“I just told you.”
“What if something had happened? Fran was going to drive up to you on Monday so she’d be there when you woke up. What if you hadn’t?”
“Hadn’t what? Woken up? Don’t be so fucking dramatic, bro.”
I drove the heel of my spare hand into my forehead. “It’s not being dramatic when I had to find out in some shit waiting room that you’d flatlined the first time round.”
Silence. Then a drug-heavy sigh. “Whatever. I’m still here. Tell Fran I’ll call her tomorrow.”
“Don’t go.”
“Dude, I’m fucked. I’m dribbling down myself as it is, and some drill sergeant nurse is about to take my phone off me.”
I leaned heavily against the kitchen counter, picturing him as I’d left him—alone in a hospital bed. “I love you, man.”
“I know. I love you too. Call me tomorrow.”
“I will.”
Billy hung up, leaving me staring at the phone like an idiot, but that was nothing new. What was unusual was the yearning pull in my gut for my pain-in-the-arse little brother. Hospital aside, it had been years since we’d spent any quality time together. For so long I’d been numb to it, angry with him for bringing trouble home, and a fucking expert at convincing myself our dilapidated relationship didn’t matter. But it did matter. He mattered. And now perspective had returned for good, I missed him so much it hurt.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Mia
“You want to what?” I sat up on my elbows, unsure if I’d heard Luke right.
He laughed, and the shadows that too often haunted his gorgeous face were fleetingly gone. “Don’t sound so surprised. We used to ride up the beacon all the time.”
“Yeah, when I was a teenager. I haven’t ridden a push bike in years.”
Luke gave me a filthy look that sent heat roiling through my blood, but he didn’t voice the joke. Just rolled over and out of bed. “Fran has one you can borrow. Come on, it’s too nice a day to stay indoors.”
I begged to differ. After a few days of hell, I’d kind of counted on spending the entire day in his bed, napping, fucking, and ordering in food to make up for his empty fridge. Riding his mum’s bike up a giant hill was the last thing I wanted to do.
But his enthusiasm was too endearing to ignore. Grumbling, I claimed the first shower, then met him downstairs to find he’d magicked up the breakfast of dreams. Crisp bacon stuffed into soft white rolls, dripping with butter and fruity HP sauce. Damn. After that, there was probably wasn’t much he couldn’t convince me to do.
He settled for taking a shower, then hustling me out of the house. After swinging by his mother’s house to fetch her fucking pink bike, we hit the road. And God, if it didn’t feel incredible. We cycled out of town, my virgin legs wobbly at first until the gym time I’d spent on my thighs kicked in. Then I was flying, the sun in my face, the wind in my hair, my gaze fixed on Luke’s muscled, lean frame as he led the way. Thankfully, Sunday traffic was minimal.
We rode two miles to the beacon, a steep, craggy hill that you could see the whole county from. In the car park, Luke stopped and offered me water from the bag I hadn’t noticed strapped to his back because I’d been too busy ogling his arse.
“Surviving?”
I swatted him, pointing at my mouth full of water to let him know I wouldn’t hesitate to spray him. When I’d swallowed, I shrugged. “Okay, you win. This is fun. I don’t fancy that hill, though. It’s huge.”
“That’s the point.”
“What is?”
He tilted his head to one side, the sun glinting on his hair. “That when everything seems too much, there’s always a mountain you can climb.”
Oakenhoe Beacon was hardly a mountain, but I took his point. What had happened over the weekend was still hovering at the edge of my consciousness—as though as long as I kept myself busy, I wouldn’t have to deal with it—but riding up a steep hill on my borrowed bike, trailing in Luke’s strong wake...yeah, I could do that.
We set off for the hill. Luke moved like an athlete, but I struggled. My legs shook, and my wheels wobbled, and the peak of the slope seemed a thousand miles away. Panting, I kept my gaze fixed on Luke’s back, wondering if he’d turn around and come back for me, but he didn’t, and the irony kept me going until I was twenty feet from the summit.
By then, Luke was at the top. He hopped off his bike and set it aside. He turned, and the sun was behind him, making him seem almost seraphic, though the light was cast in such a way I couldn’t tell if he was looking at me.
I pedalled harder, relishing the lactic acid filling my legs, channelling the chaos in my life into my burning muscles. I’d always enjoyed this kind of pain—the productive discomfort that kept my world turning, driving forward when the devil had other plans. That Luke was waiting for me at the finish line now made me feel like I was dreaming. Pain became pleasure, and when I finally reached the top of the hill, I was giddy with endorphins.
My bike clattered to the ground as I wobbled to a stop. Luke caught me and lifted me clear, and I whooped with laughter as he spun me around. “Oh my God, I just about died.”
“No, you didn’t.” He whirled around one more time before setting me down. “You’re alive, baby.”
I was. I’d been living my whole damn life, but despite the cloud hanging over me, it had been years since I’d felt so free.
Dizzy, I threw my arms around Luke’s neck and kissed him, losing myself to the sensation of his perfect lips on mine, his velvet tongue darting cheekily into my mouth. My world narrowed to just him, blocking out the ramblers and families around us. My body craved him as much as it ever had, but I didn’t need him to fuck me like we’d been doing the last few weeks. I needed him to love me, to lay me down and show me without words that everything we’d forged was real.
Like he’d read my mind, he pulled away with a deep chuckle. “I wish we were at home.”
“Why?”
“So you’d know.”
His half sentences had always frustrated and completed me in equal measure, but there was no rush of irritation now. He got me, and I got him.
We kissed one more time, then retrieved our bikes. We pushed them to a shaded tree and sat down to enjoy the view, Luke leaning against the wide oak’s trunk, me between his legs, my back to his chest while he nuzzled my neck. For long, blissful minutes, I was able to forget there was anything else, but eventually, reality returned like a creeping vine.
“What am I going to do?”