I feel tears in the back of my eyes, and I grab on to his face and kiss him, pouring my soul into his.
Our bodies are slick—covered in our sweat and my arousal. We’re both screaming profanities and each others names in between passionate kisses. We never take our eyes off each other. My eyes are telling him what my voice can’t say. His eyes are singing back the same words as we both find ecstasy and fall together.
“I love you, baby,” he whispers into my hair as he cradles my body into his.
I find sleep easily that night. Dreamless sleep.
The next morning, I feel sunlight hitting my face and open my eyes slowly. I try to move, but I’m being held hostage by a strong warm arm. I look over at Cole and find him awake, his eyes smiling at me.
“How long have you been up?” I croak out.
“About thirty minutes,” he says looking at me in wonder.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I ask, trying and failing to shimmy out of his hold.
“I was watching you sleep. I love watching you sleep,” he says dreamily.
I smile. I love watching him sleep, too.
“I have to pee,” I say, squirming again.
He chuckles and kisses my lips roughly before letting me go. A couple of minutes later—as I brush my teeth—Cole comes in and stands behind me.
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” he warns, wrapping his arms around me and looking at our reflection in the mirror.
I half smile with the toothbrush in my mouth. We look good together. Always did.
“I’m not thinking anything,” I mumble in protest before I spit out toothpaste and rinse my mouth.
He turns my body to face his and lifts me to sit on the counter. He takes a deep breath and puts his forehead against mine.
“You’re not getting away from me this time, Blake,” he says seriously.
I back away a little, so I can look into his eyes. He’s dead serious. I inwardly curse myself for having sex with him last night. As much as I love the idea of being with Cole, it also scares me out of my mind, which is why I hadn’t entertained the idea in such a long time.
“I never got away last time, Cole,” I say tearing my eyes away from his and concentrating on the nice bathroom tile.
He stares at me for a long moment before taking a deep breath and walking over to the shower to switch it on. As he walks back, he strips off his boxers, stands in front of me, pulls my shirt off, and takes my mouth in his.
“It doesn’t matter, baby,” he says against my lips. “That’s in the past.”
He lifts me up and walks us over to the shower, holding me tightly against his body. I lean my head on his shoulder and smile contently. As scared as I am to get involved with him again, I know I can’t continue to live my life with him as just a friend. I can’t keep letting him date other women and act like I’m okay with it, because I’m not. As he slides me down his body, I smile at him and let myself feel happy. I just need to figure out how to keep him in my life. Safely.
Chapter 9
Past
I was waiting for Cole to pick me up for our anniversary date. I knew he had planned something special because Becky made sure I pampered more than usual. She asked me about a hundred times if I remembered to shave my legs. She even checked my underarms. That girl was something else. She gave me the “birds and the bees” talk—in her own strange way—which was hilarious.
“You’re still on the pill, right?” Becky asked anxiously.
“Jesus, Becky, yes!” I replied, rolling my eyes.
She let out a breath. “Chill out, Blake. I just want this to be perfect for you. I don’t want you to worry about anything later.”
Cole and I hadn’t gone past second base—mainly because we were interrupted every.single.time we were about to do more. I had no idea how Becky and Greg found a way to have sex in our house when they stayed here on weekends.
When I heard the doorbell ring, I smiled and sprinted to the door. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered when I saw Cole leaning against the doorframe. The backward baseball cap he was wearing hid his messy brown hair and made his green eyes look bigger and brighter. He was wearing his dark-wash jeans, black boots, and a black cable sweater that hugged his defined body. He licked his lips slowly as his eyes wandered over my body. He took every inch of me in, making me feel exposed in a way that only he could. I smiled and threw my arms around his neck, as he chuckled and pulled me close to him, lifting me and snuggling his face in the crook of my neck.
“I love how you smell,” he whispered. “You look beautiful as always.”
“So do you...as always,” I replied with a smile.
I inhaled his scent, a mix of his favorite Jean Paul Gaultier cologne and the pine-and-clove body wash he used. He smelled like a masculine Christmas tree. My favorite smell in the world was Cole. He closed the door behind us and walked me to his car. I still had no idea where he was taking me but that was what usually happened when Cole took me out. He insisted that everything be a surprise, and even though I hated surprises, I always loved his. When we got into the car, he took out a blindfold and showed it to me.
My eyes widened. “No. Hell. No!”
He bit down on his lip to keep from laughing at the expression on my face. “Please? It’s only until we get there. I want this to be a surprise,” he pouted. Damn it. I hated when he pouted, he looked so cute.
My shoulders slumped. “Fine, but if I start freaking out you’ll take it off, right?”
His smile was replaced by a frown. “Of course, baby. Why would you freak out?”
The truth was, I didn’t know, but as soon as I saw the blindfold, my heart went into overdrive. I took a deep breath and let him blindfold me. I was with Cole, I was safe.
We drove for what seemed like hours, even though Cole assured me it had only been ten minutes. When the car stopped, I heard him take a deep breath and shift in his seat.
“I’m going to take it off now, okay?” I faced the window so that he could untie it.
I blinked a couple of times before my face broke into a smile. I stared at the Bed and Breakfast in awe; I couldn’t believe he remembered. We’d gotten a flat tire in front of that place before we started dating. I remembered telling Cole something about it looking romantic and hoping my future boyfriend would take me there someday. I remembered him choking on the water he was drinking at the mention of a future boyfriend taking me to a bed-and-breakfast but never thought anything of it.
“I hope you didn’t make plans for tomorrow morning,” he said snapping me out of the memory. I looked over to him and smiled so wide my face hurt.
“I can’t believe you remembered,” I said, shaking my head.
“How could I not remember? I would never forget anything my favorite girl tells me,” he replied before giving me a soft peck on the lips.
After checking us in, Cole led me to our room. The rooms were close together, and I wondered if Cole was out of his mind booking this place for our first time—because this had to be our first time. The rooms were closer together here than they were at Maggie’s. When he opened the door to our room, we stepped into a spacious Victorian style mini palace. It had a large white four post king-size bed, an adorable vanity, and a bathroom bigger than the one we had at Maggie’s.