When he pulls back, finally needing to come up for air, he gives me a lazy smile. I’m sure mine is love-drunk.
“What was that for?” I pant, trying to catch my breath.
“Be mine, Briella.”
“I am yours.”
“Be mine in more than name.” He kisses my neck and I groan the moment his lips touch the skin there. “Be my old lady.”
I pull back from him slightly and his hands come to steady my hips. “You want me to be your old lady?” my words come out in a rush of air.
I know all about claiming in this world and what it means. I understand the gravity of being chosen by a brother to become their partner.
“Yeah, baby, I do.”
“But we’ve never even… you know?” I leave off the ‘had sex’ part, but he seems to understand what I’m saying.
He runs his fingers through the hair at the back of my neck. “Don’t give a fuck about that.”
“But what if I’m really bad at it. My only experience was…” I break off with a frown. My only experience of sex was with Sin. He hadn’t been kind. He hadn’t whispered sweet words while he penetrated me. He’d taken what he wanted without a second thought of my comfort. It had hurt and it had left me feeling violated. I know Daimon would never do that to me, but I have to admit, I’m terrified of taking that next step. Kissing seems safe, easy, but I also know a man like Daimon isn’t going to be content with just that.
“Hey, hey, don’t even go there,” he soothes. “Ain’t expecting shit off you. When you’re ready, we can move things on, but not until you’ve done all the healing you need to do. You have your first counselling session tomorrow, right?”
I nod. I’m nervous about it too. The thought of having to open up to a stranger about what was done to me fills me with itchy fear I can’t shake.
“I’ll drive you there, okay?”
“You don’t have to.”
“Know I don’t have to, baby, but I want to.”
The butterflies in my stomach take flight at his words. Knowing I won’t have to face it alone makes me feel so much better about it.
“I’m nervous.”
“It’ll be good for you to talk about this shit, to start processing and dealing with everything.” His fingers move on my hips, sending shivers of pleasure straight to my core.
“You really want me to be your old lady?”
He grins. “Club voted already on it.”
His words have my brows arching. “The club voted on it?”
“Yeah, baby. The club has to agree to anyone coming in—that includes old ladies. Just how it is. That’s the life I lead.”
I clamour off his lap, pulling my hand away as he tries to reach for it to stop me. I shouldn’t be upset. They obviously had to do this for Lucy and Sasha, but my heart feels like it’s shattering.
He watches me move away, putting distance between us, his mouth pulling into a displeased line.
“If they’d voted no would you even be asking me this?”
His brows come together and I can tell I’ve shocked him with my words, but I feel like he’s only asked me because his brothers gave him the go ahead. That slices through me like a knife. Rejection hits my belly like a ten-tonne anvil and I know I’m acting like I’ve lost the plot, but I can’t help the sting of pain that lances through my chest.
“Briella...”
“Would you?” I push.
He lets out a long breath as he studies me. “Babe, I would have taken the kutte off my back if they hadn’t agreed. I love you.”
I blink at him, my eyes filling with tears, my words choking the back of my throat. Did he really just say what I think he said?
“You love me?” I whisper, unable to comprehend the truth.
He leans forward on the sofa, his hands clasped between his parted legs. He looks so handsome, so masculine right now, I want to kiss him senseless, but I force myself to stay in position.
“You don’t have to say it back. Don’t want you to ever say anything you ain’t willing to say.”
My breath catches in my throat as I shake my head. “I love you too.”
He pulls me back into his lap and I go willingly. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer as he breathes into my hair. “You’re mine. No vote was ever going to change that, baby.”
He kisses my forehead and I melt against him. He might be a biker and he might live on the wrong side of the law more often than the right, but I know for a fact I would do anything for this man, just as he would do anything for me. And for the first time ever, I feel something I’ve never felt.
Hope.
23
Daimon
I’m sitting outside Brash, one of the businesses that pay us protection money, when I feel something tingle between my shoulders. I’m a man who has lived my life relying on trusting my gut instinct, so when all my instincts start flashing red warning lights, I sit up and take notice, knowing never to ignore that feeling.
Casually as I can, I scan the urban sprawl, the high-rise towers looming on the horizon behind the squat buildings in front. I can handle whatever comes my way, but Titch is inside the bar getting the payment from the owner while I’m waiting outside, covering the entrance. I’m not sure if he’s in danger too. The brother is a good fighter, but I’m not one to leave a man behind.
I lean against my bike, folding my arms over my chest as if I don’t have a care in the world, but my eyes are watchful. I don’t see anything odd, but the feeling still persists, still itching just beneath my skin.
Titch appears through the staff entrance door a moment later, drawing my attention. The feeling doesn’t disappear, but it doesn’t feel as heightened with the brother striding towards me. When he reaches the bikes, scrubs a hand over his face.
“Problems?” I ask, even though I don’t expect any. Brash is our most regular clientele and as far as I’m aware, we’ve never had a problem with them paying up. It’s the only reason I allowed Titch to go in alone.
“Not a single one,” Titch says, snagging his helmet off the back of his bike.
I pull my bandanna up over my face and shove my helmet on my head. The prickling between my shoulders continues and I peer around this time, feeling fucking irritated that I’m being watched.
“You okay, brother?” Titch’s eyes follow the same path as mine, his body suddenly on alert too. Years of working together, of being closer than blood means we can read each other.
“Just a weird as fuck feeling. It’s probably nothing.”
Titch shifts a little on his bike, considering he’s got a shit ton of money stashed inside his kutte, I understand why he’d be anxious.
“Let’s fucking roll.”
We head back to the clubhouse, but I keep my eyes split between the road and my side mirrors, that uneasy feeling not leaving me. I don’t understand what the fuck it’s about, but I don’t question it either. Nothing happens, though. We reach the clubhouse compound without encountering any trouble, but I still feel on edge.
“Can you handle the money?” I ask as both of us pull our bikes into the first available space. “Brie has her first counselling session today. I want to be there for her.”