His hard gaze softens a fraction as he studies me. Swiping a hand over his face, he mutters a curse as I brush past him.
Choke on that, Pipe.
Chapter Thirty
Lacey
The first time my father went to jail, I was just a kid. Come to think of it, I was probably around Danny’s age. When he left, he told me he was going away for work and he’d be back in less than a year. Once a month my mom would take me to visit him. We’d go through the metal detectors and a series of fireproof doors until we finally settled in the visitor’s room. A guard would stand close by watching our every move and my father would be dressed in his ‘work uniform’. It never dawned on me that it was all a lie until I was a teenager and he got locked up again.
His second sentence he did at a federal penitentiary eight hours away. My mother was remarried by then and my stepdad didn’t like the idea of her making long trips to see her ex-husband, which left Blackie as my chauffeur. He didn’t take me as often as he went to visit and that was partly because of my age. It was more of one and done thing because I broke down when the buzzer rang, signaling my time with my father was up. The guard came over to the table and I was forced to say goodbye, not knowing when I’d see him again.
I watched him walk away and stared at the numbers on the back of his prison blues until he was out of sight. I silently recited those numbers the whole ride home.
Eight, eight, zero, six, four, one, six, two.
Recalling that day is the very reason I couldn’t bring myself to go to my father’s house this morning. I didn’t want my last memory of him to be his back as he walked out the door yet again. When Blackie left the house, I wished I was still the young girl everyone sheltered. The girl who believed the lies and didn’t care her daddy was away because she knew he’d always come back.
There was no coming back this time.
Not for thirteen years.
I’ll be forty years old by the time he’s released.
Danny will be a man and my baby almost a teenager.
The more I thought about all of that, the more I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. If life had a do not disturb feature, I’d flip the switch and ask to be woken up in thirteen years. Unfortunately, I was shit out of luck.
But I wasn’t the only one.
Reina was feeling everything I was, and she was feeling it tenfold.
Before Blackie left this morning, he told me my dad didn’t want her accompanying him to the district attorney’s office. Apparently, I was more like my old man than I realized because he didn’t want Reina’s last memory of him to be in cuffs. Instead of taking Danny to school and surrendering with her at his side like they had planned, he said his goodbyes at the house and rode to the office with the club.
I’m sure she didn’t take that too well.
In fact, I bet my last dollar she’s a mess right about now. She’s probably sitting at home, replaying all the years she spent loving my father, wondering why their story didn’t end quite like she dreamed it would. Glancing at the digital clock on the cable box, I realize she should’ve already dropped Danny at school and reach for my phone on the coffee table.
She shouldn’t be alone today and truthfully, we both could probably use each other.
Pulling up her contact, I hit send. My call goes straight to voicemail. I try again and get the same result, but this time I leave a message, telling her to call me. I wait five minutes before calling once more.
The mailbox you are trying to reach is full.
Fearing she’s worse than I thought, I stand and head into the kitchen to grab my keys. I should’ve seen this coming, but I’ve been too wrapped up in my own shit to think of anyone else. Reina’s been so strong throughout this whole ordeal, she was bound to break, eventually. I mean for God’s sake, there is only so much heartache a person can stand. She’s had more than her fair share.
With my keys in my hand, I start for the door. I don’t quite make it because my phone rings. Figuring it’s her returning my call, I don’t bother to look at the screen as I swipe my thumb across it. Lifting it to my ear, I continue to head for the front of the house. I freeze mid-step when I hear Nico’s frantic voice.
“Lace, it’s Nico…oh…God,” he stammers.
“Nico, what’s wrong?”
“Shit, I’m coming,” he calls to someone. A siren wails in the distance and my heart plummets as my body stills in fear.
“Lace, you there?” he questions breathlessly.
Swallowing, I struggle to find my voice as dread swarms my veins. I close my eyes and brace a hand on the door.
“I’m here,” I croak as my knees go weak.
“Listen, there’s been an accident.”
It’s the words no one ever wants to hear.
The words that make the faces of everyone you love flash before your eyes.
It’s the words that steal your breath.
The words that you know will change everything.
“I tried calling your father, but fuck—I don’t know if he’s turned himself in yet. They’re taking them to the hospital…it’s fucking bad and I don’t know what to do. They’re cutting her out of the car now and Danny is—shit, the kid is a mess. No one is answering their phones. Not your father or your husband. Not even my fucking old man.”
My eyes snap open.
Cutting her out of the car.
The kid is a mess.
No. No. No.
“Lacey, tell me what to do,” he half shouts, half pleads.
Picturing my brother’s face, I force my eyes to open and drag in a deep breath. I ignore my trembling hands and remind myself of the promises I made to both myself and my father. If there was ever a time for me to step up and be the woman he raised, it’s now.
“Stay with Danny,” I blurt, reaching behind me to cup the back of my neck. “Don’t leave his side, Nico.” Pulling open the door, I hurry outside. I don’t stop to bother with the locks. I just keep moving, making my way towards the car.
“Ask the paramedics what hospital they’re transporting them to, and I will meet you there.”
Nico does what he’s told as I slide behind the wheel and start the engine. A million scenarios and every possible injury race through my mind as I wait for him to tell me where to go. When he gets back on the phone, he tells me the name of the hospital and I peel out of the driveway. Before I get the chance to ask him what happened, he reveals his father is beeping in and quickly disconnects the call.
Lost in my thoughts, I try to keep it together, but the tears come quickly and I’m unable to keep them at bay. If I was a religious person, today would be the day I lose faith. How could there be a God in a world like this, where a single family suffers so much tragedy? It’s fucking impossible and you know what else it is, it’s a damn shame.
Slamming my fist against the steering wheel, I blink through my tears and honk the horn. Yeah, there definitely is no God. If there was, I’d like to think there would be no traffic on the Staten Island Expressway when I’m trying to get to the damn hospital so I can be with my little brother who is probably scared out of his mind right now.
After thirty-five minutes the traffic finally clears, and it takes me another fifteen minutes to get to the hospital. Finding parking in Brooklyn is another nightmare and by the time I finally find a spot I’m a hysterical mess. Knowing I can’t let Danny see me like this, I wipe my eyes and count to ten before charging into the emergency room.