My entire body felt hot, and it wasn’t from the steam. “I’m hiding from the kids. They’re trying to find me.” I sucked in a deep breath to calm my nerves. It was a futile effort. “I need to go before they do.”
I started to turn, but Liam’s free hand caught my waist. “We need to talk.” His green eyes practically ensnared mine.
Holy hell, my heart was in my throat, hammering away with no hope of stopping. “Not now,” I hissed, desperate to get out of the bathroom before the kids got close enough to figure out that it wasn’t just me inside. “Not here.”
“Did you get my letter?”
I wasn’t sure if I was more afraid to get caught by the kids or face Liam’s question. I’d never had a panic attack before, but I was sure this was what it felt like. My skin was all clammy, and my throat went dry while my heart pounded heavily in my chest. “Yes.” One simple word, but I could barely make it sound like one. It was all breathy, not at all confident like I’d been feeling as of late. I couldn’t lie to the man, but I was uncertain what would happen now that everything was out in the open.
His gaze left my eyes and slid down my body, stopping at the rise and fall of my chest. “You seem nervous. Do I make you nervous?”
I slammed my lids closed, but that didn’t stop me from feeling his dominating presence and taking in his powerful scent. Liam wanted me, and I was still trying to figure out all the reasons why it wouldn’t work. My mind was blank, my stomach in knots, and all I could think about was just how much I wanted to accept his proposition.
Even if just for one night.
I’d never had anything like what Liam was proposing. Could I do that? Could I strip down bare for Liam knowing it could only ever be casual?
A voice on the other side of the door yanked me from my thoughts. “Chelsea,” called Brendan.
My eyes shot open, meeting Liam’s unfazed gaze. I opened my mouth to respond when Liam’s palm covered it, and he held a finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet.
“It’s just me,” Liam said, his eyes on me while his lips curled up mischievously. “Did you try upstairs?”
My eyes bulged at him incredulously. As soon as Brendan’s and the girls’ footsteps faded away, I pushed into Liam’s chest with my hands. “I’m working, Liam.” I hissed my words, still managing to stay quiet. “I can’t just disappear on them.”
Liam shrugged. “You’re playing hide-and-seek. Let them seek for a few more minutes. We need to talk about the letter.” His eyes searched mine. “I laid it all out there. How do you feel about it?”
I sighed and leaned against the door. “I feel—confused.”
Liam closed the distance again, his fingers tipping up my chin. “You don’t look confused, Chelsea. In fact, I think it’s the exact opposite.”
I swallowed, struggling to find the energy to combat his efforts. He was completely right.
He smiled as if he could read my thoughts. “I can’t imagine being this close to you and not pursuing you. I can’t imagine going back to London without having ever had the chance with you. I want you, Chelsea Banks, and I dare to imagine that you might just want me too.”
Those words. They were straight from the letter. The effects of them sent a tingle throughout my body. “What are you proposing exactly?”
“Did I not make that clear?”
I let out another breath. “You want one night with me? Then you’ll be done with me?”
His gaze darkened, and he leaned down to brush his lips against my cheek. “I want to fuck you, Chelsea Banks. And the only promise I can make is that you will come harder than anyone from those romance books you like to read. All I’m asking for is a chance.”
His words knocked the wind out of me to the point that I wondered if I was flying. No man had ever spoken to me like that. But from the warmth spreading between my legs, I realized that maybe I had been missing out.
“I don’t know if it’s a smart idea.” I was trying to do the right thing, but I hated that I was potentially sabotaging something I so desperately wanted.
Liam pulled back, shaking his head slowly. “Oh, it’s a terrible idea, but it’s the best I can think of.” He searched my eyes again. “Let me come to your place tonight, and let’s see what happens.”
After what felt like a million moments, I squeezed my eyes shut, silently praying that I wouldn’t regret my next response. Then I nodded.
21
Liam
At half-past eleven, when I knew everyone in the Hogue manor was asleep, I slipped out the back door of the kitchen and walked across the open foyer, down the side of the house toward the pool gate and let myself inside.
I’d already texted Chelsea, so she was expecting me when I walked up to her door. I didn’t even knock before she opened it and whisked me inside. I didn’t know what to expect when I saw her, though I’d let a fairly intense scene play out in my mind in the hours leading up to my arrival—one that consisted of throwing her against the wall and kissing the hell out of her before picking her up by her arse and carrying her to the bedroom. But the second I saw her, I forgot all about my lucid fantasies and turned my attention on the now, the present, my reality, not the produced reality of my former world. The differences were not too subtle.
There was a numbness that came along with being the British Bachelor, almost a form of subliminal force that constantly put me at the top of my game, but that wasn’t me. I wasn’t the man who wore suits to attend fancy affairs or even one who needed the constant publicity to make me feel whole. I wore ripped jeans and T-shirts on the daily, and I much preferred quiet nights to lavish social gatherings—preferably with someone who made life feel effortless, no matter the season, someone who reminded me to value my time rather than rush it. Someone like Chelsea.
All of these reasons played into my restraint, which was why her clothes were still on. I stopped at the door, my gaze slow and sweeping around the room. The lights were dim, with only a tall lamp lit in the corner of her living area along with another light coming from her bedroom. Her small house looked perfectly tidy with every loose article placed where it belonged. I couldn’t help but feel like it was a gesture that told me she cared, and my heart grew warmer because of it.
“Do you want anything to drink? Wine. Beer. Water?” She was already walking over to the refrigerator when she asked the question.
It was then that I realized she hadn’t met my eyes at all. Alcohol was the obvious choice, but I wanted to have a clear head for tonight, for whatever was about to happen.
“Water would be fantastic.”
She nodded and pulled out two bottled waters from her fridge, then walked back to me, still not making eye contact.
“Thank you,” I said, biting down on my smile. I decided to see how things went.
She was obviously nervous, but I wanted to make sure it was for the right reasons. I watched her fiddle with the record player near the lamp.
When a familiar tune by The 1975 came on, I walked forward, impressed. “Good choice.”
She turned to look at me over her shoulder. “I think I’ve listened to their new album about a hundred times in the past two weeks.”