Lucas laughed. “You’re a horrible liar.”
“Okay, maybe a little more than that,” Paige admitted. “But I can still tell how much work it must have been.”
“Took forever.” Lucas drew a deep breath. He’d reached the point of the story where things would take a dark turn. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. And then my wife died at the ripe old age of twenty-nine would be a surefire conversation killer.
Paige seemed to sense his uncertainty. Her expression softened. “How long has she been gone?”
“Just over two years,” he said. “She went to the store and…” He paused to regroup. No matter how many times he told the story, this part still ripped him apart. “The doctor said it was a cerebral aneurysm. Didn’t make sense. She didn’t smoke, didn’t have high blood pressure. And no one in her family had any history. Not that logic mattered. She collapsed in the store and was gone in minutes.” He focused his gaze on a grain pattern that stretched the length of the wooden countertop. “Paramedics said there was nothing they could do.”
Lucas paused to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. But when he tried to speak again, he found he had no words. He looked up at Paige and their eyes met, and for the first time he felt as though someone understood him. And not just in a way that expressed condolences or concern, but someone who really understood how it felt to have found love and lost it.
Neither of them spoke for several minutes. It was Paige who finally broke the silence. “I can’t imagine having to pick up the pieces after that,” she whispered.
“Believe me,” he said. “There were days I didn’t even want to try.” When he got the call that Jenny had died, his first thought was that he wanted to go with her. After all, they’d stood before God and their families and promised to spend their lives together, and lives were supposed to be a hell of a lot longer. Their marriage was meant to be a hell of a lot longer. It wasn’t the deal he’d signed up for, so why should he honor the lines about till death do us part? Why did death have to mean the end of their love?
But then he’d had his second thought: Maddie. That sweet girl was the manifestation of everything he and Jenny had meant to each other. Now she was left with only one parent to keep the promise they’d both made to her the morning she was born. We’ll always take care of you. Jenny couldn’t hold up her end of that promise, so it all fell on Lucas’s shoulders. He’d never felt so unprepared for a job in his entire life, but he kept going, dragging himself out of bed each morning not only for Maddie, but for Jenny. He couldn’t bring his wife back to her daughter, but he vowed he was damn well going to try to fill the void.
“How did you get through it?”
“My sister was a huge help,” he said, knowing full well that was the understatement of the century. Sophie had been by his side every step of the way the last two years. She’d come with him to the hospital when he had to do the unthinkable and claim his young wife’s body, and she’d stayed with him while he made all of the necessary arrangements. “To be honest, I barely even remember those first few days. She took care of everything.” Aside from caring for Maddie, which he was somehow able to do without fail, he was barely able to function. But thanks to Sophie, the necessary decisions were made, the flowers were ordered, and the church was booked. Not that different from their wedding but for the color of the clothing and the fact that Jenny was alone on the altar. Funny how some of life’s biggest moments had some of the same rituals.
“You’re lucky to have her so close,” Paige said.
Not trusting his voice, Lucas merely nodded. Although he often complained about just how close, the truth was he owed his sister more than he could ever repay. She’d seen him through his grief-filled fog and every horrible night after. And don’t even get him started on what a help she’d been with Maddie. He gave her shit for all the sparkles and glitter she introduced into his daughter’s life, but if it weren’t for Sophie, Maddie would probably be sporting a crew cut by now. No way he could have dealt with those curls on his own. At least not right away. Which brought him to the other truth he needed to share…
“I have a daughter,” he said. “Her name is Maddie.” The thought of his life with her brought a smile to his face. She’d not only gotten him through that dark time, but she was still pulling him through the memories.
“How old is she?” Paige asked. Lucas hadn’t given much thought to dating, so he’d certainly never considered how a woman might react to the news that he came as part of a package deal. But Paige seemed unfazed by this information and, if anything, genuinely interested.
“Four.” He gave a small laugh. “She’ll be five in a few weeks, which, as she is constantly reminding me, means she won’t be a baby anymore.”
Paige smiled. “Five going on fifteen?”
He nodded. “I blame her Aunt Sophie. Maddie is perfectly content to fish and skip rocks when she’s with me, but then she spends the day with her aunt and it’s all glitter nail polish and,” Lucas cringed, “boy-band music.”
“Hey, don’t be knocking boy bands.” Paige sat up a little taller on her stool. “I’ll have you know I had a Backstreet Boys poster on my wall when I wasn’t much older than she is.”
Lucas groaned. “Guess I should be grateful she hasn’t redecorated her room.”
“Oh, but she will. I hate to break it to you, but what you’re seeing now is just the tip of the iceberg. Pretty soon there will be YouTubers in your life.”
“Already happened.” He grimaced. “Her favorite show is some kid opening toys.” He shook his head. “Guess I’m the dinosaur for thinking Barney was still a thing.”
Then they both laughed. Was he really smiling and even laughing after reliving the events of the last two years? Sophie would no doubt tell him that was progress. Lucas didn’t know about that. What he did know was that it felt good to be able to speak of the past without feeling the crushing weight of overwhelming grief.
“You’ll be fine,” Paige said. She was talking about navigating Maddie’s teenage years, but Lucas knew she meant it in the broader sense as well. And for the first time, Lucas agreed. He would be fine. So would Maddie. Still didn’t mean he wanted a teenager anytime soon.
“I don’t want her to grow up too quickly. It’s already flying by.” A friend of his mom’s had given him some advice at Maddie’s christening. She’d told him to enjoy every moment because “while the days will feel long, the years will be short.” At the time, he didn’t fully understand what she meant, but he was starting to.
“What about you?”
“Me?” She stiffened. The movement was subtle, but not lost on Lucas. “Oh, I don’t have any kids.” That wasn’t what he meant, but now that he realized the miscommunication, he could understand her reaction. No doubt she was regularly inundated with questions on the topic. It never ceased to amaze him how people could be so pushy when it came to something so personal. He and Jenny had experienced it pretty much from the moment they walked down the aisle. “When are you going to start a family?” “You’re not getting any younger,” and his favorite, “Time to get a bun in that oven.”