“Oh great, the spoiled brat who needs to be slapped across the face,” Katie groaned. “I need to be one of those goons who eats those little shits.”
It was my turn to burst out laughing.
Movie nights were something we started when Remy was very young. Back then we could choose whatever we wanted to watch and not have to worry about little ears. I wanted my little girl to have traditions. Things that we could do year after year and build upon them. I also didn’t want to shelter her from the world in such a way she would be shocked if she were to see something. The way Katie and I grew up was like living in a bubble. Everything we had exposure to was controlled by our father and the community we lived in. No outside influence ever.
The movie night was more than once a year, but it still became a routine thing.
Growing up, we didn’t have things like that. Movie night was an absolute no unless it was something the prophet wanted us to see. Only then would it be okay to watch movies.
Especially not something as colorful and upbeat as this movie. That was a big no go.
“Could you imagine watching this back home?”
Katie’s hand paused heading to her mouth with a wad of popcorn in it. “No way. M-O-M.” She spelled out the word because it was something we didn’t say in front of Remy. She’d never know my mother, and I never wanted to give her the impression that she would. Never would I trust my mother with my daughter. “Would let us. None of the M-O-M-S would. They’d rather throw themselves on a burning fire than tell D-A-D anything that would make him angry.”
That was a complete understatement. Our father ruled with an iron fist. Literally. One step out of line, and he’d beat the hell out of you. I still had scars to prove that fact.
“Who would’ve thought we’d be out to live the life we want when we want to live it. Did you ever think we would be free of all that?”
Katie chewed the popcorn in her mouth as I took a drink from my glass. “No. Never. I never saw a way out of there. You at least got to go out with Ari.”
“Snuck out was more like it, and it was only twice.”
“Right. But you had some idea of the outside. Me, that life was all I knew.”
“Yeah, I had a small taste of it, but I never saw myself living that life even before I snuck out.”
Katie leaned back and put her head on the couch, turning to face me. I followed suit. This happened regularly when it was movie time with the Trolls. The next thing would be Remy taking our popcorn away and moving to the floor so she could hear the movie.
“What did you see in your future then?”
“I never saw myself marrying anyone there. Ever. One husband and one wife. I never wanted to share something that should be precious.”
“M-O-M liked that.”
“Did she really? She never smiled. She never showed an ounce of being happy—ever.” I pulled in my lip, then popped it out. “She was always mad, especially when the other M-O-Ms had their alone time.”
Katie sighed loudly just as Remy got up and moved to her spot on the floor. She knew the drill.
“Yeah. So you saw yourself out of there?” Katie asked, genuinely curious.
“I did. You know I hid some books in my room.” Katie nodded. “Well, inside those stories was where I wanted to be. I wanted a partner who was hard on the outside and soft on the inside. The heroes were always tough, but in their hearts they loved their wives with everything they had. One wife, I mean…”
“I wanted to grab one of your books and read it, but I was too scared.”
“She,” I referred to our mother, “would’ve hit you. You saw what she did to me.” Just remembering that time had shivers skating down my spine. No. I didn’t want to remember that.
“Yeah. Keep going.”
My eyes closed as I breathed in deep, recanting my dreams. “In one of my books the man was a protector. Not only to his woman, but to those around him. While he had blood family, he also didn’t and protected them all the same. He was stability, safety, and comfort. Most of all he was filled with love. That emotion is a powerful thing and tells a lot about a man. He’d sweep me off my feet, taking me far away from our home where we’d get married outside under a large tree, have a family with four children, and be happy. That’s all I wanted was happiness.”
“You aren’t happy?” Katie asked a very poignant question.
“For the most part, yes. I have Remy, you, Ryker and Austyn. But I want to believe that there is a man out there for me. One who has all the sticking points I wished for when younger. Hope. That’s what I have. Hope that someday I can give Remy everything.”
Katie’s hand reached out and took mine, giving it a squeeze. “Girl, you’ve done an amazing job with her. She has everything she needs.”
“It would be nice for her to have a father figure.”
“Like we had such a great one. And I think we turned out pretty damn good.” Katie wasn’t wrong.
“We did. Remy doesn’t need a dad, but it sure would be nice for her to have one who was totally the opposite of ours.”
“True there. I just want to have fun. Sometimes I feel like a teenager again with all the freedom we have now.”
My brow quirked. “Not too much fun. We both know where that could lead.”
“I do know that. We just missed out on a lot.” She paused as I let that sink in. “Do you ever think we’ll go back and get our brothers and sisters?”
This stunned me. Never had I thought of going back. If one of them were to contact me, that was another story, but to go in and break them out—never.
“No.”
“Really? Since we got out I’ve always thought we’d try.”
A deep sigh left me. “While I’d love to take a big white van in there, open the door and say— anyone who wants out, let’s go—but it can’t happen. If we go back there, they will lock us up; you know that. We wouldn’t come out of there alive. And could you think of what they’d do to Remy?”
Katie visibly shook. “No, I don’t want to think of that. I just want them to live a life that wasn’t planned for them. One where they could go to school and get a job. One that wasn’t popping out babies to rule the world.”
“I’d like that too, but we have to focus on what we have now. The risk is too great to ever step foot anywhere near there.”
“You talked about hope a few seconds ago. Me? I hope those who want to get out can. We made it. Maybe they can too.”
I pulled Katie into my arms and hugged her tight. “Yeah. Maybe.”
We didn’t know what this life had in store for us, but we did know it was a destiny of our choosing.
9
Micah
Walking into the clubhouse, my dad was at my back which was a nice gesture, but whatever would be, would be. I’d already made peace with it a long time ago. It was judgment day, and I wouldn’t go away unscathed. It was four plus years in the making, and the brothers anger had time to stir and fester, growing to the point of explosion.
Judgment day.
All eyes came to me, and there were a range of emotions I could read, but it was the ones that I couldn’t that held my attention. Training was ongoing in the Marines. They put me through so much shit it made me wonder what the really bad guys could come up with. Torture training was constant.