“Every day I’m grateful for what I have.” In the military, he’d seen things that would haunt him forever. While working for Hawkeye, he’d done things that would haunt him forever. The world was big—that was true. But home was where he’d healed. He’d been there for his grandmother and continued the Walker legacy. “The connection with the land, the responsibility…” He glanced at Saddle Mountain, then back at Elissa with her beautiful, soulful eyes. “I’ve recognized it for what it is. A privilege, rather than a burden. But it’s not for everyone. It can be lonely, and the winters are long.”
“There are trade-offs, though. Right? The peace. I’ve been really creative out here.” She looked into the distance for a moment. “I know you don’t work for Hawkeye anymore. But it seems like a part of you. Like the biometrics and the panic room. Normal people don’t live like that.”
“No?”
“You mentioned the loneliness. Is there part of you that misses being an agent?”
“I’ve chosen to live in the present. I told him to fuck off when he first approached me about this job.”
She traced a bead of condensation as it wended its way down the side of her glass. “Then why am I here? Why did you change your mind?”
“He showed me a picture of you.”
She stilled.
“There was no way I could say no.”
“And why the name Operation Wildflower?”
It’d been fanciful, maybe. But it fit. “Your eyes.” He took a drink of his merlot. “Reminded me of columbines. They were my grandmother’s favorite. I’d pick them for her, and she always pretended they were the greatest gift ever.”
“My mom was the same with dandelions.” She grinned. “But when you think about it, it means we wanted to give them a gift, and when you have no money, what else do you do?”
He liked the way she saw the world.
The sun moved toward the horizon, and she shivered.
“We can clean up here, then finish our wine near the firepit while we watch the sun set.”
“That sounds perfect.”
Within minutes, their chores were done, and they were back outside. He held a lighter to the kindling. It caught almost right away, and a soft crackle filled the air.
He sat on one end of the couch, and she curled up at the other beneath a blanket he’d carried out for her.
The first hint of orange brushed the high, wispy clouds.
“It’s impossibly quiet out here.” She took a sip of her wine.
“You’re happy in the city?”
“To be honest, I’ve never really thought about it. It never occurred to me to move away from my parents. I went to college, got my own place, but my parents and the pub mean the world to me.”
“The constant movement.”
“It’s electric in a way, never silent. Kids playing. People coming and going at all hours—myself included. Parties. Even noise from televisions. But this…”
“I’ve grown accustomed to it. You can hear the world in a whole new way. The birds. The wind in the trees.”
“Horses neighing.”
“You were watching.”
“I couldn’t help myself.”
It was an intimate confession, one he didn’t respond to, choosing instead to allow the time to unfurl as she wanted.
“You had a rope on the saddle.”
Jason hid his grin behind his glass. “I know how to use it.”
As usual Waffle appeared from nowhere, leaping onto the couch, to land between them. She head-butted Jacob’s leg before plopping down to clean herself.
“Where does she go?”
“She patrols the property, and she has a pet door entrance into the garage. She has a bed, and when it gets cold, I have a heat lamp to keep her warm.” He stroked the feline’s head. “We haven’t had a single issue with mice or skunks since she took up residence. Even the raccoons seem to have packed up their babies and moved somewhere else.”
“She earns her keep.”
For a few minutes, Elissa watched as the sun sank behind Saddle Mountain. Then she faced him and took a deep breath. “Have you ever had a submissive?”
Though the question didn’t surprise him, her directness did. “As in a twenty-four-seven relationship?” When she nodded, he answered. “No.” Guessing she was looking for a more detailed answer, he examined his own motivation, maybe for the first time. “My lifestyle has never been conducive to that kind of commitment. In the military, I was Special Forces, and I deployed a lot.” He shrugged. “Then after Peru—”
“So you were there.”
He didn’t acknowledge her statement. “I went to work for Hawkeye. Then when we nearly lost the ranch, I knew I needed to be here for my grandmother. She deserved that.”
She propped a pillow behind herself, bringing her a little closer to him. “You’re a good man.”
“I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. Bad things.”
“All of us have regrets.”
Some were easier to live with.
The fire crackled and hissed, and the automatic outdoor lights turned on. They weren’t bright—rather they provided enough illumination to add ambience and safely maneuver around.
He’d enjoyed the patio more since she arrived than he had in the past few years. Though she hadn’t been here long, she was already affecting his life.
Last night, it had taken him over an hour to fall asleep. He’d told himself it was because he heard every one of Elissa’s movements and was concerned for her safety. But the truth was so much more.
As a man, as a Dominant, he noticed everything about her—feminine curves, rumpled hair, feisty attitude, talent, loyalty to her family, even her unintentional submissive air.
It’d been years since he had such an intense reaction to any woman. He’d taken a shower and jacked off while he was in there. Since that hadn’t helped much, he’d masturbated a second time. The rest he eventually managed to get was light and fitful.
When he didn’t go on, she placed her glass on the wicker table. “So you’re not much for relationships?”
He hadn’t been.
When he didn’t respond, she went on. “I think they give our lives meaning.”
Jacob had few friends, even fewer close ones. Maybe he was missing out.
“Have you thought about kids? Having someone to pass the ranch down to?”
“My grandparents want the land to stay in the family.” But managing the holdings was a hell of an obligation, and developers had offered a lot of money for the property.
He could have a nice life somewhere else, debt free, with no responsibilities. Despite the temptation, he’d never been able to sign the papers. The work was meaningful, offering him satisfaction that couldn’t be bought. And he knew his forebearers had struggled and sacrificed. It didn’t seem right to turn his back.
She wrapped the blanket a little tighter around herself, and he stood to toss another couple of logs on the fire.
“What about you? As far as relationships?”
For a moment, she studied the crackling fire, as if deciding how much to reveal. “My first paying commission as an artist was from a Dominant. And that was my introduction to the lifestyle. Before we got started, both he and his submissive gave me an education. We talked about their relationship. I guess the biggest surprise for me was that they each said they received more than they gave.”