“Good luck,” Jeremiah called.
I nodded and stepped into the bathroom. Jeremiah could see himself out.
While Max finished stripping, I turned the shower on and made sure the water was hot but not too hot. Max began mumbling a string of apologies for dragging me out here at this time to deal with him in this state.
“It’s humiliating,” he said.
I smiled as I guided him toward the open shower door. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I called you drunk from my bathtub, remember? We’re allowed moments of bad judgment. Hell, I’d say you deserve this one. But all those shots might have been a bit overkill.”
Max stood under the water and hung his head. Little rivers streamed down his cheeks and dripped off his chin and the end of his nose. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine for men’s skincare or something. I stole a brief moment just to stare at him and admire the sharp lines of his face, the angles of his cheekbones, the muscles flexing in his jaw.
His eyes fluttered open and he watched me through the stream of water. “I don’t know if I can do this, Janie.”
My smile of bravado faltered. “Max, don’t say that. I know this is complicated but—”
He reached for me, wrapped an arm behind my back, and pulled me none too gently into the shower with him. I gasped as the water hit me and soaked through my clothes. He held fast and pulled me against his naked body. For a moment, I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there, arms slack at my side, my hair sticking to my cheeks and neck.
Max bowed his head and rested his cheek against mine. “I don’t want a future with Sienna. I want a future with you.”
My heart ached.
“I want a child with you,” he continued, “not with Sienna. I’m lost, Janie. I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. How can something that feels so right be so hard to hold on to?”
I wrapped my arms around his waist. “You’re holding on to me now and I’m not going anywhere.”
The tension in his shoulders ebbed away.
I lost track of time standing in the shower with him like that. Eventually, I forced myself to move and stripped out of my water-heavy clothes. Max watched every move I made with tired, drunken eyes. Once I’d tossed my wet clothes across the bathroom into the sink, we bathed each other. There wasn’t anything sensual to it—not like there used to be when we showered together. This time, it was an act of tenderness. I wanted him to feel taken care of and he seemed to want to do the same for me.
When we were done, we dried each other off and padded to the bed. My skin still tingled from the heat of the shower as we slipped under his blankets together. Max wasted little time pulling me in close with my back pressed to his chest. His chin found its home in the groove of my shoulder and we settled into the same sleeping position we used to share when we were together.
I closed my eyes and listened to him breathe as his heart beat gently against my back. He fell asleep in less than five minutes.
Minutes crept by and I never closed my eyes. This moment, even though he was hurting, meant more to me than a job offer ever could. When he was at his most vulnerable, I was still the one he called. I was the one he wanted comfort from.
Maybe things weren’t over for Max and me. Maybe the timing would never be perfect and we would have to simply choose each other over whatever obstacle might be present at the time. Right now, that obstacle was Sienna.
She was causing him too much anguish for me not to worry about her. From what I’d heard, she wasn’t stable and I’d had my fair share of dealings with unpredictable woman with concealed intentions.
If she was pulling one over on Max and making him go through all of this, then she was going to hear from me.
Slowly, delicately, I extracted myself out from under Max’s arm. He didn’t move as I rolled off the side of the bed and padded to his door, where I took his robe off the hook and shrugged into it. It was way too big for me and I held it wrapped tightly around my waist as I crept down the hall and the stairs to my purse on the floor at the front door.
I pulled my phone out, found Holly’s number in my list of contacts, and texted her for the first time in almost a year:
Who is this Sienna woman and how do I find her?
Chapter 16
Max
I wasn’t sure if it was the headache or the hunger pangs that woke me, but when I opened my eyes to a bedroom baking in sunlight, I immediately regretted it.
My head felt like an evil little demon was using a drill against the inside of my skull. I groaned and massaged my temples as memories of last night began to flicker in and out of focus. I recalled Jeremiah at the bar suggesting I pace myself when I ordered the first round of shots. I remembered venting to him about Sienna, stumbling to his car at the end of the night, and calling Janie when we got back to my place.
Janie.
She’d come when I called her. She showed up in the middle of the night with eyes full of concern and gentle hands, and she’d taken care of me even though I’d been such a delirious asshat.
She deserved better. She wanted more than I could give right now and that wasn’t fair.
I needed to talk to her.
Her side of the bed still smelled like her perfume but she was no longer there. The sheets weren’t even warm. I forced myself to sit up and cursed my spinning head as I tried to find my footing. It took a couple of minutes to orient myself. A cold splash of water on my face in the bathroom helped.
After getting dressed and brushing my teeth, I left the bedroom. At the top of the stairs, I paused when I smelled something cooking. Nostalgia rolled over me. When Janie and I used to spend weekends together when we were together, she’d always get up before me on Saturday mornings and make pancakes. She knew where everything was in my kitchen, so I supposed it was easy for her to fall back into that habit this morning.
I descended the stairs and listened to utensils bumping against pans. As I drew closer, I could hear her humming. I smiled before coming around the corner into the kitchen.
Janie stood with her back to me at the counter, wearing one of my T-shirts. In front of her was the pancake pan. She’d poured several decent-sized pancakes onto it and stood at the ready with a flipper in hand to turn them over when they were ready.
I came up behind her.
Janie heard me coming. She tilted her face to the side but didn’t take her eyes off the pancakes. “How did you sleep?”
When I reached her, I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her free hand fell to my wrist.
“Well enough, all things considered,” I said.
She leaned back to rest her head against my collarbone. “Me too.”
Neither of us said anything while the pancakes simmered and eventually started to bubble. Janie flipped them one at a time and stirred the remaining batter in a mixing bowl for good measure.
I pulled her in a little closer and rested my cheek against hers. “Thank you for showing up for me last night.”
She stopped stirring. “I’ll always show up for you, Max.”
“I know I made an ass of myself.”
She turned in my arms and leaned against the counter at her back. Her eyes searched mine. “You did no such thing. We’re all allowed moments of doubt and vulnerability. God knows I’ve had mine. It’s not good to hold it all in.”