Only this time he can’t put me back together.
No one can.
Not even him.
He’s shown me the kind of pleasure that I didn’t know existed. Pain twists my insides, and I whimper. The sound feels harsh; it sounds faint, even to my own ears.
He raises his head, and the suction as his skin separates from mine scrapes over my already sensitized nerves. Waves of tension radiate out from him. His body goes still, his muscles tense.
I feel like I have been separated from myself.
One part of me is held in his arms, where he holds me and stares down at me.
The other half is looking down at our joined figures. At the proud sweep of his back, the swell of his butt cheeks as he squeezes them, his massive thighs that he’s pushed between mine, and my own legs wrapped around his waist. My arms still twined around his shoulders.
I feel his gaze rake over my face, but I don’t dare open my eyes. If I do, he’ll see just how much this hurts…worse, how much this has shocked me, changed me, turned me on, made me want him all over again. And yet the waves of pleasure keep coming.
Another burst of desire sparks up my legs, centering in my groin where his dick strains inside me. “You’re still erect.” I open my eyelids, only to meet his blue gaze.
It’s troubled. I catch just the edge of it before he sweeps his eyelids down. When he raises them again, it’s as if he’s drawn a curtain over his emotions. The mask is back in place.
This man is an assassin, a killer.
He could take without mercy. He could mate me, then walk away… I tighten my inner walls around his dick. Amber fires flare in the depths of his eyes. Sweat beads his forehead.
Apparently, I have power over him, too.
I angle my aching hips, just enough for the walls of my pussy to clamp over his dick.
He shudders. “What are you doing?”
“You gave me two orgasms—"
His lips curl.
"That wasn't meant to boost your already swollen ego." I raise my chin.
His dick throbs inside me.
"Or other parts of you." My cheeks flush and damn the man. Can't I have a conversation without melting into liquid sex all around him?
"So, two orgasms back to back, not too shabby, eh?" He grins.
He's repeating my words back to me, just to make a point no doubt. I'd walked right into that one.
"Not that I'm counting or anything," I growl.
"Of course not." His shoulders shake.
Bastard's having a fine ol' time at my expense.
I squeeze my inner walls around his turgid shaft, and his features tighten. "You trying to kill me woman?"
"Just trying to make you come again.” I squeeze my thighs around his waist. Color burns his cheeks.
Ooh. I like this game. He's as responsive to me as I am to him.
His brows draw down, “I don’t want to hurt you again Gia.”
“You didn’t—”
“Don’t lie.” His voice rasps over my sensitized skin.
I bite my lower lip. “It did… I admit…but not enough to put me off having sex with you. Just enough to make me—”
“Curious?”
“I was going to say hungry for more.”
As if in accordance, my stomach grumbles just then.
“You are hungry…but for food.” He sets his jaw.
He retracts inside me. Then he pulls out.
“Wait.” My heart squeezes. Something in his eyes, his demeanor, the way he’s acting. It’s as if he mated me and now, he’s pulling away from me already. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He holds my gaze.
“Something is.” I bite my lower lip. “This is not like you.”
“You mean you expect me to hold you and cuddle you, in the post-coital way of humans?” His lips thin.
My shoulders droop, and I look away.
The next second, he flips me, so I am curled over him and pushed into his side. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, not physically, and not now in acting like someone completely insensitive.”
"You mean acting in character like the alphahole you are." Tears sting the back of my eyes and I don't get it. Why does it feel like my heart is breaking in my chest?
I sniffle.
His arms tighten. “Fuck, don’t cry, Gia. You're right, I'm a callous brute.”
"That too." More tears pour down my cheeks, and before I know it, I am bawling. His arm around me tightens; he cradles me close, then rocks me. I can take it when he’s angry with me or being strange in that Fae way of his. But this, when he’s so caring, so protective, completely undoes me.
I throw my arms around him, press my cheek against his skin, and simply let the tears flow.
I cry for not just the near-death experience when he shot me, but for the orphan that I am. Being found and taken in by shifters, coming of age with them. Then wanting to join the Bureau just to prove I am as strong as my adoptive family. I’ve always tried to improve myself. Tried to be more than what I am. Except now, here in his arms, I let my weakness come to the fore. With him, it doesn’t matter how much I try, he’ll always be the more dangerous one. The one whose power is stronger than anyone else I’ve ever met.
It takes away the need to fake anything from me.
Also allows me the freedom to just be myself. It’s freeing, and the feeling is so new, so different, that I can’t stop the emotions from pouring out of me.
“Shh.” He kisses my forehead then rubs his cheek against my hair. “Gia, you are my breaking my heart.”
26
Dante
I hold Starlight until her sobs grow less in intensity. She cries as if she’s never cried before. My chest aches. My skin tightens. My insides feel like they are being torn apart.
I’ve never felt so vulnerable against someone else. But this tiny human, crying in my arms, has that power over me.
I hold her as close as I can, wrapping my arms around her and trying to enfold her. I rest my chin on her head and let her cry.
Her tears wet my skin; it feels even more intimate than when we’d made love.
Somehow, seeing her stripped of all her walls, is both humbling and a warning that I am so close to breaking even more rules. I told her that I loved her. I hadn’t expected to confess that; yet I can’t take back those words either.
But now, as I hold her close and use my body to soothe her, I know I am changing from the inside. I mated with her, knowing it would impact her, but I hadn’t thought of the effect it would have on me. The ball of heat in my chest tingles. I know it’s where the mating bond connects me to her. A sign that I’ll always be vulnerable with her. Owned by her as much as she is mine.
She turns her face into my chest, then licks my skin.
My heartbeat accelerates. Liquid desire sears my blood. My groin aches. Seriously? I can’t be thinking of taking her, not when she is still trying to collect herself. But my dick doesn't seem to care.
She presses her lips against my chest.
Heat shivers down my spine.
I squeeze her hips to stop her. But she simply wriggles her little body in the circle of my arms.
I loosen my hold, and she crawls up my chest until she is poised over me. Teardrops cling to the tips of her eyelashes. Those silver eyes glitter as if they are pools of sorrow. They draw me in, threatening to drown me forever. She swallows, and her gaze draws down to rest on my mouth.