Rhett held out his thumb and index finger about an inch apart. "Just a little bit."
"You know I've never minded. I understand the reason."
Rhett nodded. "I do know. And I get you're in a tough place because you probably think you're hurting or disappointing me, but you're not." He hated how tight his throat was, how close he was to tears. "I'm thrilled for you two. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, and seeing you and Henley together… God, the sparks are enough to start a fire. I want this for you."
"But at the same time, it's okay to be sad things are changing…" Henley said. "I would never take Levar from you, nor would I ever do anything to get between the two of you, but none of us can deny that my arrival onto the scene has changed things for you. And I’d understand if you had feelings about that, even if you're not angry or upset. I just wanted to tell you that."
Rhett couldn't speak. If he tried now, he would lose it, and the whole situation was already humiliating enough as it was. Both Henley and Levar had shown incredible understanding, but it was sad as fuck he was this dependent on someone who wasn't family or a boyfriend. Levar deserved the space to develop his relationship with Henley because those two belonged together.
So he merely nodded, then managed a quick "excuse me" and fled into his room, where he lost the fight against his tears. He hid his face in his pillow, desperately trying to muffle his sobs so Levar wouldn't hear them and come running.
It took him a few minutes to calm down, and when he did, something had shifted inside him. Crying because his best friend wouldn't spend Thanksgiving with him but instead preferred to go with his boyfriend, as he should? Pathetic. He had to build a life that didn't include Levar. At least, not to lean on. To fall back on, yes, but he had to learn how to stand on his own two feet, walk his own path. It was way past time.
He needed more friends. A boyfriend. He didn't want to be lonely, not on the holidays, not ever. It was time to make some changes, to do whatever he needed to break through this cycle of being a permanent resident of Loserville.
He sighed. Yes, he was being too hard on himself. Being single didn't equal being a loser, and neither did being a virgin. But being a single virgin who was on his own for Thanksgiving? Maybe a little.
But this would be the last time. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, then balled his fists. No more feeling sorry for himself. If he wanted things to be different by this time next year, by god, he'd make the changes. He would do whatever he had to do to find himself a boyfriend. Decision made, he nodded. Now, where to start?
11
"You're not celebrating Thanksgiving with your parents or in-laws?" Levar asked the president.
Calix leaned back in his chair. They were doing their daily five-minute brief with Levar to keep him apprised of ongoing issues. He already knew what Del was going to say; they had agreed on it together. As far as Calix was concerned, it had been an easy call.
"Sarah and I feel that, under the circumstances, staying here is the best option. It's far less work for the Secret Service, which means fewer agents will be needed, allowing more to celebrate the holiday with their own families."
"And it wasn't an option to invite your parents to join you here?"
The president let out a sigh, his face tightening. "Levar, this is not something the public needs to know, but Sarah is still not doing well. The White House doctor has diagnosed her with arrhythmia, most likely due to stress. For now, she needs to feel safe, and the residence is the best place for that. And even though she wouldn't have to lift a finger, having my or her parents over would add pressure for her, since neither of them are aware of her condition. We didn't want to worry them, and besides, the more people who know, the bigger the chances of this leaking. So for Thanksgiving, it'll just be the three of us with Milan, Sarah's brother."
"I'm so sorry to hear that, Mr. President. Please tell the first lady she's in my thoughts."
Levar's tone was filled with compassion; another reason Calix liked him so much. He was good at his job, sharp as a tack in feeding the press and knowing what to withhold, but he genuinely cared as well.
"I will," the president said. "I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
"You may want to use the Secret Service reason as an excuse why the president is staying home for Thanksgiving," Calix said.
Levar frowned. "To be honest, I'm not sure that's the best strategy. It might reinforce the idea that the Secret Service is understaffed, and I doubt that's the message we want to send."
Del instantly nodded. "Good point. Any suggestions on what we could say?"
"We could ramp up the first Thanksgiving in the White House concept, stress how happy the president is to spend time with his family and how much he values this time together, blah blah blah."
"The blah blah blah will really sell it, I'm sure," Del said dryly.
Calix smiled. "That could work. Thank you, Levar."
"As always, my pleasure. Was there anything else?"
"No. Thank you," Del said.
"Thank you, Mr. President," Levar said, then left the room, leaving Calix and Del together.
"How's Milan settling in?" Calix asked. The three of them had been friends since college, though Calix hadn't had much time to hang out with Milan since Del had become vice president and even less since Markinson had been assassinated. Milan had moved into the residence, and Calix had seen him in passing, but they hadn't had a chance to spend any time together. Calix's schedule was always fully booked. He barely had time to eat and sleep, let alone socialize.
"Getting bored. He amused himself by getting to know his way around the White House. You must've seen him wandering the hallways. He's also been hanging out with Kenn and making sure he was okay, and of course he'd been there for Sarah, but I think the novelty has worn off by now."
Calix chuckled. "It's quite the change from being an NYPD detective to taking a leave of absence and living in a house where you don't have to lift a finger yourself. Though I have to admit the latter part appeals to me, since my house looks like a pigsty right now. If these hours keep up, I may have to move in with you as well."
Del laughed. "Anytime, my friend. It would be a great throwback to our college years."
Calix shuddered. "All I remember from those years was that you snore like a freight train."
"I'm proud to say I still do."
Calix grew serious again. "I'm worried about Sarah. She's strong, but this has all been a lot for her."
"I don't know what to do to help her." Del ran his fingers through his hair, and Calix could imagine. Watching your wife struggle and not being able to do much to fix it had to be hard.
"I'm sure the White House doctor is keeping a close eye on her. Having Kenn home has to help, and Milan's presence will be a comfort for her as well. I think you're doing all you can."
Del lounged back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. "I hope it'll be worth it, the price we're paying, the sacrifices we're making."
Calix slowly nodded. "I hear you. It will be, but unfortunately, we won't be able to tell until afterward."