Well, fuck. He had a good point. I chose not to test the waters any further and, instead, got dressed in the gray tailored suit, tossed some water on my hair, and tried to make it appear somewhat presentable. In minutes, I looked like the British Bachelor again—the man the show had created—the man I thought, at the time, I wanted to be.
Just wearing the suit made me feel as slimy as I had back then, like a fraud dressed to fool the world, and I instantly craved what I had back in Providence. Not just Chelsea, though she was my number-one reason for wanting to go back, but because, for the first time in a long time, I’d felt like myself.
This wasn’t me. This was the lie I’d agreed to live, but I was willing to come back to make for the quickest and cleanest exit possible. Only then would I be able to move forward.
“Well,” I said when Bart still hadn’t looked up from his phone. “What’s the plan?”
He sent his message and slid his phone back in his pocket. “Right. The plan.” He leaned back against the seat, setting his arms on either side of him. “Our plan is to agree with everything they ask of you to avoid a breach of contract.”
My jaw dropped. “That’s it? That’s your brilliant plan?”
Bart raised his brows in a challenge. “You’ll go to whatever interviews they book for you throughout the week, ending with a live reunion taping on Monday night.”
“Wait a bloody minute,” I said with a shake of my head. I must not have heard him right. “Reunion taping? They already aired that.”
“Precisely. And you missed it. Lucky for you, they rebooked it, and all of your lovely ladies will be there to greet you. Directly following the taping, you have bookings on two late-night shows, then you can have your kip after everything you’re scheduled for throughout the week.”
“Can you be more specific?”
Bart scrolled through his phone then read off dozens of radio and television and entertainment news names. I was already overwhelmed.
“You’ll be under fire this week,” Bart said in close. “I hope you’re ready.”
I shook my head, letting out a frustrated laugh. “Why do these people act like I owe them something? This is my life, and they’re making a mockery of it.”
“Considering you signed up for a show where you were expected to fall in love and failed, I believe you do, in fact, owe them something. You were a coward by leaving everyone hanging. Now it’s time to make the viewers happy.”
As much as I wanted to lunge for Bart for calling me a coward, his words rang true deep in my chest. I had been a coward. Disappearing had been much easier than facing the aftermath that had surfaced once viewers saw that I couldn’t commit. In the end, everyone was just doing their jobs. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t get a say in what gave the network good ratings. I was just the bait.
We arrived at the network’s building in Marylebone’s Portland Place where we were escorted from the parking garage into the back entrance of the office then to a small conference room. When we entered, a group of executives, producers, directors—familiar faces from when we’d taped the show—were sitting in wait.
As soon as everyone spotted me, they were on their feet, wearing smiles that told me they were glad to see me again. I wasn’t fooled by the warm hugs and firm handshakes or the encouraging voices telling me that they were so glad I was back. I was their puppet, nothing more, in a world they had created, and I had malfunctioned miserably.
Bart led me to a spot on the other side of the table, then we all settled into our seats as the conference door closed with a heavy boom.
“How was your holiday, Liam? Well worth it, we hope.” Vince Petri, Executive Producer of British Bachelor, was directly across the table from me when he spoke, sending a quick chill up my spine. He was in his early fifties with smooth tan skin and white-white hair. He was a legend to the entertainment community and a man to be feared behind closed doors. Out of everyone in the room, he was the one I trusted the least.
“It was a much-needed getaway. Thank you for asking.”
Bart shot me a hard look and shook his head, telling me not to respond again. “Liam is eager to make things right.”
Vince leaned forward slightly while his broad shoulders pushed back. “Let me remind everyone here that Liam walked off a production set while still filming, was a no-show on the reunion episode, then skipped out on every single scheduled appearance since. I should hope he wants to make things right.”
I shifted in my seat and glared at Bart beside me. “I do, Vince. You have my word on that.”
Already, the conversation was going horribly wrong. I wasn’t there to defend myself or to play into the media’s hands. I was there to move on and to figure out how to do so.
“Well, good.” Vince gave a smug smile. “I have to say, up until that final episode aired, our ratings were the highest they’ve ever been. We lost a lot of credibility as a show when you did what you did.”
I nodded. “In retrospect, I do believe I could have handled things better. I reacted poorly to the situation, and I’m ready to discuss that. However, I can’t take all the credit for the fan and media’s reaction. It would have been nice if the show had given me an edit that didn’t make me look like the bad guy, but—” I raised my hands in the air in a gesture to show I was ready for the consequences.
Vince’s chuckle echoed off the walls. Then he threw his hands up. “Someone had to be the bad guy.”
I clenched my jaw before releasing it to speak. “I didn’t sign on to be your bad guy.”
“You certainly weren’t our hero in the end, now were you? Heroes don’t disappear when everyone needs them.”
Buried anger crawled out from my chest with Vince’s words. I’d kept so much of my frustration toward the show tucked away to the point that even I’d started to believe the man they’d painted me to be. Sure, I could take accountability for my actions. Disappearing had been wrong. But sitting there and listening to Vince speak only reminded me of the toxic environment I’d walked away from.
“I disappeared because, at the time, I felt like it was the only option. I wasn’t in love with those women, and they weren’t in love with me. Explaining that to the media after the way I was portrayed in that final episode was impossible.”
Bart rested a hand on my arm, signaling for me to refrain from speaking. He turned to Vince. “I think we’re all here for the right reasons. Let’s talk about the week ahead. It’s my strong feeling that we need to expose Liam’s vulnerability here. He thought he was ready for love, but clearly, he wasn’t. I think that’s a very human thing to realize.”
Vince pursed his lips, and he looked to be pondering Bart’s suggestion. “Yes, but is it enough to make Liam relatable to the fans of the show again? That’s what they’re looking for.”
Bart settled back into his chair. “Liam, you can correct me, but I believe it’s deeper than anything ever discussed on the show. There was a lot of talk about your brother’s death. Viewers are well aware of your tragic loss, since it was such a significant topic of conversation. You’ve already mentioned how it’s affected many aspects of your life, especially when it comes to women. Do you believe that may have played a part in your commitment issues?”