“Yeah. Go home.”
Disbelief colored his expression as he slowly straightened from the position he’d been in. “Emberly was right. Freaking Dixie Chicks, man.”
A scoff left me, my eyes rolling as I walked away. “Idiot.”
“I enjoyed our heart-to-heart too,” he called out, all playful amusement.
“Go home, Cayson.”
“Hey.” At the change in his tone, I turned to face where he was standing a couple feet from the chair. “Be patient with her,” he said, repeating words he’d said to me the night before.
“The longest I’ve ever gone without her was the summer her parents sent her away. Since we’ve been married?” My shoulders lifted in a hint of a shrug. “It’s been her and me, every night . . . until now. And she wants nothing to do with me.”
Sympathy washed over his face, his head shaking as he took a step back. “I know that isn’t true, but maybe you should talk to Sawyer. He sees her almost every day.”
Something twisted in my chest.
Not that I was surprised. Sawyer had always been at our house, helping out with renovations or fixing whatever went wrong. Or just to be there. But knowing my wife was confiding in my youngest brother when she wouldn’t talk to me? It hurt.
“Or maybe you should talk to Hunter since he’s been on her side of it.”
My eyes narrowed in warning. “You know where I stand with him.”
“Maybe you should talk to Hunter,” he repeated firmly, brows lifting knowingly as he turned and walked out the door.
Yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen.
My gaze moved to where the small, rectangular box sat on the side counter for the umpteenth time since I’d started baking. My hand paused with the icing-covered spoon mid-air before I was able to push the box from my mind and focus on what I was doing: Drizzling icing over the Danish pastries for the guests that would be arriving throughout the day.
A full bed and breakfast that weekend and a full bed and breakfast the weekend after.
All while my world was crumbling.
I can do this.
I have this handled.
I watched my oldest kids dash through the kitchen, laughs bouncing off the walls as Quinn tried to catch her younger brother. Warming my soul and making me confident that I could do this. Until my stare shifted to the side counter once again . . .
A sound of frustration burst from me when I finally moved around the island so my back was to that counter. Helping me focus on the task at hand.
At least for a little while.
I somehow made it through dishes and cleaning the islands while the icing dried on the Danishes. But once they were in their display case and off to the side, next to my momma’s favorite lemon pound cake and the peach hand pies—because I had no control when I was an emotional wreck—I found myself standing at the counter I’d been struggling to avoid. Staring at the box like it could destroy me.
I knew what was in there—a new phone. The box was familiar enough, and the picture on the outside told me as much. But it was that Beau had done this . . . without a word. Without a question as to what happened to my original one. He’d just taken care of it.
When he’d shown up again the day before, it had been different. More painful. I’d desperately wanted to fall into that place beside him as I listened to the familiar sounds of his deep, gravelly voice mixing with the animated tones of our kids’ voices as they had conversations and played. As I’d watched him care for them the way he always had.
But I’d stayed off to the side, letting them have that time together.
And even when his stare had drifted to me, all that intense passion capturing me up and weakening my anger and my resolve, he hadn’t tried closing that distance between us the way he had the first night. He also hadn’t said anything to me until he was leaving, and then it was just two words.
The only ones that mattered when it came to us.
“Every breath.”
Once he was gone, I’d headed to the kitchen to stress-bake. And that’s when the box had first caught my eye—sitting in the exact spot where I’d left my phone after accidentally shattering the screen a couple days before. I’d stood there staring at it much the same way I was then before going to the freezer and grabbing a pint of ice cream instead.
“This is stupid. He’s your husband, he’s allowed to replace your broken phone,” I muttered to myself, snatching up the box and carefully opening the lid.
I don’t know what I’d been expecting, considering I knew what the box held, but my shoulders sagged when I found a phone. Already set up to look exactly like my old one with every picture and message still there.
Maybe it was because I’d immediately gone through all the missed calls and messages, looking for anything from Beau . . . and finding nothing. Since I’d first told him to leave, he’d called a couple times a day and messaged dozens more. But there hadn’t been one call or text from him since he’d first come over.
I wasn’t sure why it hurt so badly, why it made my chest ache with dread, even though I’d told him I wasn’t ready.
Maybe because it felt like a step down a path we couldn’t come back from. Maybe because our distance and silence terrified me as much as it felt necessary.
I hurried to grab up the box when I heard Levi waking from his nap, babbling and cooing to himself, my movements coming to an abrupt stop when I saw it.
Setting the phone on the counter, I pulled away the slip of paper stuck to the inside of the box, my heart racing this unforgiving beat when I turned it around and saw Beau’s scrawl.
I love you.
Cradling the paper in my palm, I took the box upstairs and set the paper on my nightstand, letting my gaze linger on it for a moment longer before I hurried off to see one of my favorite guys.
“Handsome boy,” I whispered, expression bright when I snuck into Levi’s room and found him staring at me through the slats of his crib. A cheesy grin spreading wide across his face and showcasing his dimples. “How was your nap?”
He babbled endlessly as I changed his diaper and put him in a new outfit.
“Tell me about it,” I teased as I lifted him into my arms and started for the door. “Your life sounds so rough.”
“Dadda?” he asked, pointing at the doorway and twisting my heart.
“Mmhm,” I forced out, nodding and keeping my smile in place. “Daddy will be here soon. So will lots of other people, including Grandma and Grandpa. Isn’t that fun?”
“Dadda,” he said again, continuing to lead the way with his finger.
“Yeah.” I took a fortifying breath as I started down the stairs. Trying to ignore the fierce ache in my chest and the way it felt like I would fall to the floor and never get up again if I stopped for just one second. “I know, buddy.”
Following the sounds of my older kids down the stairs and into their tucked-away playroom, I let my stare dance over them as they colored side by side. Their lightsabers still lit up and lying forgotten beside them after what I was sure was an epic battle.
“Qin.”
A soft gasp left me as I looked to where Levi was pointing at them, excitement bursting from me as I bounced him, slowly dancing with him. “That’s right! Is that your sister, Quinn?”