“No, it’s for a certain kind of teen too. Someone tuned in to that sense of being on the cusp, who understands all your universal metaphors in a way only they can. An adult reading sees those time and place shifts as a way of going back to their own experience, their wish for better outcomes even as they acknowledge their path had to be their path. For a teen, they represent possible futures, safe ways of exploring. This is going to blow people out of the water.” He shrugged. “And probably upset some people too. But how is that different from your first two books?”
“Yeah, the blowback on Carnivale was rough.” He scratched his chin, thinking. “You know, I can’t get over how much calmer and freer I am when I’m not on social media. I also know more people here than I ever did in LA. Some of that is the function of geography, I’m sure, but I also attribute it to having to actually go talk to people with my face.”
“You’ll want to go back at least in part once you’re done drafting. You like to be on the pulse of things.”
A subtle thread of tension in Jacob’s tone made Rasul glance up, and he saw the answering lines on Jacob’s face. Something about you’ll want to go back had extra meaning.
Oh. Rasul’s coffee turned into sludge in his stomach. Jacob was talking about social media, but he was thinking about Rasul leaving Copper Point.
It was the first crack in their harmonious bubble. Rasul had been so focused on simply finishing, on shedding the albatross of failure from his neck. Of going to bed with Jacob, of sharing his story. The future hadn’t seemed to contain anything else.
It was here now. He needed new goals, but he didn’t have any.
Clearly the future had never been far from Jacob’s mind.
Rasul clutched at his mug. “I don’t want to go back to who I was before I came here.”
“You are the person you were before you came here. You can’t change who you are.”
“I can get my shit together.” Moriarty was huddled on the chair next to him, and Rasul absently stroked the cat’s head. “I think this book rattled me so hard in part because I’ve been trying to have a conversation with myself for a long time, and now I’ve had it. I didn’t want to be scared anymore. Not so much that I had to stay on the run from invisible demons. And as for social media and staying on the pulse of things—you’re right, I enjoy it to a point. But I don’t want it to be something I let consume me ever again the way it did. There were too many days I didn’t open Instagram or Twitter, curious to see what was happening in the world. I opened the apps braced for battle. How is that helpful? I mean, at least Adina has gotten over me, but there will always be an Adina.”
“Oh, Adina isn’t over you.”
Rasul had been focusing on the cat, but with that remark, his head whipped up. So did his heart rate. “What are you talking about?”
Gaze averted, Jacob sipped his coffee. “I… might have opened a personal Instagram to keep tabs on what was going on.”
Jacob had the same badass look he’d worn when he was fucking Rasul the night before. If what he was saying hadn’t been so unsettling, Rasul would have played footsie under the table and tried to coax him back to bed. He couldn’t ignore this, though. “What’s going on? What happened?”
“Word has gotten out, probably through your agent or editor or someone, that you were close to finishing your book. A lot of people are talking about it, including Adina. She’s sort of been hinting for a while, but two days ago she out-and-out said you’ve worked out your differences and are back together. She’s so proud of you, she says.”
Rasul couldn’t believe this. “Why in the world would she do that? Never mind. I know why. But…. Jesus, you and I did that whole thing where we had the fake relationship. And now the real one.”
He remembered that DM she sent, saying she knew he wasn’t really dating, and went cold.
“The funny thing is,” Jacob said, “we documented our relationship better when it was fake. Perhaps that’s it.”
Rasul didn’t think so. “I worry there’s someone here feeding her information.” He told Jacob about the DM, about giving his accounts to Elizabeth to monitor.
Jacob looked pensive. “It’s possible we have a mole here somewhere, but it doesn’t completely hold up. We are dating. We’ve been serious about each other… well, honestly, I think I was from the start, only in denial.”
“Me too. But not in denial.”
Jacob took his hand. “My point is, that shows. If we’d legitimately been faking our relationship, people would have wondered about it. So if there’s someone who is telling her we’re not dating, they’re either very poorly informed or have their own agenda.” He tapped his finger on the top of the table. “I still think the problem is there’s nothing showing we’re dating as far as the world is concerned. A few people here took some updates as intended at first, but since we haven’t gone on public dates in a while and you’ve been working hard for some time, not really leaving the house, there’s nothing more for people to post. And online a few people tried to say they thought we were still together. A few of them are local, in fact—at the college, where they’re not as plugged in to what’s going on in Copper Point proper. But every time someone tries to counter the narrative Adina is pushing, they get attacked.”
Rasul ran a hand through his hair. “God, she must really be struggling in her efforts to get noticed if she’s recycling our relationship like this.”
“Or she honestly has feelings for you.”
Rasul considered Jacob’s point. “I suppose? Possibly? But I really don’t think so. She has a lot of drive, but she also likes shortcuts. It’s why her career isn’t doing well. She’ll work harder to pull one over on people or arrange a side hustle than she will on actively trying to put herself forward in a way that would help her. I think she gets too angry with how rough the business is and convinces herself she deserves better and this justifies whatever means she wants to use.”
“Why exactly did you date her again?”
“I never dated her like you’re thinking. It was more that we got together on the regular, which is a kind of dating, but we didn’t have long deep talks or anything. We partied and we fucked. I hooked up with her because she’s hot and because she can be charming and intriguing when she’s not manically chasing her doomed career. Also at the time I was even more messed up than she was. Misery loves company, and she felt like a way out. Or a faster way down the drain. Depended on the day.”
Jacob humphed and set down his cup.
Rasul studied the man in front of him, thinking about how much he cared for him, thinking for the first time what a future with him would be like. Never had he so much as considered staying in Copper Point, but it dawned on him that staying with Jacob meant remaining here. Jacob had roots, and that was part of what attracted Rasul to him. You didn’t take Moana off her island. You learned to live on the island.
Right now, though, his Moana was jealous and annoyed. He wanted to fix that. “I can log on to my Insta on your phone and snap a picture of us, right now. That would solve the whole thing.”