“Hey,” I say when I see him. My voice comes out shy, though I’m not sure why.
“Hey yourself.” He smiles and winks at me. Damn that wink. When this man winks at me, it’s like he’s telling me a secret, something that’s special for me and me alone. I’m sure he knows what it does to me, but I don’t care.
“You’re early.” I grin. I know Barrett, and I know he’s probably been pacing at home, twirling a pen with his fingers while he walks around, until he couldn’t stand it any longer. We haven’t had an actual date alone in a long time, and I think we’re both anxious and nervous at the same time.
“Am I? If anything, I think I’m late.” And I know what he means, this date is a long time coming.
“Maybe right on time. How’s that?” I ask as I sidle up to his side.
He pulls me in closer and kisses my cheek lightly.
“All right, geez, get on out of here, you two. Y’all are gonna make me gag up my dinner, and I’d prefer to keep it down,” my dad says slowly, making his way into the room. He’s a well-spoken Southern boy with enough charm to still make my mother swoon. He never fully lost his southern accent, and it seems to get thicker when he needs it to.
“All right, we’ll go. Bye, Daddy. Love you.”
“Love you too, princess. Make smart choices,” he says as he raises his eyebrows at the two of us. This makes me almost break out into laughter, but no matter how old I am, I know not to laugh at my dad.
“We will,” I promise him instead. “Bye, Mom,” I say as she emerges from the kitchen, chocolate still on her fingers and a brush of it on her forehead. And I wonder where I get it from.
“Bye, you two. Have fun tonight.”
“Thanks. Love you guys,” I say again, because I’ve learned never to miss an opportunity to tell someone that I love them.
Barrett reaches into the closet and retrieves my jacket. Or, his jacket, rather. His bright red and black letterman’s jacket from Liberty High School, showing his devotion to our beloved Bobcats. Last time I knew, the jacket was hanging in the closet of my bedroom, so I’m not sure how it got down here. I glance over at my mom, who has a huge smile on her face, and my un-asked question is answered.
It’s been a few years since I slid my arms into this jacket. I smell the collar, hoping it still smells like Barrett like it used to. I still remember when he asked me to wear it, and I put it on for the first time. Embarrassingly enough, I actually slept in it. I couldn’t escape his smell if I was sleeping in it, and it gave me such an incredible comfort.
“Get a good sniff?” Barrett asks, a knowing smirk gracing his lips.
“I had to check,” I tell him.
“And? What’s the verdict?”
I make a big show of inhaling deep, and it does, in fact, smell exactly how he smelled when I first put it on. In fact, I’m pretty sure he snuck in and sprayed cologne on it. Sneaky man.
“Smells like some guy I met once.”
“Must be a stud to have smelled that awesome that you remember it.”
“Or stunk. You never know.”
“Ha ha, funny girl. You ready?”
“I am now.” I grin up at him.
We walk out the door and Barrett immediately reaches for me. I look down at our laced hands slowly swinging between the two of us and feel such peace. I glance up into his dark hazel eyes and momentarily feel lost in the depth of love I have for him.
“Me too.”
“Huh?” I respond.
“Me too. I feel it, too, Tess. Whenever I’m in your presence. I feel it. Always. Forever.”
Tears spring to my eyes, and I let out a breath I actually knew I’d been holding. I smile at him because, honestly, that’s all that he needs. He knows my inner thoughts just as I know his.
And he’s right.
Always.
Forever.
My smile widens when I see the pickup parked on the street in front of my parents’ house. A dark maroon, late 80s-model Chevy pickup sits waiting for us, looking immaculate. I look up at Barrett with wonder. It’s exactly what he drove the first time I rode in a vehicle with him. “How did you get this thing?”
His smile is wide, and eyes full of mischief. “I have my ways,” he says. I have no idea what he has going on right now, but this certainly surprises me. He opens the passenger door for me, and I slide in before he closes the door behind me. I take a deep breath, the smell permeating my senses, memories of all those hours spent in here washing over me in waves.
The driver side door opens, and he climbs in behind the wheel. He looks over and quietly says, “C’mere.”
So I do. I slide over the velvety cloth bench seat until I’m nestled in close to his side.
“Close enough?” he asks with a smile on his face.
I shake my head as I try to burrow in closer, and he chuckles lowly. He throws an arm around my shoulders and leans down to place a kiss right below my ear. Heat blossoms all over, just as it does every single time he kisses me there.
“Hi.” He smiles at me. “That was the proper greeting I wanted to give my girl but not with her daddy breathing down my neck,” he says, mock teasing me for my use of the word daddy. He knows I’ll never change no matter how old I am, and he doesn’t expect or want me to.
“I like that greeting. And you’re right. Daddy probably wouldn’t have enjoyed that particular greeting. I’m never allowed to grow up, according to him. So what’s the plan?”
“Well, maybe you’ll have to wait and see. It’s a long overdue date night with my girl, and I have no intentions of wasting a single second,” he says as he shifts the pickup into drive and pulls out into the street.
Since the moment Barrett picked me up at my parents’ house, the memories have been flooding through me. Between seeing him in his ridiculous outfit, climbing into the pickup that held so many memories, wearing his letterman’s jacket that even smelled like I remembered him smelling when we were first dating, the perfection of our time at the drive-in… it’s all come to a head. And now sitting here, on the bench that holds the best memory of all, tears begin to prick the back of my eyes. This place has become special to us. For every special occasion, we come back to this place. Pictures on our wedding day… pictures with each of our children here shortly after they were born... It’s become a place that holds such value in our hearts but brings such comfort as well.
As Barrett slowly stands up and then lowers himself down to one knee, the emotions that have been sitting at the surface all evening begin to bubble over, and I can’t hold back the tears that begin to trickle down my cheeks. My right hand goes to my mouth, my left being held by Barrett as he smiles up at me. With his free hand, he brushes away the tears with his thumb.
“My emotional sap,” he murmurs and smiles lightly at me.
I smile back at him and sniff unattractively as I wipe the rest of the tears from my face with the back of my hand, not wanting to miss a moment of what is about to happen.
My mind is racing, shifting back and forth between past and present when this same beautiful man dropped to one knee in front of me so many years ago, dressed quite similarly, but with far more nerves radiating off him then. He spoke so clearly, so sure of himself, even though his hands and mine were shaking.