A soft sob reached my ears, and I turned to see Xander’s head in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he cried. As Simon and Milton both gave their closings, I stared at Xander. It took until the end of Milton’s speech for my brother to look at me.
When he did, he flinched.
I let it show—my anger, my loathing, and my utter disgust. When Judge Wilson dismissed us until her ruling, the crowd emptied out into the hallway.
“I’ll be there in just a second,” I promised Willow.
She nodded, squeezing my hand as she passed by on her way to where her family waited.
I finally opened the envelope Julie left.
With shaking hands, I read the three sheets she’d included and felt simultaneous relief and sorrow. Deep, gut-wrenching sorrow.
“You okay?” Simon asked.
“No. None of it is okay.” I slid the papers back into their envelope, then walked over to my older brother, my idol, the perfect example of love and forgiveness, and openly glared at him as he rose to leave.
“Cam,” Simon warned.
“I need a minute with my brother.” I kept my eyes on Xander.
“Alexander?” Milton probed.
“It’s fine. I’ll meet you out there,” Xander replied.
The courtroom cleared out until it was only us standing between the tables we’d gone to war at.
“No matter what happens, what she rules, I will never forgive you for what just happened. I’m ashamed of you, and Sullivan would be, too. How could you use him like that? Use the fire?”
Xander shook his head at me in confusion. “Forgive me? You’re the one who keeps trying to kill Dad even though the doctors have said he’s not mentally capable of making that choice. And you want to blame this on me? I have no choice but to stick to the decisions he made before he lost his mind, because that man we saw up on the stand is no longer our father!”
“He’s still Dad! He doesn’t want tubes and ventilators! He wants the dignity of making that choice, and you can’t even give him that? You have to shred what’s left of his pride in front of the entire town?” My voice rose.
“You made me do it!” Xander shouted. “Do you think I wanted this? Any of this? I don’t! I said, ‘Hey, Dad, you need a medical power of attorney, just in case you need someone to sign for a surgery or something.’ Do you know when that was?” He shook with anger. “It was five years ago, after Sully died! I never saw this coming! I never wanted this!” He motioned to the courtroom. “Never wanted to be responsible for his care, for making decisions that would mean his life or death over and over and over. But that’s what happened, because you were too busy being a hero to bring your ass home! But they don’t give you medals when you stay home, do they?”
His voice echoed in the empty room, and I began to understand. I’d been so focused on the house of cards crumbling at the top that I hadn’t stopped to look at the foundation. Xander was never going to let me win, because that’s how he saw this.
“You honestly don’t think he deserves to choose what happens to him,” I stated softly.
“He’s not capable of choosing. I have to choose for him. I have to step up, just like always, because you want to take the easy way out. So fine, I have, and I will, and every choice I make for him will be with his life and health in mind. I’m keeping our dad alive as long as I can, Cam. That’s what a son does for his father.”
“Yeah? And what would a brother do for a brother?”
“What do you mean?” Xander asked. “I would fight for you, too.”
God, I hoped not.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I told him, then left the courtroom without another backward glance. Simon led me to a quiet room, where I sat with Willow, her hand steady in mine, her head on my shoulder.
“I told your father on opening day that you were lonely,” she told me.
I turned my head, and she lifted hers.
“He replied that all great and precious things are lonely.”
My brows knit together, and she nodded. That line… Holy shit. The same man who’d mocked me for always having my nose in a book as a kid took the time to read the one I’d declared my favorite, and not just once, but enough to recall that line.
I kissed her forehead with gratitude and held her against my side as we waited for the judge to decide Dad’s fate.
…
“This case is definitely not an easy one,” Judge Wilson told us four hours later. The room held its breath.
“Mr. Daniels,” she said to me. “Your love for your father is obvious. The dedication you’ve shown by moving home and seeing this through is admirable. I truly think you are acting in what you feel is his best interest, and I would have done exactly the same had it been my father who called.”
I nodded as nausea turned my stomach into a cesspool of bile and hope.
“But in order for me to change the current guardianship, your brother has to be proven negligent, and he’s not. He’s stable, with a proven history of caring for your father. I cannot find legal grounds to grant you guardianship, no matter how much I would like to.”
That pit in my stomach filled with dread and defeat as the sour taste of despair hit my tongue.
“Mr. Daniels,” she addressed my brother. “You have done an excellent job of caring for your father’s body. I understand the strain you must be under. Being a parental caregiver isn’t easy. You deserve to keep your guardianship based on your history. However, I would urge you to listen to your father. Though legally, he cannot be deemed competent enough for me to order a DNR on his behalf, I sincerely hope you change your mind.
“The ability to control what happens to our flesh and to choose our future is the core of our personhood. Free will is the most precious of our possessions, and to lose it is a tragedy to which there is no equal. But the compassion we show to those who lack that control—both the very young who have yet to claim it and the very old who face its loss—that is the essence of our humanity. While I don’t think you lack compassion, I do think you lack empathy for your father’s plight, and I hope you find it before he’s made to suffer again.
“I find in favor of the defendant, who will retain guardianship of Arthur Daniels.” The gavel hit the bench.
Dad no longer had a say in the rest of his life.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Willow
“So how did you choose?” I asked Rose, who had just finished telling me about the love triangle she’d found herself in the middle of. Apparently where you sat at her school’s lunch table was the step before an engagement ring, and while she always sat next to Addison, her best friend, her other side was the hottest commodity at Alba Elementary.