Her story wraps around my heart and squeezes in the best possible way.
It’s a fight to keep the smile off my face. I keeping walking, circling around to the back of the camper. “I’m glad you told me that story today.”
“Why?” She blinks up at me.
“This is ours.” I pull the keys out of my pocket and unlock the door, rolling it up to show off the small space where I’m planning to load my bike.
Her eyes widen and she stumbles backwards. “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t ride in the van with you guys. It’s too small. Plus, I think you’ll feel better if you have your own space to decorate how you want. Stock it with the food you like. It’ll be more comfortable and give you some privacy.”
“But…but…I thought you said you were going to ride along? On your bike.” She slaps her hand over her mouth, slowly shaking her head. “This is…this is…”
I hadn’t expected her to freak out so much. “The extra space will be useful when a brother’s traveling with us.” I tap the side of the camper. “Two bikes will fit back here.” I point to the bed currently folded into the roof. “In a pinch, that folds down into an extra bed and a couch if we move the bikes.”
“Logan,” she whispers.
I reach for her hand, tugging it away from her mouth.
She shakes her head, still staring at the camper. “This is…we looked at something similar before the tour.” Her gaze slides to the GMC 2500 Sierra that’ll be towing our little home on the road. “I know how expensive a setup like this had to be. You really…I can’t.”
“I can and I did.”
“But it must have cost a fortune.”
I shrug. “I have good credit.”
“I can’t ask you to do this.”
“You didn’t ask me. I honestly think this is the best solution for us. When the tour’s over, I’ll park it in your mom’s driveway.” I wink at her. “Give us a little privacy while we’re in Texas.”
Finally, it seems to sink in that this is real. She jumps and wraps her arms around my neck, squealing and hugging me tight. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“I told you I’m all in, Shelby.”
She pulls back, staring into my eyes for a few seconds before peppering my face with kisses. “Thank you.”
Not wanting to lose contact, I encourage her to wrap her legs around me and carry her to the door. “You want to see the inside?”
“Heck yes.”
I set her down and open the door, motioning for her to step inside first. She’s quiet while she walks through the small space, checking out every little cabinet, drawer, and nook she encounters.
“How did you…I know it’s not my business.” She casts another quick look around the interior. “Does porn really pay this much?”
Rumbling laughter pours out of me. “I do fine.” I shrug. “I’d been saving for a down payment on a house. But what’s the point putting down roots in New York when my girl’s gonna be out on the road?”
“But what about when I’m not on tour? You’ll want to go home. To New York. Now you’ll be stuck driving a big ol’ truck instead of riding your bike.”
I shrug again. She’s really worrying about this way more than she needs to. “I can always hire someone to drive it home. Sell it. Rent a storage place. I’m not worried, Shelby.” A worse thought occurs to me. “Are you afraid of us spending too much time together?”
“I’m afraid you’re making a lot of expensive sacrifices and you’ll end up hating me later.”
“Shelby,” I say as gently as possible. “At some point, you have to trust me. I love you. I want you to be safe and happy. I want to be with you.”
“I wish I was a bigger deal so I already had this stuff sorted.” Pink spreads over her cheeks. “I can’t reciprocate at all. It’s not fair.”
“Fair? This isn’t some fifty-fifty, tit-for-tat thing. I love you and want what’s best for you.” I cock my head. “Do you like singing? Being on stage? Touring?”
“Yes.”
“Are you comfortable in the van?”
“Not really.”
I push her hair off her forehead and stare into her eyes. “You’re my girl. I want you to feel safe and I’ll do whatever needs to be done to take care of you. End of story. There’s no tab at the end of the day. Just my love for you.”
She eyes the camper again. “But this is such a huge…investment for you. With the possibility of no payoff. I may never be—”
“I’m not here for any future payoff. I’m here for you. You’re worth taking the risk on. Our love is worth the risk. I’ve never been good at playing it safe. It’s just not who I am. When I’m in, I’m all in.”
The doctor’s warning at the hospital about letting Shelby make decisions to help her regain a sense of control sends a splinter of doubt slicing through my plan. “I know I did all this without asking you, but I promise all the other decisions are yours. Decorate it inside and out however you want.” My lips quirk. “I even know a guy in Mississippi who can wrap the camper in your flocking fabulous flamingos if you want.”
“You don’t want to be seen driving a vehicle with pink flamingos all over it.”
“Do I look like someone who gives a shit what anyone thinks?” I hold my arms out to the sides.
She cocks her head. “I dunno. You look like a man who’s aware of all the panties he melts.”
I snort at the absurdity, even though she’s just being cute.
She lets out a long sigh. “It’s not just this. I know you paid for my momma to come here too. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not like I hid it.” I shrug. “At what point was it relevant to bring up who paid for her plane ticket?”
“And her hotel room.” Her gaze strays to the floor.
“Shelby, I didn’t lie to you.”
“I wasn’t in my right mind or I would’ve asked.”
“Why does it matter?”
“It’s bad enough if I’m a burden on you, but my mother…especially when she hasn’t been nice—”
“Stop right there. You’re not a burden on me. Please stop saying that. You needed your mom with you in the hospital, and I got her there in the easiest, most efficient way.” I stop and study her while I carefully consider my next words. Shit, I can’t believe I’m about to ask this. She’s so skittish as it is. How the fuck do I phrase it without scaring her away? “Answer something for me.”
She raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“If we were married, would you have this much trouble accepting things from me?”
Her hand flies up, landing on her chest, and she stumbles back a step, bumping into the counter. “What?”
I take a step closer. “You heard me.”
“I…uh, I don’t know how to answer that.”
“I’m not trying to claim anything that isn’t mine. Your music business stuff was yours long before I showed up. But I also can’t sit by and say, ‘sucks for you if you can’t afford it’ when it’s easier for me to give you what you need. That’s not the kind of man I am.”