“I really hate him. Like so much that I’d like to punch him in the junk and shove him in a pile of cow manure. Why don’t men like Shane ever get their karma?”
Sometimes, I wonder the same thing. But hopefully, after all I’ve struggled through, his karma is about to pay up. Big time.
24
Walker
Light on the heels, quick push from the toes.
I focus on my breathing, channeling the icy air through my lungs. I’m typically not a runner, or at least not in the winter months, where I reserve my cardio time for the gym or lap pool down at the stadium facilities. But today, I felt like getting out on the road, and really feeling the burn of my muscles.
My pace has been punishing; six eight-minute miles. But the time seems to go quickly, which I’m thankful for. Baseball is just a month away, with spring training and pre-season workouts looming on the horizon. I always keep myself in shape, but the next few weeks will call for more intense muscle and cardio toning, with a lot of drills and batting cage time. I’m still in my prime, it doesn’t feel like an effort to play like some of the older vets have recounted to me. But I know that soon enough, age will come knocking at my door, too.
I’m sweaty and spent by the time I get home, hopping into my steaming hot shower that boasts four shower heads on various parts of the wall. I built this thing purely out of luxury, and it’s probably one of my favorite features of my home.
While I’m ready to get back out onto the field, I’m also going to miss nights like tonight, when I can pick up Hannah and her daughters and take them to the drive-in.
Hannah called me, somewhat emotionally, after the girls had gone to bed one night last week. She recounted the whole Shane incident, that he’d missed his visitation with the girls that day, and I’d been pissed. Still am, whenever I think about it. The guy is a grade A asshole, but his kids shouldn’t have to get the brunt of that.
I think that set her off more than she knows, because she agreed to a public date with her children tagging along. It’s a risk, but I’m not sure Hannah cares about Shane’s threats when it comes to me anymore. After seeing his gallivanting in Miami, I think she wants to shove it in his face a little. Part of me wants to protect her for her own sake and keep our relationship private.
But tonight is Frozen night at the drive-in, and I know it’s one of Noelle’s favorites. I want to do something nice for Hannah and show her that I can step up when it comes to being in a relationship with a woman who is also a mother. Sometimes, I think that she keeps me at arm’s length because she doesn’t just bring herself into what’s happening between us, but that the girls could get involved at some point, too. Plus, I think it will just be a really fun thing to do.
My truck is full of supplies as I swing into Hannah’s condo association, and they come out to get in the car.
“Who is ready for some Arendelle?” I say excitedly, getting out to help Hannah put the girls’ car seats in the back.
As we strap them in, Noelle is chatting nonstop about the movie, and how Sven, the reindeer, is the most hilarious animal on earth. Breanna is also trying to jump into the conversation, though her toddler babble is a bit harder to suss out.
We pull into the line for the drive-in about twenty minutes later, and I present the teenage kid working the entrance with the tickets I pre-ordered online.
“Please drive to your designated spot, sir,” he tells me in his bored, pubescent voice.
“This was so nice of you. You didn’t have to do this for them.” Hannah smiles at me as the girls marvel over the decorations the drive-in theater has set up.
The enormous projector screen is framed with turquoise and purple streamers, with piles of fake snow on the stage below. There is a fake Olaf and Sven set up on either side of the screen, and each parking spot is marked with a large snowflake on the ground.
“I know I’m not just seeing you, Hannah. Your girls are your world. I want to be a part of that, too. I’m not shy in telling you that I want every part of you, especially the part where you’re this fantastic, strong mother.”
I swear she’s blushing, and I would stretch over to kiss her on the cheek, but the girls haven’t seen us like that yet. It’s still too early, so I have to bite my tongue to fight the urge to touch her.
“All right girls, you get one present each,” I say, pulling out the two gifts I wrapped.
“Those are … interesting.” Hannah giggles at my wrap job, which, I admit, is terrible.
“I’m a bachelor, not Martha Stewart.” I grin.
Not that the girls care, they rip them open so fast that my terrible wrapping paper is shredded on the back seat floor.
“Gloves! Just like Elsa, Mommy!” Noelle screeches as she stares at the box she’s just unwrapped.
“Say thank you to Walker,” Hannah reminds her daughter, while sending me an appreciative and impressed smile.
“Thank you, Walker!” The little girl makes a motion like she wants to jump up and hug me, but she’s in her car seat.
Breanna is having a bit of a harder time, so we unbuckle from the front seat and go back there to get them out and help. Once she gets it open, she sees the sparkly, light-up tiara and her toddler squeals are the best sound on earth.
“You picked those out yourself?” Hannah looks like I just hung the moon, and I feel my chest burst with pride.
“Went to the Disney store and all. I forgot how much I feel like a kid there. It was one of the only places my mom would let us venture in the mall, aside from her favorite department stores. Have they ever been to Disney?”
The girls put on their presents as I set up the back of the pickup where we plan to watch the movie.
Hannah nods. “Yeah, about two years ago. Breanna doesn’t even remember it she was so little, and Noelle would probably keel over if she saw Elsa in person now and could get an autograph.”
“Maybe we’ll have to take them again,” I suggest, pushing the boundaries I know are in place but not caring.
And instead of fighting me, or talking about something heavy that would prevent us from going on vacation, she just agrees. “Maybe we will.”
The bed of my pickup is lined with comforters, sheepskin blankets, and two mini-heaters I bought at a camping store. I’ve packed the back near the rearview window with pillows, and we all pack in. Overall, it isn’t that cold, and the snacks are distracting the girls from any chills they might be getting. I’ve purchased the whole enchilada that the drive-in is hocking: a snack package that includes two huge buckets of popcorn, a big bag of Twizzlers, a box of Junior Mints and two large fountain sodas. It’s enough to rot all our teeth out, but this is the movie experience that they deserve.
Frozen’s opening credits begin to roll, and the girls are wedged between Hannah and me as we lean against the pillows in the back of the truck. About five minutes in, I feel her staring at the side of my face, so I turn my chin in her direction.
The look I’m hit with, one of absolute raw emotion on that gorgeous face, paralyzes me. In Hannah’s expression, I see every ounce of love, adoration, and appreciation I’ve always wished she’d regard me with. We stay like that, our eyes locked, for what feels like a very long time.