“Jack—”
“I hope it’s a girl,” he continues. “I hope you get to know that bond a father has with his daughter. Cherish it, man, fucking cherish it, because one day some guy with long hair is going to come around and he’s gonna steal her heart.”
I’d love that.
Not the part where some undeserving prick steals my daughter’s heart, but the part where I feel what Jack feels for his daughter. That unconditional love you’ll do anything to preserve—I’d really love to experience that, but how fair would that be? How could I let Jack lose that feeling? Lacey may love me, but she’ll never forgive me if she loses her father. I don’t want her to resent me and even if she didn’t, I don’t know if I could live with that guilt.
“I can’t let you take the rap for this. Lacey will never forgive me. She needs you, Jack.”
“She needs you more,” he replies, placing a hand on my shoulder. A beat of silence passes between us and I watch as his eyes fill with tears. Clearing his throat, he forces a smile.
“Make sure my grandchild knows he or she had a grandpa and that loved him or her very much,” he rasps.
“You’re talking like your dying,” I growl, wishing he’d shut the fuck up and that I wasn’t the weak fuck that got us into this mess.
“No, but by the time your kid is old enough to visit, I’ll be too far gone, and I don’t want the memory of me in a straight jacket to be the only one she’s got.”
The sad thing is, I can see it. I can see me and Lacey bringing our daughter to visit him. Our little girl runs into her grandpa’s waiting arms. There is no straight jacket, no padded cell. There’s just him and her.
Hearing Jack clear his throat, I shake the image from my mind.
“That being said,” he continues, diverting his attention to all the men at the table. “I think that it is in the club’s best interest to have Wolf take the gavel. He’s the only one here who truly understands what I’ve tried to create here and I’m certain he will lead this club away from tragedy. He’ll keep you all breathing and take the Satan’s Knights to a place where you can all be proud. Any objections?”
In typical Jack fashion, he doesn’t give anyone a chance to object as he pushes back his chair and rises to his feet. Taking my patch from the table, he reaches into his kutte with his other hand and retrieves his. With both ranks in his hands, he makes his way to the other end of the table and opens his palm to Wolf.
“Godspeed, my man,” he says.
Through the years, Jack and I talked a lot about the future of the club and when I’d take his place. Never once was he not in the picture and maybe that’s why being his successor was so appealing in the beginning. I guess I figured when the time finally came for Jack to step down, he’d be old and withered, unable to ride. He’d still be present, just more laid back and in the shadows, guiding me and talking in my ear. A man who spent his days loving his wife and watching his young son grow into a man. A grandfather who spoiled the grandkids me and his daughter gave him. Someone who’d continue to teach me how to navigate life and more importantly, fatherhood.
I never thought the Parrish era would end like this, with both of us losing.
I never thought I’d be sitting here watching as Wolf takes his place as the leader and appoints Pipe as his right hand. But as odd as it is, it’s also right. The future of the Satan’s Knights is in good hands, better hands than mine. It’s my future as a husband and father that’s in peril.
“Reina’s waiting for me,” Jack mutters, bracing his hand on the frame of the door. Turning around, he gives us all one last glimpse of his trademark wicked grin. “We had one fuck of a run, didn’t we? It wasn’t always easy for us, but we showed everyone you ain’t gotta be blood to be family. I love you my, brothers,” he pauses, his voice cracking. “That’s what you are, you know? You’ll always be property of Parrish.”
They’re poignant words for a remarkable man and like always, Jack leaves an everlasting impression as he exits the room.
Pushing back my chair, the legs scrape against the floor. All eyes move to me as I follow Jack out the door without a word. Making my way to the main bar, I catch him as he takes Reina’s hand and starts to lead her out of Kates.
“Jack,” I call, my voice sounding desperate.
He stops in his tracks and whispers something in Reina’s ear before turning to me. Crossing his arms against his chest, he remains rooted in place as his dark eyes scan the length of me. Finally finding my face, he lifts a questioning eyebrow.
Drawing a blank, I stand there speechless, clenching my fists.
“Good talk,” Jack grunts sarcastically, dropping his arms to his sides. Without giving me another glance, he drapes an arm around Reina and starts for the door. I finally find my balls and my voice calls out to him just before he crosses the threshold.
“I can’t let you do this,” I grind out, watching as he lowers his arm from his wife’s shoulders. Slowly he turns around, narrowing his eyes at me.
“You can’t let me do what?”
“This,” I shout, spreading my arms wide. “All of this, taking the fall for me, giving up your patch and leaving your family behind…I can’t let you do it.”
“It ain’t your call, Black.”
“I was drinking,” I blurt. “Lacey and I had a fight over her not taking her meds during the pregnancy and she threw me out. I hit up a liquor store and broke into Green-Wood Cemetery. I spent the night on a bender and when you called to say it was time for the meet with Javier, I stopped off at the bodega around the corner from your house and snorted a bunch of amphetamines. You still want to throw your life down the gutter for me?”
“You think I don’t know that?” he scoffs, closing the distance between us. The amusement fades from his face as he continues. “You think I don’t know when you’re fucking loaded? Don’t kid yourself, Blackie, I ain’t doing shit for you,” he spats. “Now, if you’re done with your tantrum, I’ve got a wife and son I need to take care of while I still can,” he sneers. “You should try it some time.”
Gritting my teeth, I close the distance between us.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means Bianci is waiting outside to take you back to the cabin. Go get your wife, Blackie, and bring her home. They’ll be a patrol car parked in front of your house until I sign the deal, but no one will slap cuffs on you. I have an early appointment at the district attorney’s office to work out the details of the agreement. After that, I plan on saying goodbye to my family. So, you have from now until then to tell my little girl her old man is going to prison. She’ll be upset, so you’ll have to watch her for a while.”
“Upset? She’s going to be devastated.”
“She’ll be fine,” he argues. “She’ll have you and the baby. Look, Black, you fucked up. It happens. How many times have I slipped up in the past? We both know I should never have put us in that position with the cartel, but it is what it is and this is the only way out for you and I. So, quit acting like a pussy and clean up your act. Be the man you promised to be when you asked me for Lacey’s hand and do me a favor?”