Her gaze shifted to the ornate cabinet next to the chair where Lucas had been sitting the night before. “What about that album you were looking at last night?”
“How do you know about that?”
“I came down for some water and—”
“And figured you’d spy on me?”
“No, it wasn’t like that,” she sputtered. “I…I just… When I saw—”
“It’s none of your business what you saw.” Lucas pushed to his feet. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, lady, coming into my home and invading my privacy like that.” A vein pulsed in his neck. “And now you’re going to try and tell me what I should do with all the crap in my life? Go to hell.”
Paige wanted to explain. To start over. To go back in time. But he was gone before she could even utter an apology, taking the front stairs two at a time as he stormed up to bed.
She slumped back against the couch. He wasn’t wrong; he was just venting about the wrong situation. Because while she hadn’t been spying on him the night before, she had invaded his privacy when she’d snooped around the bedrooms he’d specifically told her were off-limits.
She deserved everything he’d said and more.
Paige stroked the momma dog’s head. She’d come to the island to celebrate being single, and yet for some reason, the lifestyle she’d come to cherish suddenly rang hollow. “Looks like it’s just you and me.” The dog licked Paige’s palm. At least someone in the house didn’t hate her. She tossed another log on the fire, then arranged a blanket and one of the toss pillows into a makeshift bed on the floor before curling next to the litter of pups. “Goodnight, guys,” she whispered. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Chapter 9
Lucas stormed up the stairs, and when he reached the tiny room he now called his, he slammed the door. Not because he was mad at Paige—she really hadn’t done anything wrong by coming downstairs for a glass of water—but because he was mad at himself. Partly for being such a horse’s ass and biting her head off and partly for the fact that he’d nearly kissed her. Twice.
He wasn’t entirely sure he was going back into the B and B business, but either way, his sister was right. He didn’t need his bad behavior documented online for all the world to read. If Sophie thought a review that mentioned limits on hot water usage would be bad, she’d really flip over one about an innkeeper who couldn’t keep his hands to himself.
But Paige had looked so beautiful in the firelight, and in the quiet moments, it was all he could do not to take her in his arms. There were times he could have sworn she felt the same way. Like when he’d put his hand on her cheek and her lips parted in invitation. It was the perfect opportunity, but instead of kissing her senseless, he’d merely wiped a bit of chocolate off her lower lip. Smooth, Croft. Forget striking out; he hadn’t even bothered to take a swing.
Lucas groaned. He was doing it again, acting like Paige was a potential hookup, when, in fact, she was a paying guest. Of course, it didn’t help matters that he’d come upstairs to find her standing buck-ass naked in the hallway. The sight of her, all slick and soft feminine curves, had been like a shot of adrenaline right to his dick. He didn’t think he’d ever been so hard in his life, something that wasn’t lost on his houseguest. He wasn’t sure if she even realized what she was doing, but in that moment, the one before the hasty covering and the fumbled apology, her gaze had dropped and her eyes had flared. And then her teeth had sunk ever so slightly into her bottom lip, and all he could think about was having those lips wrapped around…
Holy hell.
Lucas ran a hand through his hair. It didn’t matter how much he’d wanted to press her against that wall, or how later he’d wanted to lay her out in front of the fire, taking his time to explore every inch of her until neither of them could wait one second longer. He needed to get a grip. And not just on how he was acting around Paige, but on his life in general. He owed it not only to Maddie, but to Jenny’s memory as well.
He climbed into his makeshift bed. Lucas knew it was ridiculous that he still slept on the floor in the spare room. But that first night alone, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep in their bed. He was too afraid he would reach across the mattress in the middle of the night to find nothing but emptiness. The small twin bed didn’t leave much room for false hope or expectations, and somehow that made it easier to sleep.
But not tonight.
He didn’t remember falling asleep, but when he did, he dreamed of Jenny for the first time in months. The other times his late wife had visited his subconscious had been truly dreamlike. Soft-focused and ethereal, they were as delicate as the early-morning mist. But this time it was different. This time her image was so vivid, her presence so lifelike, Lucas could have sworn that it was real.
She came to him like she always did, wearing the pale-yellow sundress she’d had on the day he proposed. He’d brought her a bouquet of daffodils, which she swore were her favorite though he suspected she’d told him that because at the time, stealing a few from his neighbor’s garden was all he could afford. Years later, she’d planted daffodil bulbs in front of the inn so whether they’d been her favorite all along or not, they’d certainly taken on a special meaning after that day, which was why Lucas wasn’t at all surprised to see this dream version of her holding a bouquet of the bright-yellow flowers.
Jenny sat on the porch in one of the rockers. As he drew closer, she looked up at him and smiled. “She has your eyes.”
“Maybe, but the rest of her is all you,” Lucas replied.
Jenny laughed. The delicate sound was the sweetest torture to his ears. “She does have my crazy curls.”
That he knew. Lucas had spent countless mornings trying to tame Maddie’s dark mane into submission, but he never complained because running a brush through his daughter’s hair felt like a tangible connection to a past she was slowly forgetting. Most days he pulled it all back into pigtails, but on the rare occasion that she wanted to leave it down, she was the spitting image of her mother, something he was quick to point out.
“I miss you” was all he said. Three simple words that held so much truth.
Jenny grew more serious. “I’m okay, Luc.” She was suddenly in front of him. No standing, no walking. She was just…there. “And you will be too.” Then she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Even asleep, part of him knew it wasn’t real, but that’s not how it felt. Unlike the movies, where ghosts were cold and had no touch, he could feel Jenny’s lips on his cheek, her warm breath on his face, and when he reached for her, he wasn’t grasping thin air, but rather soft skin.
“How…”
She pressed a finger to his lips, and he felt that too. He wanted to believe she was real, to open his eyes and know that Jenny was back in his arms and in his life, but even asleep he knew it wasn’t true. All he could do was enjoy the moment before it vanished.