I sighed in relief when Lucinda reappeared with bed sheets in her hand. She looked between Christy and Jaxon, and then shot her son an angry look as she walked past them and smiled warmly at me. “Follow me, darling.” No problemo!
We climbed the stairs and she led me through a second living area and down a hallway with four bedrooms. She opened the last door and walked in. I paused outside of the door and hastily took my shoes off. The bedroom was carpeted and I didn’t want to leave any messy footprints.
“Jaxon sends a housekeeper once a week,” Lucinda told me, noticing my apprehension. “Don’t worry about making any messes.”
I walked into the giant bedroom that had an ensuite bathroom, walk in closet, large window overlooking the street, and was furnished beautifully with a custom made queen bed, a dresser with a huge squared mirror, and two night stands. It was plain, impersonal, and so evidently a guest room.
I watched her make the bed in silence, thinking only of what might be transpiring downstairs between Jaxon and Christy. Oh, God, what had I done? Jaxon had only meant to comfort me when I cried like a little baby on that bed. I was the one that initiated the whole thing. Yeah, but he didn’t back down either, my snotty little mind remarked.
Lucinda looked at me frequently as she set the sheet down and housed the pillows. She was thoughtful and concerned, and I hated that I must have looked like I was so obviously hurting.
“He hasn’t been with her long,” she quietly told me.
“What?” I looked up at her in my guilt to see that she’d stopped the bed-making entirely.
“He’s been with her maybe two weeks. Best record yet since you, though I wouldn’t classify it as a relationship. He doesn’t have relationships. Why do you think I give him death glares every chance I get when he’s around her?” She sighed and walked around the bed and stopped when she was in front of me. Her eyes looked tired, and I imagined she’d had a long rough day of her own having to redo a client’s hair and all.
“Mind you, she’s a great girl. I’ll give her that much, and she really likes him, but she’s not you.”
My breath thinned at the end, and I shook my head. “We’re not–”
“He’s going to want you again. Now that you’re here, he’s not going to let you go. You left him once, and it ruined him.”
I gulped down hard at her words. “I’m sorry I didn’t–”
“You left for reasons that I’m sure made sense, but he’s angry and he’s messed up about it. He won’t tell me what happened between you two, and that stays between you too but he’s… been through a lot the last few years, Sara, and he’s changed a lot in that time. I’ve tried really hard to make him right again, but he’s…” Wiping away a sudden tear of her own, she sat on the bed and looked vacantly down at the carpeted floor.
“Look at him,” she continued, hopelessly. “Bad attitude, barely smiles, keeping secrets from me… He comes home with blood on his shirt, and that’s not the first time either.”
“It wasn’t his fault tonight. He saved me,” I blurted out. “I got attacked at the motel by some drunk.”
She looked at me horrified. “I told you that part of town is unsafe–”
“I didn’t think anything would happen to me.”
“That’s always the way, isn’t it? No one ever does, and then they die and wind up dumped in some back alley.” Clearly irritated at me, she shook her head. “Did he kill him?”
The words sent a shock through my system. “I-I don’t know. He sent a guy over.”
She nodded, fully aware and undisturbed by this news. “Well, then, we might as well just assume so.” With a heavy exhale, she stood up and wrapped her arms around me. “As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters.” She pulled back and gave me a light kiss on the forehead. “I love you, Sara. Get some rest, okay?”
Too speechless to open my mouth, I just nodded.
Seventeen
After Lucinda left me, I had a long, hot shower. I sat on the tiled ground, letting the water flow endlessly down my body. You’d have thought I’d boycott water altogether after tonight, but having a shower was different. It was a time of reflection for me. I looked fresh when I stepped out even though it was the last thing I felt.
I changed back into my bum clothes, grabbed my phone and crawled into bed, setting it down on the night table. My lids ached from exhaustion, and for once I didn’t have to force myself to stop thinking a million different things before I drifted off into sleep.
*****
The sound of the door creaking open woke me up. I hated being such a light sleeper. I looked at the large figure in the doorway, and blinked again to clear the fogginess. With the light streaming through the doorway, I watched Jaxon set my suitcase down beside my bed. Still inside, he shut the door and walked to the bathroom paying absolutely no attention to me.
He disappeared inside and then I heard the shower start. I rubbed my eyes, waking myself up as I lay there for five minutes wondering why the hell he was showering in what was meant to be my room for the night. The shower went off and a moment later the door swung open. He walked out naked and soaking wet and dived straight into my bed. I jumped to the side, caught off guard by his close proximity.
“What are you doing?” I asked in an unusually high voice.
“Going to sleep,” he answered as he sorted through the covers, yanking some off of me so that he had an equal share of them.
“But… But I’m sleeping in here.”
“You sure are.”
I propped myself up on my elbows and looked over at him. My eyes adjusted in the darkness and I was able to see his face well. His eyes were closed, and he was wriggling a bit, trying to find a comfortable position against the pillow, resting finally with his back against the mattress and an arm over his face.
“Why are you in here?”
“I’m trying to sleep, Sara. It’s late.”
“I’m aware that you’re trying to sleep, Jaxon, but why are you sleeping here with me?”
“I have a preference for this room. It…soothes me.” I didn’t have to see the grin on his face to know what a crock of bullshit that was.
“Fine. I’ll go sleep somewhere else.” I barely made it an inch before his hand gripped my arm tightly. I looked over at him, and his eyes were opened and trained on me. There was a look that even in the darkness made my heart beat faster. Where did he learn to be so intimidating?
“No,” he said firmly, “you’ll stay here.”
I didn’t reply. I looked away from him, removed – quite forcefully –my arm from his grip and turned to my side, back against him. I grabbed the cell phone from the night table and looked at the time. I’d been asleep for two hours and it felt like two seconds, and though I was still tired, I was extremely aware of his presence and it filled me with a mixture of feelings: excited at being so close to him; confused as to why he wanted to sleep with me literally; angry that he could be so demanding and that I so willingly obeyed; and fear because there were new parts of him that were dark and unpredictable.