“Nothing. You never do anything around here.”
“Nice change in subject, but on that note I have long hours at work, Sara. Then I stay up most of the night waiting for you to come home while I’m shattered.”
I faced him now, clenching my hands in fists, and gritted out, “Well, I work long hours too, Jaxon. No one is forcing you to wait up for me, or to go and stalk me at fucking work. I’m busy all the time now. I’m bettering myself.”
“And I’m not?”
“You’ve never accomplished shit in your life,” I spat out, raking him up and down with disgust. “I’m busting my ass off so I can become a lawyer, so that I can go places in life. And what are you going to end up doing? Look after cars in some dodgy garage your whole life?”
He took a deep breath, and his chest shook, as if breathing was suddenly difficult. “So now it’s a problem with what I do?”
“It’s a problem that you don’t want to do better.”
“Since when is status so important in life? I know I won’t be earning a million dollars a year, but it’ll give me what I need, earn me enough to take care of us–”
“I’ll be earning my own way,” I interrupted him, crossing my arms across my chest. “I won’t need your pennies. I’ll be depending on myself.”
“What is this fucking obsession with depending on yourself all the fucking time?” His voice rose in frustration. “We’re a couple! We’re meant to take care of each other. That’s why I came here. I wanted to do this all for you, told you that there was no pressure, no reason for you to work because I had money–”
“Money you made by being a criminal! That’s ironically all you have ever been good at! Breaking and entering and stealing other people’s hard earned income. How could you think for a second I would be fine with using up that kind of dirty money?”
He closed his eyes momentarily, took a deep breath and opened them again. Calmly, he said, “I understand the apprehension, but I’ve completely stopped doing shit like that in forever. Give me some credit on that at least.”
“That’s what you say! Who the fuck knows what you’re up to? You could be thieving any time you want right now, fucking girls behind my back too. You could up and leave me any day without the decency to tell me!”
“I would never cheat on you!” All patience escaped him now, and he looked wild with anger. At that point, I’d never seen him so dark before except for the time at my house when he’d defended me against my father. “I never have! I’ve never deceived you! I agreed that night in bed after Prom to be yours and only yours! You can blame me for everything else I’ve done wrong by you, but you can never say I cheated!”
“I see you flirting with girls all the time,” I lied, and I really wasn’t sure why I was lying either. Maybe it was to get a reaction out of him, and maybe a side of me wanted to believe he was doing it.
He was in disbelief, gritting his teeth so loud I could hear them. “I’ve never flirted with anybody. Nor did I ever try to rile you up with jealousy by talking to some fucking drunk dimwit.”
I’d heard enough. I didn’t want to be confronted about the guy at the bar. I went to leave the bedroom, but Jaxon wouldn’t let me through. “Move!”
“No. You’re going to talk this through with me, Sara. Every time we argue, you flee and I let you go. It has never done us good, either. You just get angrier and angrier.”
“Shut up and move, Jaxon!”
“No. You’re going to talk–”
“What is there to talk about?”
“US!” he growled, leaning down to my level so that we were face to face and inches away. “You’re going to tell me where my girlfriend is!”
“Among the crowd of girls you’ve fucked, where do you want me to point?”
His eyes widened. “You’re such a bitch.”
“Yeah, well at least I’m not a fucking loser like YOU!” I attempted to duck under his arm, but he pushed his body in front of me. “Jaxon, I swear to fucking God, MOVE!”
“We’re going to talk.”
“No, we’re not! You can’t force me to talk to you!”
“Well, then I’m not going anywhere. You think you can constantly have your way, well fuck that, I want to have my way once in a while too, Sara.” He was saying all of this while I was hopelessly pushing him. “Stop acting like a banshee and just calm down.”
“You can’t force me in here!” He’d never been so glued in the doorway like this before. In previous fights, he’d stand there and attempt to talk reasonably, but if I told him no, he’d move aside and let me through. “Move or I’ll call the police!”
“And tell them what?” he sneered, ignoring how harder my shoves were getting. “Stop flailing, Sara…” Out of hysteria for not getting my way, I made my hands into fists and punched him like mad on his chest, screaming for him to move. He took the punches like a champ, moving one hand to his chest to block them. I tried knocking the towel off of him with my leg, but he ducked and weaved me like a pro, knowingly protecting himself.
“I hate you!” I screamed, and then I grabbed the arm he was using to block the doorway with and dug my fingers as hard as possible into his flesh, clawing at it as deeply as I could. He hissed and grabbed me by the shoulders, telling me to calm down as I attempted to knee him in the balls. He shoved me into the door, knocking me breathless for a second as the back of my head thudded.
“What is your fucking problem?!” he hollered, looking down at his arm. “You don’t try and hit me again, Sara. Don’t you fucking dare!”
“Or what?” I breathlessly retorted. Some loose strands of hair were over my face and eyes, and I must have looked like a panting madwoman on a high.
His face went dark as he bore his eyes into mine. “I’ve let you get away with this far too long. Hurt me again, Sara, and I’ll defend myself.”
I scoffed and pushed him hard again. He barely budged, but I knew the physical contact was grating more and more on his patience. He was about to lose it. And I wanted him to.
“What are you going to? Are you going to hit me?” I slapped him on the chest with both hands. “Go on! I dare you! Hit me!”
“Stop it–”
I slapped him hard against the face, and that was the last straw. He grabbed me by the shoulders and squeezed hard; his face went bright red, coming at me until he was inches from my face. I tried to squirm away, but he overpowered me. “Stop it,” he begged hoarsely, and I could feel his breath against my face. Desperation scraped out of him, making him shudder against me. “Stop it, Sara. I love you. Stop this.” He tried to overcome his anger by kissing me, and when his mouth touched mine, I’d gone off like a rocket.
I didn’t know I did it until he flinched back in horror and let go of me abruptly.
I’d dug my fingernails into his cheek and clawed at him the second his lips had touched mine.
He took a step back, his eyes wide with terror and brought his fingers to the deep clawed marks starting from his cheek bone and ending just below his jawline. The claw marks swelled, turned bright red, and bled. He looked down at the blood on his fingers, breathing slow with a look that brought every angry cell in my body to a halt.