But attending the watchathon comes with strings for me tonight. I warned Bianca before I got to her house that my EMT radio would be in tow, though I’m not sure Rachel really loves my dedication.
I’m on call tonight, meaning I can stay home or hang out with friends, but the likelihood of me getting dispatched to a scene or an emergency is higher than the nights I’m deemed off duty. Brentwick isn’t a small town, and Judy and some others are full time, salaried EMTs, but there have been a few occurrences of needing more hands. I’m happy to do it, after all it’s my passion and more hands-on experience means more preparation for nursing school.
“I’m glad they recast Reggie, because Charles Melton is a freaking smoke show,” Bianca comments.
I nod. “I can’t disagree. Those lips, mmm.”
He really is a beautiful man. And I’m glad I can take a night away from the stress I’ve been inflicting on myself. It seems like, for the first marking period of the school year, I’ve been so worried about college admissions, the cheer squad … Everett.
When I finally clicked submit on my college apps, which went out to the four schools I’m applying to, I sat in my room and stared at the walls. It’s as if I should have felt something … more? I’ve been waiting a long time to start the college chapter of my life. Not because my high school life or childhood was terrible, it’s quite the opposite actually. I just think that college is going to be the time I thrive, where my peers mature to the level I’ve always felt I operated at.
Maybe then, I won’t feel as grown up and boring as everyone jokes that I am. Maybe during college, I’ll finally be able to focus on the things I really want to accomplish, in a real way.
“God, imagine those lips on your body? I would sell my right tit.” Bianca sighs dreamily.
I snort. “You’d sell your boob to kiss Charles Melton? What happens when he sees you without one boob?”
“We’d figure that out later.” She shrugs.
Rachel texts furiously, smirking at her phone.
“Who are you talking to?” I ask, though I already know the answer.
“Scott. This show makes me horny with all the pent-up sexual tension. I need to get laid.” She sticks out her tongue at me.
“Gross. I don’t need your pheromones stinking up the room.” I pretend to make a disgusted face.
“Doesn’t it though? You just know everyone on this cast is boning each other.” Bianca nods rapidly.
I can’t say I disagree. There does seem to be some cloud of lust floating over every scene.
“How do you know when you’re ready to, um, lose it?” I pose the question, unable to look at my friends.
There is a moment of silence before they dissolve into a fit of hysterics and “OH MY GOD’s!”
“Are you telling me you want to have sex? With who? Logan?” Rachel jumps up and down on the legs folded under her, and Bianca quickly pauses the show.
I should confess to my best friends about what happened the other night with Everett, but it feels like a secret I want to keep just for him and me. They don’t know yet, because I haven’t spilled the tea, about how we’ve been connecting the past week or so. How all the animosity seems to have drained from our relationship, and things were getting extremely … steamy.
I can’t believe I almost did a striptease for Everett through our windows. The guy hasn’t even followed through on his promise to kiss me, and here I am showing him my bra.
What’s worse is that I’m ashamed I chickened out. Would another girl, a more experienced girl, given him the whole package? Should I have crooked my finger and told him to come over?
What happened feels like a sacred moment, this scorching hot event that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since. Every time I picture him, his eyes ablaze and his pants tented from his erection, my whole body goes into a full flush of heat.
“Let’s say that hypothetically, yes.” What they don’t know, they can’t gossip about.
And I’d rather have them bugging me about my nonexistent chemistry with Logan Myers, rather than pressuring me about my very real feelings for Everett.
“Well, you should probably get on the pill first and foremost.” Bianca comes out of left field with this very mature contribution.
“Oh.” I hadn’t even considered it. “I probably should.”
Was I really considering having sex with Everett? After the night at our windows, yes. I know that if he wanted to, I would in a heartbeat. It has always been him, and if he’s ready, I am more than so.
“Definitely need the pill. And I can lend you some condoms if you don’t have a box yet. The guy should usually supply, but you can never be too careful,” Rachel instructs.
“What if he’s been with someone else? I’m so inexperienced.”
“Logan? From what I hear on the gossip wire, he’s a virgin.” Rachel looks at me, perplexed.
“Well, you never know,” I sputter, covering for myself.
Because more than likely, hell, most definitely, Everett is not a virgin. I’m sure he’s been with countless other girls, most of them probably gorgeous and college-aged.
Bianca shrugs. “Most guys think deflowering a virgin is a turn on, so you don’t have to worry there. Aside from that, just follow his lead. Trust me, Kenny, once you get in the mood, it’s kind of second nature to know what to do. And when you don’t, just go with what feels good. And talk. God, guys love it when you talk. That way, you’ll know what makes them feel good.”
“Right? Like with blow jobs, Scott loves when I ask him questions. Or when I dirty talk, sometimes we fantasize that he’s my teacher—”
“Okay! I’m going to stop you right there,” I interrupt Rachel’s TMI session.
I really wish that, at this exact moment, a call would come in for me to go to work. I would rather go to the scene of a car accident than sit here and be grilled with questions about doing the horizontal hula with a guy. My question is coming back to bite me in the ass.
“I think I’ve got the basics, thanks, guys.” Throwing my palms up to them, I signal that it’s more than enough information for one night.
Bianca leans over where she has been lounging on the couch, throwing her arms around me.
“Whenever you decide it’s time, I hope you choose the right person.”
Something in her eyes when she pulls back tells me she knew all along that I wasn’t talking about Logan.
19
Kennedy
Six teenagers sit in a booth at the local diner.
The three boys wear their dirty football jerseys over jeans, a silent boast about how hard they fought for the victory tonight. The girls sit under their wings, cheerleading sweatshirts covering their short skirts, their slim legs pebbled from standing in the cold for so long.
From an outsider’s point of view, we look like a group of yuppy, popular jocks and their girlfriends. I guess it’s not far off.
The only thing they wouldn’t realize is that I’m trying to force my heart to be invested in the guy sitting next to me, rather than pine after the one I can never be with.
“One time, Scott did the entire omelet challenge in an hour,” Logan spills.