I pivot to face her. “This irritating trend to rename things.”
“Meaning?”
“For example, decompress,” I say, air quoting the word. “Why can’t you simply say lying on the sofa with your jean button open, inhaling pizza? Why do people need to rename things?”
Anna thinks for a brief moment and nods in agreement. Then something changes about her expression, about the way her eyes glance at me. There’s a tender quality to the moment that unsettles me. As though shaken out of wherever she’d just been transferred to, Anna bumps her shoulder to mine, “It’s starting,” she nods at the screen.
Half-way through the film, a chilled breeze veils the night. I give Anna a quick peek, one of the many I’ve stolen so far. “Hey,” I whisper. “You’re cold.”
She drops her eyes to her fists hidden inside her sleeves and nods in agreement. “It’s a little chilly.”
With my heart thudding a little faster, I drop my legs to the sides and open my arms in invitation. She stares at me for a breath and wordlessly scoots over to nestle between my parted legs with her back to my chest. I’m so glad for the place to be so vibrant, for the sounds coming from the speakers to muffle my heartbeat, the little sharp intake of breath I’m taking when the wind carries her honeyed scent over. Is it just me or does this feel fucking amazing, her in my arms? I’m a bit less attentive as we continue to watch the screen. Occasionally my mind wanders from the person cuddled against me, to the day we just had and how great it was.
“Did you just trace something on me?” Anna whispers, her face tilted my way.
My eyes cut to my finger on her sleeve. I furrow my brows and shake my head in a complete lie. No, I didn’t just trace you’re perfect on your sleeve. Only I totally did.
“This is me,” Anna says as we finally reach her building. She peeks at her phone, “Wow, it’s already tomorrow.” For a moment concern fills her eyes. “When’s your next shift? You need to get some sleep.”
“Sleep? What’s that? Not familiar with the word.”
She chuckles softly.
I reciprocate, mirroring her smile. “Late this evening, I have enough time to recharge.”
She nods twice, appearing a bit apprehensive. “Okay, so goodnight?”
My eyes hold hers for a stretched, silent moment while my mind is reeling insanely like I’ve got just a few seconds to answer a million-dollar question. I snake my arm around her waist and pull her to me. My mouth collides with hers with such urgency. As our lips mesh, we both let out a relieving sigh that is followed by strangled moans as we but devour each other in burning necessity. It’s an elusive moment of utter enchantment, yet greater uncertainty. Yeah, that just happened . . . in my head. And in that moment I make a hard choice. I’m not going to take things a step further. Not now anyway. I volley my impulse to have my lips on hers and instead do the most logical thing I can think of under such immense tension. I give her the most brotherly hug I can and quickly step back to push the door to the building open. I hold it for her, signaling night’s over, goodbye.
Somewhat surprised, and maybe a little . . . disappointed? Anna blinks and then quickly recovers. She follows my wordless lead and disappears behind the heavy door, saying goodnight one more time.
Wow, the holism of this night, this moment – my head’s spinning. I drop to sit on the stairs, feeling like I’ve been knocked flat on my ass. Tonight, for the first time in my life I feel like someone else can affect my future, well-being, and plans.
The night begged to be sealed with a kiss. This was, well, this all day exceeded any expectations. Things like that seldom happen. The easiness, the connection, the chemistry. I’m literally blown away. God’s testing me, sending me my future way before it’s due course.
What now? Seriously, what now?
Tonight, for the first time, I’m scared of the future because it feels like it has become unknown.
Chickens Can Fly (just not very far)
Anna to CHICKENS: Morning Chickens, I’m just going to leave this little quote I saw earlier in a book here for you, enjoy! “If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.”
Victoria to CHICKENS: Literally laughing my gluteus maximus off. I always knew you guys were holding me back. Bahawawa.
Anna to CHICKENS: We love you too, sis.
Pandora to CHICKENS: I’d cluck with y’all anytime.
Kayla to CHICKENS: Fuck thems eagles, they scavenge dead animals. Yeah, sneaky petty thieves, thank you but no thank you. Chickens rock.
Anna to CHICKENS: Chickens empowerment, baby.
“Hi,” I greet the group of clients getting ready in the locker room. Even though my mind is preoccupied with thoughts about the last two days of radio silence from Liam, I can still hear some of the conversations going on around me. But yeah, my mind is pretty immersed in thoughts. Not only did Liam end our perfect day together in an awkward way, but he also followed it up in the same fashion by not really following up. Oh, excuse me for missing this little gem. He actually hammered the idea of his strange goodbye with an even lovelier “quote of the day” text that arrived a few long minutes after he left, while I was still reeling from the whole day and his peculiar adieu.
Liam: “He who hesitates is sometimes saved.”
Now, up until that moment, all of Liam’s quotes were of the sarcastic realm and as such I took them. That one somehow didn’t feel like it was a variant of said cynical sphere. Especially after how he left things. It felt a bit like a prophecy, to which I replied with, “Indecision is the greatest thief of opportunity.” And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the last anyone saw of him. We’re well over the prerequisite 48 hour wait before filing a missing person report. Disappeared off the face of the earth with no real hasta la vista, baby.
“Over six months post-baby and I still look like I’m about to give birth.”
“I don’t understand this. It’s like belly fat never leaves. Once it’s there it’s there forever.”
“It’s not a double chin anymore, it’s like I somehow managed to grow a third one.”
“These stretch marks . . . no matter what I try they just won’t go away.”
I shake my head at the self-criticism coming from this room full of beautiful, ambitious, smart women. It bothers me enough to quiet down the Liam thoughts.
“Hey, do you mind staying for another fifteen minutes after the lesson?” I ask the ladies sitting on the mats before me, ready for an intensive Pilates class.
They exchange questioning looks, some shrug, some give the clock on the wall a glance and most of them nod in agreement. “What for?” It’s the eldest of the group. A grey-haired, chemist with a fit physique and witty mouth. “Anything special?”
I smile at her, “An experiment I’d like to try with you if that’s okay.”
Another round of agreement and we start the lesson. “Lie flat on your back, extend your legs long. Arms above your head.” I run my eyes over each one of my clients, making sure they’re following my lead. After a short warmup, I declare, “Teaser time, ladies.” I let out a brief laugh to the grunts of protest coming my way. “You got this. Come on, legs in tabletop position, now, legs and torso raise to a “V” shape. Great!”