“Daddy!” I shriek as I run toward him out of breath from laughing so hard.
Nathan has been chasing me through the open plain. We’re playing tag, and Nathan’s it. Daddy looks up and the crinkled lines on his forehead disappear when he sees me running to him. He smiles and opens his arms, so I can jump into them. In his embrace, he starts tickling me, making me laugh harder. He stops when I tell him I have to use the potty. Daddy gets up and tells Grandpa we’ll be right back. Grandpa has black and gray hair, and his eyes are gray, like mine and Mommy’s. I like that. Grandpa pats my head like a puppy when I pass him and tells Daddy that time is running out.
“Time is running out for what, Daddy?” I ask, turning to him.
“Nothing, Baby Girl. It’s just grown-up talk,” he replies with a smile. It’s the smile he has when he’s worried. I don’t like Daddy worrying about anything. When he worries, him and Mommy fight, and it makes me sad. They always tell me they love each other and that sometimes grown ups fights. I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to fight like Mommy and Daddy.
“Are we leaving soon?” I ask. I don’t want to leave Nathan. We’re having so much fun.
“Yes, baby, we have to. I have a lot of work to do when I get home.”
I walk into the bathroom by myself and tell Daddy to stand by the door. He leaves it cracked open, so I can see him while I do pee-pee. I don’t need his help today because I’m a big girl. I’m going to be four soon. That’s almost all of the fingers on my right hand. I smile. I wipe, get down, and flush the toilet.
“Daddy,” I call out excitedly.
He steps in with a smile.
“I did it!” I shriek with a fist-pump jump. “Like a big girl.”
Daddy smiles brightly and carries me to the sink, so I can wash my hands.
“Yes, baby, like a big girl, but don’t get too big on me now.” He kisses my cheek and I laugh.
We go back outside, and I look for Nathan. I see his messy brown hair running behind the bushes.
“Nathan,” I shriek as I run to him. “I went potty like a big girl.”
Nathan runs to me, his bright eyes happy. “Did you do it like I taught you?”
I shake my head. “No, Daddy says princesses sit to use the potty. Only boys potty standing.”
“I thought you wanted to be a G.I. Joe?” he asks, making his forehead wrinkle like Daddy’s. I can tell he’s not happy.
“I do,” I reply. I don’t want to make him mad. “But I want to be a princess, too.”
“You can’t be both,” he says.
“Is this a fight?” I ask, putting my fists on my waist.
He shrugs.
“We can’t fight, Nathan. Only grown ups fight.”
He looks at me and messes up my sweaty hair. “I’m not fighting...princess. Tag, you’re it,” he screams and runs away.
“Hey, that’s no fair,” I scream, laughing as I run after him.
Nathan is a lot faster than me. When we race, he always beats me. His legs are longer than mine. He always lets me catch him when we play tag though. I’m running after him, and I notice he’s running way past the house toward the barn. When I get close to the barn, I see Michael writing on a piece of paper. Michael has pretty eyes—the same color as the sky. Michael is my uncle. I’ve told him that he’s my only uncle, but he says he’s not. He asks me if I remember his brother. I only saw my other uncle a couple of times. He lives far away. I kind of sort of remember what he looks like…I think. One day I’m going to have a brother, too.
“Uncle Michael,” I scream.
“Hey, Baby Girl,” he says, smiling. “Are you having fun playing with Nathan?”
I stop running. “Yes, but he’s very fast. I have to make my legs go really fast to catch him.”
He chuckles. “Wanna know a secret? One day he’s going to be chasing you, and you’re going to be the one that he can’t catch.”
I look at him confused. I like when Nathan catches me. “What are you drawing?” I ask, trying to peek at his paper.
“I’m not drawing. I’m doing homework.”
“Oh...Mommy says they’re going to give me homework when I start school this year.”
“Your mommy is right. She’s really smart, too. She used to help us do our homework when we were little.”
I smile. Mommy is smart. I continue running to the barn, and I see Nathan standing under the shade.
“Slow poke!” he screams.
“Am not!” I shout back. “I was talking to Uncle Michael.”
“Uh-huh, sure,” he teases.
I stand next to Nathan, but as I tag him I hear Daddy’s voice. “Blakey, let’s go,” he calls out loudly.
“I have to go,” I say sadly to Nathan.
“It’s okay. I have to go soon, too. Are you coming back next weekend?”
“Nope,” I say, smiling. “Daddy and Mommy are taking me to Disney World for my birthday.”
“Cool. Bye then.”
I walk back to the big house and see Daddy talking to Grandpa and Uncle Michael. On our way home, I remember that I left my Rainbow Brite doll outside the house. I fall asleep before I remember to tell Daddy.
I wake up in a pool of sweat, breathing heavily. My heart is pumping so rapidly that I’m scared my blood flow will start streaming out of my ears. I lean over to my dresser and clumsily search for my phone, panting as I hit the dial button.
“Hello?” he says, his voice raspy.
“Sorry to wake you up.”
“No, baby, I asked you to. Bad dream?”
“Yes...no. I don’t know,” I spurt out.
He exhales. “3:32,” he mutters, and I look at the time.
“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.”
“Stop apologizing. I’m glad you did. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really. I just wanted to hear your voice,” I say weakly.
“Okay, baby. Just go to sleep with me on the phone. I love you.”
“Thank you.” I love you. I love you more than you’ll ever know, Cole Murphy.
The next morning, I call Veronica and tell her that I urgently need to speak to her. She squeezes me in between two clients at 2:00. Classes start again next week, and this is my last week interning at Ross and Chevy Law. I’m going to take my lunch at 2:00 so that I won’t have to ask for half the day off—again.
My day at the office flies by, and when I look at the time it’s 1:30. I call Cole on my way to Lewis’. Cole’s on a show called Around the Horn today, but it airs at 5:00, so he should still be home.
“Hey, baby,” he greets.
“Hey,” I say, shuffling between a pack of angry lawyers in the lobby.
“What are you up to?” he asks with a smile in his voice.
“Just took lunch. I’m on my way to meet Veronica, so I can discuss whatever she called me about and tell her about the break-in.”
“Did you eat?”
“Nah, I’ll eat a granola bar and drink a protein shake on my way back though.”
“Blake,” he reprimands. “You need to eat.”