Meet Dex
Barista by day.
Engaged to the baddest rock star in the world by night.
Well, fake engaged.
I mean, what’s one more lie, right?
To be fair, it was Dex’s idea.
In trouble one too many times…
Now he needs me to make him look tame.
Trust me, there is no taming this wild hunk.
He’s built from muscle, music, and a thirst for women.
He can do whatever he wants.
Just as long as holds up his end of this crazy lie.
The engagement ring on my finger is just for show.
But now these feelings between us...
Well, maybe he’ll end up with another love ballad to play when this ends.
We were supposed to play pretend.
But there’s no pretending between the sheets.
And now I’m looking at Dex questioning what’s fake and real…
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Dex
“My ass is going to get fired for this, man.”
“Why?” I asked as I took the ticket and the pen through the jail cell bars.
They were an ugly yellow color, and the walls were the same with the paint chipped. Definitely not a scary kind of jail. Then again, it was a holding cell. And the dude in the next cell sat on a bench all alone, crying like a baby. He had his hands in his face, talking about his wife leaving him.
I looked at the ticket and shook my head.
Funny enough it wasn’t the first time I was autographing a ticket.
And not signing the ticket because I was accepting a ticket or admitting any sort of guilt.
This was for a fan.
“Love you guys so much,” Officer Rocsen said. “Saw you on your first tour. Fuck, even before that. The little shit clubs on the strip, man. I was there. Long hair, screaming the lyrics…”
I lifted my eyes. “You cut your hair, huh?”
“Had to.”
“Fucking society.”
“It’s called a fucking paycheck.”
“I respect that then,” I said.
I wrote on the ticket and handed it back through the bars.
Officer Rocsen grabbed the ticket and looked around to make sure he wasn’t going to get busted.
“You’d get in trouble for this?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah,” he said. “Last year someone took a selfie with a celebrity who got picked up on DUI and got canned.”
“You better hide that ticket,” I said.
“Are you going to say something?”
“Fuck no, brother,” I said. “We’re good. But, hey, what’s with the crier over here?”
“Oh, that guy,” Officer Rocsen said. “He was in a park, on a slide, getting… serviced…”
“Paid for?” I asked.
Officer Rocsen nodded.
“Damn,” I said. “Did you let him finish at least?”
“I didn’t make the arrest.”
“The way he’s crying… not a chance he finished. Damn.”
“That’s on him,” Officer Rocsen said. “Now he’s complaining about his wife leaving him. She won’t come bail him out.”
“See… this is why marriage and love and relationships… it’s all bullshit.”
“Not unless you find the right one.”
“The right one?” I asked. “Give me a break. There’s so many right ones out there.”
“You’re a rock star, man, it’s easy for you. You could get married every night if you wanted to.”
“Then I pop a load and realize it’s just another beautiful woman,” I said. “And we look deep into each other’s eyes and know exactly what just happened. And as her heart is racing, whispering I fucking love you, Dex… have my fucking babies… I gently slide my left foot toward her and guide her ass out of the bed.” I snapped my fingers. “That… is love.”
“That is rock star love.”
“It’s the only kind I know.”
The guy next to me let out another crying whine. Then he fell to his knees and slammed his fists on the floor.
“I love you, Winnie. I can’t lose you. You’ve been distant. It meant nothing…”
“Fuck,” I said. “I can’t be in here much longer.”
“Nothing I can do, man,” Officer Rocsen said.
“Of course there is,” I said. “You just don’t want to risk your ass. Except for an autograph.”
“I take this home to my lady and she’s going to lose her mind,” Officer Rocsen said. “We met after one of your concerts. She was getting sick in a trash can outside the venue. I thought she was drunk but it was food poisoning.”
“You wild son of a bitch,” I said with a smile. “You were going for the cheap fuck after a show… the drunk whore messed up…” I clapped my hands. “Good for you.”
Officer Rocsen laughed. “That’s fucked up. And you’re saying that to a cop?”
“I’m already behind bars, bro,” I said.
“True.”
“So what did you do when you found out she had food poisoning?”
“Got her home and left my number on her nightstand.”
“Nice guy.”
“Checked on her the next morning.”
“Even nicer.”
“She was feeling a little better and wanted to take a shower. I went to start the shower for her and next thing I knew… we were in the shower together.”
“Filthy,” I said with a wink.
Officer Rocsen laughed. “Christ. I can’t believe that I’m talking to Dex from Filthy Line about this shit right now. Meg is going to flip her lid.”
“Give her a call. Get her up on the screen.”
“Oh, man, I wish…”
Officer Rocsen looked around, thinking about it.
A heavy door slammed and the boom echoed for a second.
Someone yelled ‘Where is that fucking piece of shit now?’
I clicked my tongue and grabbed the jail cell bars.
I smiled.
“Well, there’s my ride out of here…”