She was headed to the wedding of the year, the marriage of debutante Marissa Schumacher and her dashing fiancé, Ethan Evans. Marissa was her best friend since college, a friendship that was thirteen years strong. Her fiancé was Sydney’s former brother in law, Jack’s identical twin. Seeing the identical twin brother of your dead husband get married was certainly not something your average person had to face. And it was with great difficulty that she had even agreed to go to the wedding. To be frank, she wanted to wipe the entire past year from her memory. She knew that one day the events of this year would feel like a distant memory and all the pain it caused would collapse into a dull ache. But she had promised her best friend that she would be there. Sydney was a loyal friend, and this was the biggest day of Marissa’s life.
Marissa and Ethan’s swanky nuptials were to take place on the idyllic white beaches of Jamaica. Several local media magazines from Chicago were flying in to cover the glamorous production. Marissa herself had spent little time planning the event, leaving all the details to a well-known wedding planner named Jessica Gaines. Jessica was known for creating over-the-top events with a price tag to match. Sydney was sure that no expense would be spared in creating a magical, unforgettable experience for everyone who attended. She had searched the hotel website, scouting for spots to shoot her own outfits, and the hotel just oozed glamour and prestige.
As for being maid of honor, Sydney had it easy. All she had to do was show up. Marissa had made it clear to the planner that under no circumstances would Sydney be required to do anything but be there for the wedding. Marissa had graciously left all the maid of honor duties to their other best friend, Elizabeth Ortez. Lizzy, as they affectionately called her, was their college roommate from sophomore year and a dedicated friend. It was apparent to anyone who knew them that Lizzy simply adored Marissa and Sydney.
With Lizzy at the helm of the bachelorette party and bridal shower, Sydney could relax and try to focus on making it through the entire ordeal without having a complete meltdown. She didn’t like to admit to anyone how hard the last few months had been. She had showed up at events with her photographer, Manuel, in tow and he snapped pictures of each soiree with glee. Her followers had been especially responsive and cheered Sydney on as she moved forward with her life. She had to admit, from the outside, it seemed like her life had pretty much gone on without a hitch. But all the pain was just below the surface. She pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and refocused on the upcoming wedding.
As a seasoned traveler, Sydney had been to many islands in the Caribbean but never Jamaica. She was partially looking forward to a change of scenery and the chance to explore a new place that had no memories tied to her past. The thought of the sand bubbling up between her toes and the feeling of the hot sun hitting her freshly spray-tanned skin sounded almost enjoyable to her.
At least all of her 416,000 followers on Instagram would find her trip enviable. Keeping up her social media feed was validation of her successful transition from happy wife to content single woman. The thought of her followers made her almost subconsciously reach for her phone. The sleek iPhone X with its clear acrylic case and Swarovski crystal design felt like home. Just the weight of it in her hand seemed to release some kind of positive chemical response in her brain. She abandoned the soothing sounds of her meditation app and began an endless scroll through all the likes, comments, and tags on her Instagram feed.
Over the last four years, she had delivered a pretty white smile and a fabulous string of carefully crafted outfits. A colorful display of Sydney’s creative vision for her life. She hadn’t sought a career as a professional influencer; it just sort of fell into her carefully styled lap. Makeup and fashion had always been a hobby for Sydney, and when she started posting photos of her everyday outfits, the response had been immediate and positive. Over a few short years, she had built her following from a few hundred friends to several hundred thousand eager fans. The brand partnerships she had developed as well as the steady income from clothing affiliate sales had allowed her to quit her job at a marketing firm and pursue her career online full time.
She hadn’t slowed down since her husband died, and Marissa’s wedding was just another mountain she was determined to climb. Sydney had meticulously packed her bags with just the right collection of resort wear, from beach hats and long caftans to bright lace-up espadrilles and mirrored sunglasses. She had multiple camera lenses, a tripod, and other equipment packed away and ready to make the ideal shot.
Letting her audience down equaled failure and meant facing the fact that maybe life wasn’t so perfect after all. They had all reveled at her strength after her husband’s death and cheered her resilience as a young widow. The comments and messages had come streaming in day after day, giving Sydney a sense of community and comfort, even though they were people she had never met and would likely never share a coffee with.
The death of Jack Evans. It had been six months. Mornings without him were still the hardest. She would wake up, reach her hands across the smooth white sheets of her unmade bed, and search for the warmth of his skin. She wondered when she would stop reaching out and coming up empty-handed.
She missed him. She wondered if that would ever go away. The ache of losing someone you thought would be by your side for life. It pained her to think of the weeks leading up to his death, which were peppered with petty fights and contempt.
Jack had all the trappings of the perfect husband: smart and successful, plus good-looking enough to cause women to stare at him from across a restaurant. He seemed perpetually fit, with a full head of warm-brown hair that had a carefully styled wave to it. Unlike his clean-shaven brother, Jack kept a neatly trimmed beard that bordered on a five o’clock shadow. He had a slight hook in his nose that when he was tan made him look a bit like a Greek god. He was thoughtful, punctual, even stylish. He never left the toilet seat up. They made a fantastic-looking couple, picture-perfect. Although much to her disappointment, they rarely took photographs together.
But there was something about him, a small part he kept hidden. Perhaps it was the way he snapped upright when she walked into his office or the vague answers he gave her after he returned from a business trip. As the co-founder of DoubleDownCasino.com, she knew he had a lot of responsibilities that ranged from his coding and developing to hiring and managing staff. Jack was adamant about keeping his business separate from his personal life, so Sydney didn’t poke or pry too much at home. The sex was great, even if they didn’t talk much anymore. That still makes for a good marriage, right? She realized later, their union was built on a foundation striped with fault lines. It only took small earthquakes for those cracks to become divides. She felt her heart begin to ache again.
No, she told herself, don’t go there. Look ahead.
She did look ahead, right at the flight attendant who was standing over her with a wide grin and brassy blond curls that dusted her shoulders.
“Excuse me, ma’am, may I have a glass of champagne?”
“Right away,” she said with a smile. It was Sydney’s inaugural voyage into first class, and so far, everything was living up to the hype. The seats were more comfortable. The leg room was spacious. The service was quick. Even with her success as an influencer, Sydney felt some things were too extravagant. But Marissa had insisted on paying for her first-class seat. She switched her phone over to selfie mode and quickly snapped a photo, later captioning it “First-class virgin no more.” She stared for a moment at her own image: artfully filled-in eyebrows and long, full eyelashes framing deep-green eyes. She had a petite nose with a round tip that she carefully contoured to make it look longer and narrower. Her lips were a fully plumped shade of pink, a combination of lip fillers and pink liner she used to enhance her natural pout. Her blond hair fell in long waves that nearly hit her waist, compliments of her freshly applied hair extensions. She sighed. It was a perfectly executed look, even if some days she didn’t feel like it looked like her. She hit Post and her first-class photo went live on her feed. The wine arrived just a few minutes later.