“Already on it,” Graham said instantly. “I’ve spoken to Bowie. He has a spot on his crew if you want it. Dad has spoken to the guys on the docks. There’s a job there as well. And there’s an opening at the fish market. So, you have options.”
“Fishing would be good.”
“It would, but, Grady, I’m concerned about you being on a boat. You haven’t been on one since the accident.”
“I think I’ll be okay.”
“Thinking and knowing are two different things. Maybe if we talk about what happened that night—”
Grady’s eyes shot up, angry and intense. “I will not talk about it. I live it every day.”
Graham held his hands up. The accident was a topic the therapist had trouble scratching the surface of. Each time he asked, Grady shut down. He refused to discuss it or tell anyone what truly happened that night.
“I just worry about you being out there and all.” Graham sighed and changed the subject. “So, you have a couple prospects, which is a good start.”
“Do you still live on the houseboat?”
“Yeah. There’s a recovery house in Skagit Valley that you qualify for, or Mom and Dad’s is always an option.” There was no way Grady could come live with Graham. The house was too small, and they both needed their own space.
“Guess I have a few weeks to figure it out.”
“And I’ll help. You have a strong team supporting you. We won’t let you fail.”
When visiting hours ended, Graham and Grady hugged. “I’ll see you in a couple days,” Graham told his brother. As well as Grady was doing, Graham feared a setback, especially when Grady returned to Cape Harbor. With his refusal to talk about the night of the accident, Grady still battled a lot of demons, and it was those demons that led him to drink. Something had to be done, but he wasn’t sure what, if anything. There wasn’t a law saying Grady had to tell his therapist everything, and if he couldn’t get Grady to open up, who could?
Graham made it back to Cape Harbor in record time. He’d become a pro at making it to the ferry when it was time to board. Instead of getting out of his car, he used the time it took to get across the bay to take a nap. Exhaustion was Graham’s new friend.
Once the ferry docked, he drove home. He had to work later but wanted to take a shower and relax. When he got to his door, he saw a note taped there.
Meet me at the pit
Ren
Graham wasn’t sure what to think about the note. Part of him found it cute, but the other half of him wanted to know why she hadn’t called and told him she was in town. Graham got back in his car and drove over to the Driftwood Inn, which was the easiest place to access the firepit. Throughout his life, he had spent so many spring and summer nights in this spot. Many of his memories included Rennie.
He parked along the side of the road to not only avoid the valet at the inn but to also cut through the shrubs. He didn’t want to run into Brooklyn—and Bowie, if he was home. Graham went down the stairs and trudged through the sand until he came upon the driftwood-log formation. There were a blanket and a pair of shoes, but no Rennie. Graham looked out over the horizon and saw someone standing near the water. He went toward the person, hoping it was her. When he got closer, he could see her multicolored hair, which he loved picking the colors out from, blowing in the wind. She was dressed in shorts and a long-sleeved shirt and stood barefoot in the wet sand.
“You’re going to catch a cold out here.” It wasn’t the first time he’d had to warn her about getting sick.
Rennie turned and smiled. When Graham was close, she wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tightly. He hugged her back. Neither of them spoke; they just stood there in each other’s arms and absorbed the moment.
It was Graham who finally said something. “I’m kind of surprised to see you, honestly.”
“I know. I’m sorry for being so absent.”
“How come you didn’t tell me you were coming up?”
Rennie tilted her head up and smiled. “I wanted to surprise you. The lawsuit against you, totally bogus. You will have a new delivery driver, though, from the distribution company. Your normal driver saw you as an easy target, concocted this whole story to get money because the insurance company wouldn’t pay for his daughter’s care because she was at fault. She wasn’t even in the area at the time of her accident. The whole thing was really convoluted and has really left a bad taste in my mouth with the firm. Donna wanted to waste resources and money to bring the case to trial, but we had enough evidence to shut her down.”
He couldn’t deny it; he liked her surprise, and he was relieved, but something else bothered him. Her lack of communication. She rose to kiss him, and he allowed it but didn’t deepen the kiss. He pulled away and enveloped her with his arms. Graham looked out over the ocean, hoping to gain the strength and encouragement he needed for what he was about to say.
“Ren, we need to talk.”
He felt her move, and when he looked down, she stared at him. He bent forward, kissed her nose, and then took her and led her back to the pit. He sat down and expected her to sit next to him, but she sat between his legs, like they were seventeen all over again.
Graham pulled the blanket over her to keep her warm, like he had on the boat. He wished they had a fire, but it would take too long for him to start one, and it would likely attract people from the inn, and he wanted as much privacy as possible.
“I saw Grady today,” he started. “He really likes his new lawyer. Said things are very promising?”
Rennie nodded against Graham’s chest. “That’s good.” She inhaled and then exhaled slowly, gathering her thoughts. “I’m in this funk, and I don’t know how to get out of it. I know I’m shutting you out—Brooklyn too. I’m trying to find a way to deal with everything.”
“Do you remember when I told you I thought you needed time to get over Theo?”
She nodded against his chest.
“I want you to take the time, Rennie. You need it, and I need to focus on Grady. And I think . . .” Graham paused and fought back the tears. His heart ripped in two, and he prepared himself for what he was about to say. “I think we need to remain friends. I had come to you with the idea that we date, and you blew me off. I really feel like I’m giving so much of myself to you, being here, but I can never say no to you. As stupid as this sounds, I know I could take you back to my house, and we’d have sex because that is what we’ve been used to. Don’t get me wrong; the sex is great—but it doesn’t tell me the kind of person you are. I want to know who you are now. I don’t want to rely on memories. And as much as I love you, we’re not on the same path. The list of qualities you want in a partner—they’re not me. I’m never going to be financially stable; hell, I’ll probably die behind the bar. Sometimes I think I want a wife and a kid or two, and that’s not the life you want, and I’m okay with that because you’d be enough in my life.
“What we had when we were younger—it was great. The best time of my life. But if Grady’s rehab has taught me anything, it’s taught me that I can’t live in the past, and that is what I see when we’re together.” She had heard all this before, but he figured he’d repeat it, maybe help her accept she wasn’t ready for a relationship, at least not the kind he wanted to have.