“It’s your turn to make dinner tonight, right?”
“Shit,” Alex mutters, hopping off the couch and hurrying into the kitchen. I bite back a laugh. It’s his week to do the grocery shopping too, so I don’t have high hopes that he’s going to find anything in there to cook last minute. “How do you feel about ordering a pizza?” He calls from the kitchen a minute later.
“As long as it has green peppers on it,” I bargain, and hear him audibly sigh.
“Fine, deal,” he agrees.
Our pizza comes a short time later, and we both devour it before getting changed to go out. Twisted Cherry is a pretty chill bar, not really a pickup spot by any means, but there are cute guys there every so often. Not that I need a cute guy. Or maybe I do. Fuck, I don’t even know anymore. I had myself convinced that moving out here would fix all these shitty lonely feelings I’ve been dealing with for the past year, but it’s only seemed to make it all worse.
I want to believe hooking up with some hot dude would make it all feel better for a little while, but I’m starting to learn that it’s rarely the case. If anything, it usually leaves me feeling even worse, and it’s never as fun or satisfying as I imagine it will be.
Alex comes out of his own bedroom dressed like a stock photo of a cute nerd—his blond hair slightly tousled, thick-rimmed glasses that he doesn’t typically wear, tight jeans, and a t-shirt that has the word “shit” inside some brackets and a radical, the whole thing squared. My confusion must be written on my face because he takes pity on me and explains.
“Shit got real.”
“Whoosh,” I say, moving my hand over my head.
“Figured I’d nerd it up tonight. Nerdy is the new hot, I swear. Guys cream their jeans for the nerd vibe, and if you aren’t basically waving a sign, they’ll never figure it out.” He gestures to his outfit, which is clearly meant to be the aforementioned sign. “Not that I’m planning to hook up with anyone tonight.” He tugs his full, bottom lip between his teeth. “Maybe I should change really quick, actually.”
I cock my head to one side. “Why?”
“Ugh, it’s stupid.” Alex waves his hand around wildly in front of himself before huffing out a sigh. “I told myself I need to cool it with the hook ups for a little while, but I’m also weak so if I go out and someone offers, odds are high that I’ll cave and do it.”
“Ah.” I nod in understanding. “If you want, I can be your accountability partner.”
“Like, tackle me if I try to take my pants off?” he jokes, arching an eyebrow at me.
“Sure. What are roommates for?”
“Apparently I should’ve gotten a roommate sooner.” He smiles and runs his fingers carefully through his hair, creating an artful tousle seemingly subconsciously. “A break from sex is exactly what I need,” he says resolutely. “My dildos get me by just fine usually anyway. Hell, sometimes they get me by better than a half-assed fuck.”
My eyebrows jump up. Dildos, as in plural? I’ve given the idea of sex toys some thought from time to time, but never taken the plunge. How many dildos does a person need? And why is the thought Alex having an overflowing drawer full of sex toys so hot?
“Cool.” I rub the back of my neck, trying to think of something to say about Alex’s multiple dildos.
“But hey, just because I’m not having sex for a little while, don’t feel like you shouldn’t,” he assures me. “Don’t feel weird bringing anyone here. Sex is healthy and natural, nothing we need to tiptoe around as much as we do as a society.” He says it so matter of factly, I wonder if he’s read all the same Health and Human Sexuality textbooks I’ve had to for my psych degree. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has. In fact, he probably read them when he was ten and could no doubt teach the classes better than my professors.
“I’m taking a little hiatus from sex too.” I shove my hands awkwardly into my pockets.
“Because of the Elijah thing?” he guesses, and I wince.
“How? Um…” My heart races. Does Elijah know about my stupid crush? I can’t imagine Pax would’ve told him, but who knows. There are a lot of things about my brother that are different since he fell for my best friend.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It was pretty obvious when we first met, the way you looked at him and everything. It’s none of my business.”
I huff out a sound that is meant to be a laugh but sounds far more exhausted than it has any right to. “It’s not about him. I’m happy he’s with Pax.” It’s not even a lie. Yes, I love Elijah, but I love him enough that I want him to be over the moon happy, even if it’s with my brother. “I was sleeping around a lot last year because I was so lonely, and it ended up making me feel more lonely, so I promised myself I’d be more choosy about who I would share my bed with this year.”
He nods in understanding at my explanation. “We can have abstinence AA meetings over morning coffee,” Alex jokes, and I manage a real laugh this time.
“I’m in,” I agree.
“You ready to go?” Alex checks after that, eyeing my outfit and giving me a nod of approval, turning to the door and grabbing his keys without waiting for my response.
“Yup, let’s do it,” I agree, following him out.
Alex
It’s a Friday night, so it’s not surprising that Twisted Cherry is packed. Technically, I’m too young to be allowed in, and on Friday nights, they actually do have a doorman checking I.D.s, but I may have given him a blowjob last year, so all I have to do is bat my eyelashes and give him a sweet smile, and he waves me through without a problem.
It doesn’t take us long to spot our friends gathered around a table near the bar. Bishop, Hudson, and Leo all touch and flirt with each other as well as Riot, who seems to be working tonight, which is probably the reason for the location close to the bar. Elijah and Pax are all over each other too. I don’t blame them. It must be hard to be apart all week. And finally, Seph, the only lady in our little group of friends. Normally, she’s flying solo, but tonight she seems to have a date with her, an attractive androgynous looking person with sharp, attractive features and a smile on their face every time Seph whispers something in their ear.
When we reach the table, Elijah’s eyes fall to my shirt and after a second he snorts a laugh. “Nice.”
I grin and nod my approval. I knew he’d get it. Alex orders a drink from Riot, but I hold off. I know Riot won’t serve me since I’m underage, but if I play my cards right, I’m sure I can manage to get a drink.
“Who’s your friend?” I ask, smiling and offering my hand to Seph’s date.
“This is Oakley. We met at the bookstore last week. I commented on their big stack of books, and they asked me out for a cup of coffee,” Seph explains, laying the innuendo on thick and throwing her date a flirty look.
“This one is a slut for a big ol’ brain,” I inform Oakley.
“So I’ve learned,” they say with a chuckle, putting an arm around Seph’s shoulders. The way she glows at the gesture makes me happy. It’s been obvious she’s been looking for something serious, and maybe she’s finally found it.