoxicating. He’s definitely not a boy anymore. He’s a man, and he’s well aware of the power he has.
Rafal and Fabian come back into the living room. “She’s not here,” Fabian says.
“She was gone before I got home last night. I have no idea where she would’ve went. She was mad at me for calling the paramedics. She’s probably not going to answer the phone if I call. I’m sorry.”
Serafin moves his hand from my neck and starts stroking my hair, like I’m a good dog who just did a trick. Shame floods my body. I don’t know why I like pleasing him, but on some primal level, I do.
“You’re not in trouble,” he says in a soothing voice, and I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Not yet, at least.”
I pace over to the couch and sink down on it, hanging my head in my hands. “I’m not a hooker,” I blurt out. “I know what it looks like, but that’s not what was going on in that room last night.”
“Of course you aren’t. Why turn tricks for money when it’s so much easier to just fucking rob unsuspecting guys?” Fabian shouts.
“Hey!” Serafin says. “Knock it off. I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for this.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a pained laugh. “You always want to see the good in me, Serafin. You always want to give me the benefit of the doubt. Did you ever think that maybe I’m just a shitty person?”
“I know you’re a shitty person,” Fabian says. “You left my best friend in the street to die and you ran off while he spent the next year in the hospital. Do you know how hard it was every day trying to explain to him that you weren’t coming back? You didn’t have to sit by his side every day while he fought for his life and listen to him worry about you. You went off to live your life and get married while we stayed here and cleaned up the mess. You might have moved on, but he’s still reliving that night every day. This man is so fucking blinded by whatever spell you have him under, he thinks he should swoop in and save you, but I see you, Mia. I know exactly what kind of person you are.”
“Enough!” Serafin growls, pushing Fabian out of the way.
I slowly stand up from the couch, my entire body shaking. I can feel my eyes start to flush with tears, but I don’t want to cry. Not in front of them.
“He’s right,” I mutter, my voice wavering. “You don’t owe me anything. Just tell me what I need to do to make this right, and I’ll be out of your way.”
Serafin reaches for my hand, but I pull away. It’s easier for me to be the person his friends think I am. It’s easier to be the person Janka made me into, a sleazy con artist, than explain to him what his parents did to me. It’s easier to take the hate than for him to have to realize his mother and father are monsters.
Plus, I’m the one who signed that contract. Just being within six feet of him is enough to violate it.
“Get your shit,” Rafal says. “You’re coming with us.”
“Excuse me?” I ask.
“If you can’t take us to Janka, we’re going to have to hope she comes to you.”
“I don’t think she will,” I admit. “I think she’s long gone.”
“Well then, I guess you’ll finally get to know what it feels like to be abandoned,” Fabian says with a wink. “Now go get your shit, or I’ll pack for you.”
I gulp, tiptoeing back to my bedroom. I grab a ratty suitcase from underneath my bed and stuff it with what little belongings I have left. Serafin stands in the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets. I wish he would say something, anything, but he just stares across the room at my painting.
“Am I going to get arrested?” I ask as I zip up my suitcase. “Is he going to press charges?”
He just shrugs and walks across the room, grabbing my freshly painted canvas off the floor and tucking it under his arm.
“What if I say no?” I shout after him. “What if I just refuse to come with you? You guys aren’t in charge of me. What if I scream?”
He shakes his head and walks out the door. “Why don’t you call up your ex husband and ask him for some advice?”
“Why are you being so mean all of a sudden?” I ask.
He turns and stares me down, his face blank and somber. “I guess I finally just realized you never gave a fuck about anybody but yourself. After all these years you finally had a chance to say it was all a misunderstanding and the only thing you have to say for yourself is that you don’t want to go to jail.”
“Serafin, this is not the place for this conversation,” I say. “It’s complicated. We need to do this in private.”
“Do you see these two men?” he asks. Rafal and Fabian stand in my living room, their arms crossed over their muscular chests. “They were here for me when you abandoned me. They took my shit for the last twelve years. They never left my side. You can tell me whatever you want, and I’d probably believe you, Mia. It’s in my nature. I’d bend the world the world for you, even now, but if you really want to make things right, you’re going to have to convince them, too.”
Rafal pulls a toothpick out of his pocket and flips it between his lips, raising his eyebrows at me. Fabian won’t even look me in the eye. My heart breaks for the millionth time knowing what a monster these men think I am. I loved Serafin more than anyone in the world. We were only kids back then, and I was only doing what his parents wanted from me. I thought adults were the ones who knew best back then. It’s only since I’ve reached my thirties that I realized we’re all just figuring it out as we go.
I wipe a tear from my eyes and hang my head. “I know what Janka and I did was wrong, but nobody was ever supposed to get hurt. I was just trying to get back on my feet after my divorce. Nobody would hire me when they heard my married name. My ex husband made sure I’d never be able to take care of myself.”
“Save the sob story,” Fabian says, patting me on the back as he starts leading me towards the door. Rafal roughly grabs my bag and tosses it over his shoulder. “I’m sure Jakub will have something for you to do to pay off your debt to him for the watch and money Janka lifted. Maybe if you’re really good at it he’ll hire you full time.”
I gulp. I know what Jakub hired Janka to do, but having sex with some wrinkled up old guy for money is not a low I’m willing to accept for myself. I think about how far and how fast I can run before these guys catch me. Maybe if I create a diversion or pretend like I have to pee and shimmy down the fire escape, I can make it down to Main Street and Catch a taxi.